It’s for Lion
The other day, we got a comment asking if Lion punishes me if I spill food or eat before he does. I wonder if that person ever read our blog. Why would Lion punish me? For anything. He does insist I eat vegetables once in a while and scolds me into making doctor’s appointments. Those things have nothing to do with FLR or domestic discipline. He’s just trying to make sure I’m healthy.
I have no desire to be on the receiving end of any punishment. That’s Lion’s need. He wants to feel my power. He may not like that actual punishment or the aftermath, but when he really thinks about it, he’s glad I did it. He also likes when I make decisions. For whatever reason, he likes when I decide what’s for dinner. He likes wearing the training collar because he knows he’s powerless. If he makes a mistake, I can zap him right then and there.
I don’t pretend to understand why he wants any of these things done to him; not the spanking, bondage, or butt plugs. Well, I can sort of understand the butt plugs. I’ve had anal sex. It’s nice. I’ve never had a butt plug used on me. I’m not sure how I’d tolerate something up my ass for a long period of time. Lion has swatted me playfully from time to time. Just one swat lightly on the butt. He’s pinched my nipples. Aside from wondering why he was doing it, I had no other reaction. It’s just not something I want.
I don’t think I’m exactly as vanilla as they come. I liked to give Lion blow jobs before he ever introduced spanking and other activities. As I said, I’ve had anal sex. I like being on top when I have any desire for sex. To me, those are all non-vanilla characteristics. And I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have two guys at the same time. Given the fact that I don’t care about sex anymore, I think that dream is dead. Plus, it would make Lion feel horrible. I guess you could argue that a threesome for me would fit right in with my being in control and Lion having to do what I say. But it doesn’t really. Neither of us wants to hurt the other emotionally. A threesome for me would do that even if Lion was one of the participants. Someone else having sex with his wife would be miles across the line. That would not be consensual. [Lion — That’s a hard limit for me.]
Everything I do to Lion is consensual. He has asked for some things in the past that I decided I couldn’t do. Well, yes, I could do them. I wouldn’t want to do them. It’s too far. Perhaps I’ll find something in the future that goes too far for Lion. I think it might be difficult, but I’m sure there are still hundreds of things out there that Lion hasn’t discovered yet. Give him time.
Burns Like Fire
Mrs. Lion’s no-more-light-swats policy has me worried. As she wrote in her post yesterday, she punished me for getting food on my shirt with her heavy wooden spoon, hitting full force. She administered just six swats. Just six swats? It felt like my butt was on fire. That spoon has a very small striking surface and Mrs. Lion is a strong woman. I burned for hours.
Last night I thought I dropped some chicken pot pie on the same shirt. A bit later I couldn’t find any stain. Mrs. Lion told me I just may have dodged the bullet. I sure hoped I did. There is a spot on my right butt cheek that is particularly sensitive. That spoon lights up every nerve ending. She hit it three times; once each time she swatted that cheek.
Those six swats made a strong impression on me. It’s the first time I took a punishment for a food spill seriously. After all, it’s a trivial offense. In the past, the punishment was light, almost fun. Monday night I was genuinely upset. After all, I just got a small spot of marinara sauce on my t-shirt. The last remnant of the game aspect of being spanked burned away in the fire of those six spoon swats.
Last night in the shower I wasn’t sanguine about my request for domestic discipline. Usually, I feel mildly aroused thinking about her ministrations. I soaped my bottom gingerly. There wasn’t any lasting pain there, but just thinking about that spoon hitting my sensitive spot brought back memories of that burn So vivid that I could actually feel it back there.
Truth be told, I can’t remember prior spankings giving me a burning sensation. I suspect it is the result of the very small impact zone of the spoon, combined with a full-force hit. I’ve read accounts of spankings burning like fire. Now I know how that feels. It’s no fun at all.
Last night, when I thought I had gotten some pot pie on my shirt, I was genuinely distressed. I recalled my shower thoughts. Am I out of my mind to want this? After all, I’m a grown man. I don’t want to feel the bite of that spoon. Is a spot of spaghetti sauce worth so much pain? What did I get into? I wondered if Mrs. Lion would go easier if I complained. Do I want to ask her to stop domestic discipline entirely?
If being punished was simply a sexy fantasy I wanted to bring to life, I might have told her that I want to end it. But it’s more than that. Much more.
I have to admit it. I can just charge ahead without consulting Mrs. Lion. She has always been willing to let me, whether what I wanted to do was something she wanted or not. I could interrupt her, make insensitive comments, and change the subject to be about me without her making a peep.
My lioness was too kind to put up any objection or fight. On rare occasions she would stop talking to me. I would have to wheedle out the reason for her anger. This can’t be good for our marriage. So I had the brilliant idea of asking her to adopt FLR and domestic discipline.
I reasoned that she would learn to express her feelings and stop me from just charging thoughtlessly ahead. Besides, the idea of being spanked is a turn on for me. I figured it was a win-win.
Stupid lion!
We’ve been slowly moving in the direction of fully embracing domestic discipline. Rght now it may be for spilling some food. But it won’t be long before I get punished for upsetting her. I am afraid of how that will feel. I better be on my best behavior.
I know what you’re thinking. I should get out now. But I can’t. It’s not because I have no choice. Of course I do. This is consensual, after all. But the price for quitting would be returning to the old patterns. I don’t want that.
Truth be told, aside from spilling food on my shirt, if being punished teaches me to be more careful of her (and others’) feelings, then I will be a better person. So, my vote is for Mrs. Lion to carry on. I’ll just have to be more careful. When I make a mistake, Mrs. Lion will correct me and make sure the lesson will be burnt into me.
No More Light Swats
Lion reminded me about punishment day in the morning. I told him he had nothing on his list and that he was being a very good boy. That lasted about six hours. He spilled tomato sauce on his shirt at dinner. Poor Lion. He’d have punishment after all.
Many of our readers think punishing Lion for such minor infractions is silly. Maybe punishing him for interrupting me is equally ridiculous. In fact, you may not agree with any of our rules. Fair enough. Spilling food and eating before I do were relatively simple rules that I knew Lion would break fairly often. (He also used to be punished when he dropped ice from the ice maker, but the ice maker proved to have a sadistic streak and would throw ice across the room when no one was near it. Dropping ice is no longer an infraction.) The purpose of these rules is to encourage me to be consistent with punishment. Interrupting me was a rule I added because it drives me crazy when he does it.
I’ve gotten pretty good at Lion swats. It seems to me that the swats should be the same severity regardless of the offense. What should change is the number of swats. For example, last night Lion got six swats for spilling food. The swats were as intense as if he had touched my weenie. I’ve decided that if a punishment is worth swats then they shouldn’t be lighter swats for lesser offenses. I think that would send the wrong message. “Oh, Lion. You’ve spilled food which is a silly offense so I’ll give you these mamby pamby swats.” Nope. He needs to feel it afterwards otherwise he won’t take it seriously.
Even after I’d moved on the night’s activities, Lion felt those swats; after I’d unlocked him; after I’d given him a menthol cough drop-laced oral ruined orgasm. Just before bed, he asked if he was bruised. He wasn’t, but I felt like I had done my job if he thought he might be. Score one for Mrs. Lion! He also said he guessed we were done with lighter swats. For punishment, yes. They will be reserved for play now.
Reading More Into It
Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday was about her reaction to reading a page offering help for wives whose husbands want to be spanked. “Advice for Wives” on the “Strict Julie Spanks” blog is what she read. This article is not entirely accurate as the author admits. She spices up her writing to provide masturbatory material for her male readers. I warned Mrs. Lion of that. However, the essence is accurate.
My dear lioness tends to compare herself to the material she reads. That’s why, she says she doesn’t like reading blogs about our interests. I get it. I can see that reading about more extreme spanking could make her feel that she isn’t doing what I asked. I think the big reason she makes these comparisons is that I suggested that she look at the material. Apparently she assumes that I am providing the material as a way to teach her the “right way” to handle me. That’s not the case at all. When I suggest she read something, it is because there is information in the article that might interest her or offer a different perspective.
In the case of the “Advice for Wives” article, I saw a few things I thought might be helpful. For one, Julie makes the point that spanking your husband isn’t necessarily fun at all. In fact, it is most likely something a wife has no interest in doing. She may never learn to enjoy paddling or strapping his butt. She goes on to say that it doesn’t matter if the wife likes it or not. It’s for someone she loves. It doesn’t hurt her and it satisfies an important need of his. That point hit home with me. I always hoped Mrs. Lion would enjoy spanking me. I now know that isn’t necessary or even likely.
Another point I thought would be useful is Julie’s assertion that hitting the bottom and upper thighs isn’t going to really injure the man. It will hurt, especially the upper thighs, but any residual pain is gone in a day or two and marks fade soon after. Mrs. Lion commented that she hated the image of a spanked butt in the article. Me too. But the fact is that the level of marking is really an individual characteristic of each bottom. Some people will bruise if you just look at them hard. Others, like me, rarely turn a dark red. In fact I don’t ever remember that happening. However, I can bruise easily in some spots. The degree of marking is not an indication of the severity of the spanking.
I wanted her to note that the reliable way to know a spanking is truly hitting home (pardon the pun), is to look for other indications. For example, when a spanking has reached the point of being truly memorable, the spankee will begin to sweat. He may or may not produce tears as well. As Julie points out, the tears aren’t really crying in the classic sense. They are a reaction like the perspiration. The number of swats needed to get this reaction are variable by individual. That doesn’t mean I want every spanking to get to the point of sweating or tears. I felt myself starting to sweat during two recent punishments.
The reason I read all this material is that I want to better understand what is happening to me. I would like Mrs. Lion to read as well because I figure that she will get useful input. I think that Mrs. Lion tends to believe she doesn’t do things “right,” especially when it comes to punishing me. She seems to believe that she has to meet what she imagines are my expectations in order to be successful.
It’s reasonable to believe that if she is doing something I want, she should judge the quality of her efforts by what I say about it. Indirectly, if I suggest some reading, it must mean I think she isn’t meeting my expectations. That can’t be further from what I think. I want the opposite. Mrs. Lion is successful when she decides what I get. When it is something new for her, like domestic discipline, she uses my feedback to help her learn. At some point she begins learning on her own what works for her and what makes the desired changes in me.
For a long time the spankings were painful, but not effective in deterring me from repeating an offense. Thanks in part to my reading, that has changed. Mrs. Lion responded to my feedback in a most painful way. It was the right thing for her to do. It works. Does that mean what she was doing before was wrong? Absolutely not! It was an evolutionary step. Mrs. Lion is amazing. She is a great disciplinary wife.
So what does it mean when I ask Mrs. Lion to take some time to read about what we do? As I’ve been saying, it doesn’t mean I think she isn’t doing it correctly. It’s because I want her to get input from other women who do what she is doing. It’s also because I want to retire as her source of information.
