Still In Bed
I got home Friday night near midnight. Mrs. Lion had a hard time getting to the airport. Traffic was terrible. We have no idea why. But she managed to pick me up. I was exhausted. I took a shower and went to bed. I’ve been in bed since. I’ve slept on and off. Hopefully I’ll have more energy tomorrow.
Despite my weakened state, Mrs. Lion spent some time giving me oral attention. She got me close to the edge a few times. That was the first sexual arousal since last Sunday.
I’ve ordered a new plastic cage that is a half inch shorter. The new cage will be 1 1/2 inches long. It should arrive in two weeks or so. I’m not optimistic about the base ring. The new one will be 1 7/8 inches in diameter. My regular size is 1 3/4 inches. That extra 1/8th inch may cut the friction down. If it does, this could be the perfect cage. If not, the maker suggests that I use silicone lube. I’m not convince that I want to do that.
I hate being sick. Mrs. Lion is taking great care of me. She has changed subtly. I’m sure that it’s 2.0 taking over full time. She caught me interrupting yesterday. Last night she said because I am sick she wouldn’t spank me. She didn’t say whether I got a pass or she was just postponing punishment. Right now that isn’t on my mind. It will be when I feel better.
I’m going back to bed.
It Was Not a Question
A few years ago, a coworker had plans to visit her mother for Thanksgiving. At the last minute, there was an issue at my friend’s house and rather than driving an hour away to spend time with family, she was going to be alone for Thanksgiving. I immediately wanted to invite her to our house. There were a few problems. Despite the fact that we’d been living in our house for several years, we still had boxes here and there and the living room was a mess. The whole house was a mess. Could we clean it in such a short time? The other problem was that Lion didn’t really know my coworker. He’d met her at the office. He’d met her at a function or two, but could he handle her for dinner? So rather than asking my friend to dinner, I first asked Lion if she could come. He had veto power. I was not going to do it unless he agreed. We did manage to get the house clean and that friend has been over a few more times. Lion has even said it would be nice to have her over more often.
Fast forward to this year. A week ago that same friend was wondering if she should get a Christmas tree. I asked her if there was some reason she wouldn’t want one. Her stepfather died this year, she’d lost her cat, and she had her dog put down about a month ago. On black Friday she’d adopted another cat and maybe she wasn’t sure how he would react to a tree with all the flashing lights and sparkly ornaments. That wasn’t her concern. Both her mother and roommate were off visiting family. She’d be alone for Christmas. This time I didn’t hesitate. I said she could have dinner with us.
Now, in the back of my mind I was thinking that Lion had already said she should come over more. But I also knew it didn’t matter. It was my decision. No one should have to spend Christmas alone. Whether Lion liked it or not, she was coming. I emailed him to tell him the news. Of course, he said it was fine. Last night we were discussing it and he said he didn’t even realize I had told him she was coming. He thought I’d asked if it was all right with him, which of course it would be. I’m in charge.
In his post this morning, Lion says maybe I haven’t internalized power yet. I’m not sure I’m all the way there, but this is a good start. It’s one of the first times I’ve put my foot down and told him we were doing something. I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t worry if it would be okay. I just said this is how it’s going to be. Period. It was not a question.
I can’t say I’ll be that confident in every decision. But maybe, just maybe, 2.0 is taking over. I’m sure Lion is both happy and a little scared. Don’t worry, my pet. It’s for your own good.
It’s How I Want To Live
I’m back in the cloudy Northwest. It’s goodbye to palm trees and sun for a few weeks. I’ve been under the weather so I’ve spent as much time as I can in my hotel room snuggled under the covers. This has given me a bit of extra time to think.
For example, I’ve been looking back over the last couple of weeks. As Mrs. Lion observed, I am on my best behavior since those two severe spankings. That means they were effective. I haven’t thought about spanking in a sexual way since. It would be surprising if that “halo” effect lasted much longer. I’ll forget and get sloppy; at least that is my past pattern. Who knows? Maybe we have crossed a behavioral Rubicon where punishment has its intended effect to deter me from repeating my offenses. Fat chance.
The fact that those spankings had any behavioral effect at all is pretty amazing to me. When I think back, I don’t feel apprehensive about how it felt. True, I’m in no rush to repeat it. But I know there will be many more. That thought doesn’t scare me. But I know that until the memory fades, I will be more careful.
The big question in my mind is whether domestic discipline has increased Mrs. Lion’s sense of being in charge? Has it made my perception of her power more acute? From my perspective, it’s too soon for my view of her to change. Only after I have internalized the fact that there will always be painful consequences when I don’t do as she wishes, will I accept her power on the visceral level that DD is supposed to provoke. In other words, give us a bit of time before things change.
I think that the key change needed will be Mrs. Lion’s. When she internalizes her power and can just tell me to do things and expect immediate obedience, will this change fully materialize. Right now she is testing out her power. The rules we have set up for me help her get used to her power.
The reason I’m not talking about my obedience or acceptance of her power is that it doesn’t matter how I feel about it or whether or not I accept it unquestioningly. That’s where DD comes in. When I don’t accept her power I will be punished. My only choice is to do what I am told or accept a punishment. That’s the extent of decision making that I have when it comes to obedience.
It’s true that in the rest of my life I make decisions and use power the way I always have. I’m not suddenly a simpering submissive. But when Mrs. Lion speaks, on pain of punishment, I listen. That’s the power dynamic.
I believe that domestic discipline is probably the most misunderstood kink out there. People assume that the power exchange demands that the disciplining wife take 100% control over her husband’s life. I suppose that is a possibility, but I doubt many people go there.
The reality is a lot easier to manage. I remain a confident, assertive male. I make decisions for us as I always have. I pay the bills and share the housework with my lioness. This is exactly the same as it was before we adopted FLR and DD. But, now that I am her disciplined husband, she chooses what decisions she wants to make. She decided what behavioral changes I must make. I don’t get to argue or veto anything she wants. Failure to fully comply gets me a spanking.
In one sense, this could feel like a BDSM scene. It’s not. A workable power exchange never turns the submissive partner into a micromanaged robot. It’s too much work for one thing. In areas that Mrs. Lion chooses, it’s really simple: Do what she wants or else. We know what her “or else” is. I would rather avoid that.
The domestic discipline power exchange is the mirror opposite of enforced chastity. I’m locked in a chastity device that makes it impossible to have any unauthorized sexual activity. I have no choices. There is no need for punishment. I can’t access my penis. Case closed. With DD I am free to do what I want. However, if I do something that Mrs. Lion doesn’t want, I will pay a painful price.
Both are exercises of female control. Both restrict areas of my life. One does it with physical restraint, the other with painful consequences for disobedience. The question I can’t answer is why I want to live this way? I don’t know, but I do.
Homeward Bound
I’m so excited to see Lion tonight. Neither of us likes when the other is away. I doubt there will be any wild sex or play since I still have my annoying let’s-drag-this-misery-out cold and Lion is also sick. But we’ve pretty much decided we’re staying in all weekend and vegetating. Of course, by Saturday afternoon Lion will be stir crazy and need to get out of the house. It might be the perfect time for 2.0 to put her foot down and demand that we not go out unless there is a dire need for something.
Lion has not self-disclosed any infractions while he’s been away. I know he doesn’t necessarily feel horny when we’re not together so I don’t think he’s been touching my weenie inappropriately. Plus he’s been sick for the past few days. It’s a good thing I sent him off with cough drops and cold medicine just in case. He did react to the new paddle though. I’m sure the two will be intimately introduced sooner or later. However, I’ve decided that I’ll suspend the food spilling rule while he’s sick. Depending on how sick and helpless he is, I may suspend other rules too. Lion thinks it’s funny that women refer to men as their children. We also know that any illness a man has is at least ten times worse than any woman’s illness. Childbirth? Ha! Look at this hangnail. It’s a good thing I don’t mind tending to a Lion who’s on death’s door with a cold.
With any luck, Lion’s plane will be in around 10:30. We should be back home by midnight and snuggling shortly after that. Maybe we’ll both sleep better together even with our colds. Regardless, it will be good to have my pet home where he belongs.
