It’s How I Want To Live

I’m back in the cloudy Northwest. It’s goodbye to palm trees and sun for a few weeks. I’ve been under the weather so I’ve spent as much time as I can in my hotel room snuggled under the covers. This has given me a bit of extra time to think.

For example, I’ve been looking back over the last couple of weeks. As Mrs. Lion observed, I am on my best behavior since those two severe spankings. That means they were effective. I haven’t thought about spanking in a sexual way since. It would be surprising if that “halo” effect lasted much longer. I’ll forget and get sloppy; at least that is my past pattern. Who knows? Maybe we have crossed a behavioral Rubicon where punishment has its intended effect to deter me from repeating my offenses. Fat chance.

The fact that those spankings had any behavioral effect at all is pretty amazing to me. When I think back, I don’t feel apprehensive about how it felt. True, I’m in no rush to repeat it. But I know there will be many more. That thought doesn’t scare me. But I know that until the memory fades, I will be more careful.

The big question in my mind is whether domestic discipline has increased Mrs. Lion’s sense of being in charge? Has it made my perception of her power more acute? From my perspective, it’s too soon for my view of her to change. Only after I have internalized the fact that there will always be painful consequences when I don’t do as she wishes, will I accept her power on the visceral level that DD is supposed to provoke. In other words, give us a bit of time before things change.

I think that the key change needed will be Mrs. Lion’s. When she internalizes her power and can just tell me to do things and expect immediate obedience, will this change fully materialize. Right now she is testing out her power. The rules we have set up for me help her get used to her power.

The reason I’m not talking about my obedience or acceptance of her power is that it doesn’t matter how I feel about it or whether or not I accept it unquestioningly. That’s where DD comes in. When I don’t accept her power I will be punished. My only choice is to do what I am told or accept a punishment. That’s the extent of decision making that I have when it comes to obedience.

It’s true that in the rest of my life I make decisions and use power the way I always have. I’m not suddenly a simpering submissive. But when Mrs. Lion speaks, on pain of punishment, I listen. That’s the power dynamic.

I believe that domestic discipline is probably the most misunderstood kink out there. People assume that the power exchange demands that the disciplining wife take 100% control over her husband’s life. I suppose that is a possibility, but I doubt many people go there.

The reality is a lot easier to manage. I remain a confident, assertive male. I make decisions for us as I always have. I pay the bills and share the housework with my lioness. This is exactly the same as it was before we adopted FLR and DD. But, now that I am her disciplined husband, she chooses what decisions she wants to make. She decided what behavioral changes I must make. I don’t get to argue or veto anything she wants. Failure to fully comply gets me a spanking.

In one sense, this could feel like a BDSM scene. It’s not. A workable power exchange never turns the submissive partner into a micromanaged robot. It’s too much work for one thing. In areas that Mrs. Lion chooses, it’s really simple: Do what she wants or else. We know what her “or else” is. I would rather avoid that.

The domestic discipline power exchange is the mirror opposite of enforced chastity. I’m locked in a chastity device that makes it impossible to have any unauthorized sexual activity. I have no choices. There is no need for punishment. I can’t access my penis. Case closed. With DD I am free to do what I want. However, if I do something that Mrs. Lion doesn’t want, I will pay a painful price.

Both are exercises of female control. Both restrict areas of my life. One does it with physical restraint, the other with painful consequences for disobedience. The question I can’t answer is why I want to live this way? I don’t know, but I do.

What do you think?