Rules
I admit it. I like making fun of Lion. He keeps getting himself into trouble and then he whines about how bad the punishment will be. What can I do but laugh? It’s his fault he gets punished at all. He suggested it. And it’s his fault he is getting punished at that specific time. Hoisted by his own petard.
Today, he is lamenting the fact that it’s punishment day and he has some pretty big offenses. He forgot his training collar the other day and spilled food on himself. Last night he remembered the training collar, but interrupted me. His fate is in his own hands. I can’t help it if he needs to be punished. And I think it would be a disservice to him to be lenient.
Last night I also added a new rule. I was talking about my impending cold and if it will become a full-blown cold or my normal I-feel-like-crap-all-winter cold. Lion interrupted by saying he hopes he doesn’t have a cold while he’s travelling next week. What’s wrong with that? Besides the interrupting, who was talking about him? We were talking about me. Not him. He does this quite often. I’ll be talking about work and he’ll start talking about his work. Who said I was done talking about my work? I know sometimes he can’t tell, but sometimes it’s obvious there’s more to my story. So I decided he needs an it’s-not-always-about-you rule. The question is, does he get punished for interrupting and high-jacking the conversation or just one? I think that’s up to me. If I feel that he’s interrupted as well as high-jacked, then he’ll be punished for both.
It’s become a cruel land in the Lion’s den. That’s exactly the way he wants it. Well, maybe he doesn’t want cruel. He just wants to be held accountable for his actions. He’s still the one who controls those actions.
Demise Engineering
As Anonymous said in his comment yesterday, I’m an excellent engineer of my own demise. I guess I am. It’s good to know I do quality work. It may seem odd to some that I work so hard to make things more difficult or painful for myself. Mrs. Lion shakes her head at this. It isn’t that I can’t help myself, as she says. I truly want to help her perfect her lion taming skills.
Let’s face it, I asked for her to lead the relationship. I asked her to lock me in a chastity device. And I taught her how to spank me. I know that the fantasy is that she would initiate all this on her own and that I would be her hapless victim. That’s pure fantasy. All this stuff isn’t just consensual, it’s male initiated.
Just what did I ask for? Don’t say I asked for a female led relationship with domestic discipline and enforced chastity. That’s like going to a bar on Skid Row and asking for a Sex On the Beach cocktail. The bartender may be willing to make it but chances are very good he doesn’t know how. This was exactly the case with Mrs. Lion.
I wanted her to sexually dominate me and do all the stuff that goes with enforced chastity and domestic discipline. It can’t be a surprise that she had no real idea how to do that. Luckily, she was willing to try. She already had a good idea about spanking me. We had done that on and off for years as part of our play. She never considered enforced chastity. So I had to help. It isn’t enough to give her the Big Book of Lion Taming. Well there isn’t such a book. But even if there were it wouldn’t explain what works and doesn’t work with me.
You shouldn’t be surprised that I let Mrs. Lion know how I think things could work for us in terms of our power exchange. It was all my idea in the first place. I asked for my own demise. I want her power to be real. I want her to punish me effectively. It’s part of what I requested.
So, shouldn’t I let her know what I would hate for punishment? Yes, it may mean I will get it and maybe hate it. If I don’t, it’s up to me to help her find ways to make me more miserable. That doesn’t mean I’m a masochist wanting her to hurt me. I’m not. I just want her to be able to effectively use the power I gave her.
That’s what demise engineering is all about. It’s the practice of developing effective tools for power exchange. It takes a lot more than someone willing to take control and her willing victim. It takes practical knowledge of how to effectively own and control him. The best reviewer of effectiveness is the demise engineer. He is also the best source of ideas that might take him down more easily. This process is necessary for effective domination.
I think the biggest myth about power exchange is that all the bottom has to do is surrender. The top needs at least as much training as the bottom. Without some solid demise engineering, both the top and bottom will grow frustrated. Success at FLR, domestic discipline, and enforced chastity requires a healthy amount of demise engineering.
Get to work guys. it’s your job to be your own demise engineer.
Sufficient Punishment
You can’t teach an old Lion new tricks. Or old tricks either I guess. We went out last night and before we left the house I wondered if he’d put on the training collar. Of course, I wasn’t going to remind him. It’s his job to remember. When we got to our destination I took out my phone to see if I could connect to the training collar that was still on Lion’s dresser. No luck. I showed him the phone app that said it was unable to connect. He gave me a sheepish grin and said it couldn’t connect because it was too far away. Yup. That’ll do it.
He can’t say he was distracted by horniness. He had his orgasm the night before. He’d also had punishment the night before. He wondered last night if he had built up the punishment to such a level in his mind that he thought it would be worse than it was, but perhaps it really was a harsh punishment. It just didn’t reach the level in his mind so he felt lucky. Apparently it wasn’t hard enough or he might have remembered his training collar. I guess I’ll have to step it up more.
To add insult to injury, (or more injury to injury in the case of Lion’s butt) he spilled food on himself at dinner. I know he didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t think he can really help it. I’ve even been accidentally dropping food on my shirt. We joke it’s a good thing he doesn’t get punished when I do it. But Lion needs to keep himself clean. That’s the rule. He just needs more reminders.
I’ve been trying to come up with an idea for a more effective punishment. So far, I’ve got the nasty, little clothespins for his cock or menthol on his balls. I’m not sure if those would be any more effective than spanking. I think they both hurt more, but that doesn’t necessarily make them more effective. I’m not sure I should have alternate punishments anyway. Wouldn’t that send mixed signals? Or maybe I need an arsenal at my disposal. I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.
I’m also wondering if I should change punishment from two nights a week to the night it happens. When Lion built up the punishment in his mind the other day, he said the punishment didn’t seem as bad. That’s the opposite effect I want. I do want him dreading the swats, but not to the extent that his imagination is worse than real life. Perhaps if I do it the same night, or the next night depending on when the infraction occurs, he’ll be sufficiently concerned without being too concerned.
We are definitely a work in progress.
Enforced Chastity Workshop 1: Expectations
Welcome to our first online workshop. Today we are looking at the most basic issue in enforced chastity: expectations.
Men and women are very different. It goes way deeper than sex organs. We don’t think the same way. For example, most guys find seeing a naked woman arousing. Women aren’t generally turned on by naked men. Males are much more visual than females. That’s just the surface of the differences.
We males think a lot about sex and about our penises. I doubt that women spend that much time thinking about penises or, for that matter, vaginas. We’re wired differently. I’m turned on by being locked into a chastity device. It’s exciting in a truly perverted way that I’m aroused by being prevented from getting sexual satisfaction. Is there any way Mrs. Lion would find that arousing?
Think about it. Women aren’t particularly visual. They don’t generally think about male sex organs. It’s unlikely they are particularly interested in how often a man ejaculates. Why would they have any interest in enforced chastity?
“Oh, I know!” some guy in the back of the room shouts. “They like the power it gives them. Sexual control gives them control over their locked male.”
Really? “Oh yes!” the guy in the back shouts. “She can make him clean the house, do the laundry, and give her baths. She can make him wear panties.”
So, guy in the back, you’re saying that a woman would enjoy locking her male up so she could get him to do chores. Oh what fun it must be to blackmail your husband into helping you around the house. It just doesn’t add up. Hey, isn’t it true that thinking about her making you wear panties and do housework turn you on?
“Of course.”
So far all I’ve heard is a list of things that turn you on. So far I haven’t heard that there is anything in it for her.
We’ve established that there is no inherent interest in locking up her partner’s penis. So, it is unlikely she knows anything about enforced chastity when you decide to talk to her about it. If you are lucky enough to have a partner as wonderful as Mrs. Lion, she is going to agree to try enforced chastity. But she won’t know any more about enforced chastity than what you told her. She could search the Internet and with luck, find reliable information to support being your keyholder.
Mrs. Lion isn’t inclined to research this stuff. That means I am her sole source of information. If I want her to be an effective keyholder for me, I’m going to have to find and provide the how-to’s for her.
Do you see where this is going? Like most things in life, you just can’t ask for something and then sit back and get the goody. You have to work for it. If you want your partner to be an effective keyholder, she needs to learn what she has to do. She needs a lot more than your fantasy about being locked up. It’s a start to tell her, but that’s only the beginning.
You can read this blog to see how much discussion we’ve had on this subject. It’s taken years for Mrs. Lion to make enforced chastity her own. She depends on my feedback. I depend on hers.
Also, even though the fantasy benefits of house cleaning and panties may not appeal to her, she has to get something positive out of all the work she does as your keyholder. Enforced chastity has transformed our physical relationship. It’s made us closer than ever before. We share the housework and I don’t wear panties unless she wants to humiliate me a little. It doesn’t matter. She’s in charge and I haven’t masturbated in three years. Any sexual pleasure I get comes directly from her. We both love it that way.
The biggest joy for me in all this happens when Mrs. Lion comes up with things on her own. She’s graduated. My enforced chastity is now completely in her hands. How cool is that?
