Around and Around We Go
Lion says we don’t fight enough. Presumably, if we fought more, I’d punish him more often. If history has told us anything, it’s that this is not true. I don’t like confrontation. I get even more quiet in a fight. I may stick up for myself for a bit, but then I get quiet. Years of fighting with my ex left me with one conclusion – I am wrong. Well, two conclusions – I also hate fighting.
Yes, I can eliminate fighting if I just whip out a paddle and show him who’s boss. “All I have to do”, you say. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Yup. Sure. Lion even says I should feel better after I punish him. So far I’ve been concentrating on spanking him correctly – hitting him in all the right spots while avoiding the wrong spots. I haven’t really thought about what he’s done and the fact that he’s paying for it. Somehow I think that will make me feel worse.
I guess we’ll find out tonight. I’m supposed to punish Lion for stomping all over me while I made iced tea last night. I was going to do it one way but his way was better. He was sure of it. He had no idea how I was going to do it, but he was right. And this morning he wrote a comment to my post from yesterday. It sounded like he was trying to justify being snarky. The thing is, he wasn’t wrong. I am inconsistent. But it made me feel bad and he’s supposed to pay for making me feel bad. Even if I feel worse doing it. I remain unconvinced. Obviously.
He feels bad for making me feel bad. I told him I need to grow a pair. He says my feeling bad for punishing him is all part of growing a pair. This reminds me of the other day when he was mad at me for being mad at him. And then I was mad at him for being mad at me for being mad at him. It’s all very circular reasoning. Around and around we go.
Secret Domination
You may be wondering about me wearing panties and diapers. Both seem like rather exotic kinks and not necessarily related to enforced male chastity or domestic discipline. Do I have a secret need to be a baby or a woman? Absolutely not! Then why do it? Why write about it?
I’ll give you a hint. If I wanted to wear diapers or panties, Mrs. Lion wouldn’t put me into them. I know what you are thinking. Why did Lion suggest Mrs. Lion use panties and diapers?
Fair question. I want to feel Mrs. Lion’s power. She is in the beginning stages of learning to be dominant with me. She exercises her power in fits and bursts. Her role hasn’t become natural to her. Panty and diaper training are fairly easy to do and affect me as long as I wear them. It would never have occurred to Mrs. Lion to put me into either.
If you’re a guy, you probably wince when you picture yourself in a wet diaper. I do too. Wearing panties all day probably has a similar effect. Starting to see where this is going? Let’s consider a scenario. You are put in an adult diaper; actually disposable underwear. That’s what they call grownup pull-ups. When at home, you have to use the diaper to pee. You also have to use it if you are not at work. Sooner or later, you will pee while out shopping or something. You will have to wait until you get home to change it. Not fun. Right? Submissive? For sure!
That’s the point. You are doing something because your partner required you to do it. She can even make you wear it to work. Now, it would be pretty hard for me to change myself and dispose of the used diaper at the office. I could, but that might take things to a level I’m not ready to reach. But I could be required to wear one and pull it down to pee. that works without any serious danger of discovery. The thing is, I can’t not be aware I am in a diaper. I am constantly aware of Mrs. Lion’s power.
It’s not quite the same with panties. I am very aware of them when I am told to put them on or when I am wearing nothing but the panties around the house. But once I have pants on, I am only aware of them when I need to use the bathroom. Then, I am sharply reminded of who’s the boss.
There’s a theme here. I am being made to wear underwear I would never wear on my own. I am being made to wear them all day; sometimes all night too. Discovery would be horribly humiliating. Lots of risk. Oh boy! Exciting and very submissive! It has nothing to do with cross dressing. It’s all about obedience.
The real value of panty or diaper training is that it provides a long-term, humiliating form of domination without much input at all from the dominant partner. Both diapers and panties are inexpensive and humiliating ways to dominate your partner. By the way, even if you don’t have to use it, it’s impossible to forget you are wearing a diaper.
Only you and your partner know that under your clothes you are being secretly dominated. I think that’s a big turn on.
Getting Priorities Straight
Lion has been a little snarky lately. It comes in conjunction with grumblings that I haven’t been consistent or “enough” in the play and FLR departments. Initially these seem like attacks to me. I think I’m doing well and suddenly I’m not. I mean, I know I’m not as strong as he wants me to be and maybe he’s just frustrated that I’m not progressing as quickly as he’d like. I know he needs a stronger hand than I am giving him, but I’m just not there yet.
It’s easy to say he needs to just suck it up and deal with it. 2.0 would. But she hasn’t been around much lately. For my part, I’m trying to deal with panties and punishment and corner time and anal play and everything else I “should” be doing. Lion is a full time job all by himself. Here I am, trying to work him in around other things like laundry and other chores. How silly of me!
I wonder sometimes how he would react if I suddenly became 2.0, or 2.5 for that matter, all the time. Within reason, of course. He’d still be autonomous in the areas he’s autonomous in now. But his ass would be mine in the other areas. Does he want to be my bitch, as Julie calls her husband? Does he want me to order him to do things? Does he want a bruised and bloody butt from punishment? Does he want me to dig a three-inch stiletto into his balls? Actually, I think a part of him does. (Not his balls in the case of the stilettos.) At least he thinks he wants to. I’m not sure what would happen if he got his wish. I guess I need to double down and give Lion what he thinks he wants. My baby steps don’t seem sufficient.
Today, for example, Lion is working from home. Last night I told him I wanted him in his hip hugger panties today. He had the choice of color. This morning he sent me a picture to prove he’s wearing them. He said they’re falling down. I told him we’d have to get him more panties because if they fall down they’re pretty useless. It doesn’t matter so much when he’s home but he can’t wear them anywhere because he has enough trouble keeping his jeans up without having to worry about his panties falling down.
He seemed somewhat excited that we’d be shopping for more. So much so that he’s off and running, looking for panties online and sending me links to what he’s found. Sheesh! Since when did “we’ll” look for more turn into “you” should look for more? Since it’s Lion. I told him I wasn’t ready to decide yet and I’d look when I get home. A line in the sand. I don’t do that often.
Perhaps it’s me that just needs to suck it up. Rather than be hurt by his grumblings that I should be doing more, I’ll take his advice and actually do more. He’d love/hate that. Let’s see how long it is before he grumbles that I’m doing too much.
First Day of Spring
Mrs. Lion, still naked after her shower, walked into the bathroom and came out with a bottle of lube in her hand.
“Are you going to do it?,” I asked.
“Yes. I’m going to try.”
She moved her left hand between her legs. “Interesting,” I thought. “I used to jerk off with my left hand.”
I waited about a minute and then ordered, “Alexa, 25% bedroom.” The lights dimmed to a romantic glow.
“Alexa, play romantic music.”
Alexa replied, “Playing romantic music from the 2000’s” It is nice that I can give orders to something. Music of the 2ooo’s? Yeesh!
I caressed Mrs. Lion’s breast. My right arm doesn’t go too far since the surgery. I could only reach her right one. I massaged her side and gently moved toward her pubic hair.
After a few minutes she said in a somewhat apologetic voice, “This takes a long time.”
I worried she was ready to quit. “It takes a long time when I give you an orgasm. There’s no rush, we have all night.”
Mrs. Lion didn’t respond. Her hand kept moving. Good sign.
Another few minutes and there was a change. Mrs. Lion was somewhere else. She moved into a world of her own. I knew she would succeed. I also wondered who was making love to her in that private world of pleasure. Was it me? I hoped so.
Whatever signaled me that she had withdrawn from our space, also prompted an erection for me. I could feel the pressure in the chastity device. The root of my penis outside the cage was hard. I wanted sex! Oh yes, she was on the way.
I think that quiet energy is the sign she is in deep heat. She was ready to be entered.
Her hand worked steadily.
Another few minutes passed with her body completely still; the only activity her hand moving between her legs.
Then it happened. First a guttural grunt. More quiet. Then that wonderful song she sings when she comes. It started then stopped. A few seconds later, it was back. She sang in full voice as her orgasm overcame her.
She sighed contentedly. She remained still for a while, then we talked. I asked her how she felt. She was happy. It felt very good. I asked her how long it’s been since she came this way before. She said it had been a very long time. It was a little odd that there was no kiss for me. She was still bathed in the glow of her trip to the top. I guess it wasn’t me who was with her there.
I was still hard inside my cage. I needed release too. She made a move to unlock me and give me a turn. I told her that she doesn’t have to do that. This is her night to just enjoy her orgasm. I didn’t need to take away from that.
I admit it. I was a little grumpy. I wanted to go to the top too. But that would be selfish. It was her night. She’s given me plenty of fun. She deserves to focus on herself this time.
A little later, she said she was sore down “there”. She said the lube wore off. I asked her if she remembered me telling her to put a couple of fingers inside. She was past hearing me at the time. When I reminded her I told her that, she said that she didn’t feel like it. I pointed out that I insert fingers not just to further excite her but also to bring natural lube up to her clit. She said that she had the bottle of lube. The lube wears off and gets sticky. Her juices never do that.
I smiled. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who could learn by watching her.
Of course, that’s not the point. Mrs. Lion gave herself an orgasm for the first time in many years. I hope this is the harbinger of her libido awakening. Spring may be coming at last.
