Behind The Magic Of Male Chastity
My view of chastity devices has changed radically over the last four years. When I first started writing for this blog in 2014, I thought of the male chastity device as a tool for female domination. It took away my ability to have an orgasm unless Mrs. Lion unlocked me. That was a hot, but naive perspective. I wrote about my amazement that men always originated the idea of enforced chastity. I should clarify that to mean the locked male starts things off.
I rationalized this by claiming that since enforced chastity is consensual, the potentially caged male is the logical initiator. I couldn’t be more wrong.
Generally, women don’t spend very much time thinking of their partner’s penis. It’s just not top-of-mind for them. If they think about it at all, they think about how it is used sexually. Flaccid penises aren’t all that interesting to either sex.
The fantasy is that the woman wants her male caged so she can be sure his penis isn’t involved in any sexual activity without her direct permission and supervision. The chastity device assures this. That does sound reasonable. It isn’t.
What that says is that women don’t trust their partners to keep their hands and weenies to themselves. The key is trust. Why would a woman marry a man she can’t trust? Well, it’s true that a percentage of me (and women) cheat and have sex with others. Often discovery of this indiscretion ends the relationship. If he cheated, does locking his cock in a chastity device provide a way to stay together?
Some guys claim it does. But, of course, it doesn’t. It comes down to trust. For her to stay in the relationship after sexual betrayal, there have to be many good reasons. It could be that she doesn’t want to break up the family, loves him enough to forgive him, etc. It’s never that he lets her lock his cock up so he can’t cheat. She needs to trust that he won’t do it again.
As you probably know, the standard chastity device can be escaped. Even with a piercing to lock it on, a determined guy can get out. Most of us who wear them carry an emergency key to get it off if necessary. That makes sense because the device is on your penis because you want it there. You asked to be locked up. Your partner realized it would make you happy to wear it. She (or he) is happy to let you believe you’re wearing it to assure that you adhere to a power exchange. I believed that for a long time.
I never tried to take mine off. I was the one who wanted it there. Mrs. Lion plays the game because she knows I like it. Since my surgery, I’ve been wild (not locked in a device). Initially, it was because sitting to pee was too difficult for me to manage with an injured shoulder. Later, I came to the realization that my adherence to enforced male chastity has nothing to do with the device. It’s about my obedience to Mrs. Lion’s wishes.
I’m not allowed to masturbate. There are no exceptions to that rule. Mrs. Lion has been very clear that she considers masturbation as a form of infidelity. It turns out that this rule has nothing to do with any desire I may have about being controlled. It’s something she is very serious about and has nothing to do with submission or chastity. She trusts me to obey it. The last time I masturbated was in early January 2014 when she had me jerk off while she watched. That was it, the end, finito.
I remain wild. Mrs. Lion or I can change that at any time. She may lock me up because she decides it will be more fun for me if I am caged. I may ask her to do it again for the same reason. I know she has said she will lock me up for punishment. I am very sure she said that because she thought the idea would be exciting for me.
There’s nothing wrong with asking to be locked up and then living the hot-to-me-at-least fantasy of being locked in a chastity device. If your partner is willing to be part of that, you are lucky. It’s even fine to actually believe that she wants you caged and under sexual domination. That’s super hot for me. But I think it is important to recognize the underlying truth too. All this penis stuff tends to be male in origin and practice. Our partners participate out of a desire to make us happy.
It is Work
Lion has asked me, at various points along our journey, if I like edging him or if it’s just a chore. Last night, as I was edging him, I came up with a better answer: Yes. I like edging him and it’s a chore. Not a chore in the sense that vacuuming or doing the dishes is a chore but it is work.
Think about it. I have to provide the right grip at the right speed at the right time. I have to watch for clues that signal an impending orgasm so I can slow down or speed up or stop suddenly. I have to tickle his balls or massage them or grab them at the right time to get the desired effect. And then, when I do stop short, I have to decide when to start again and which grip and speed to use. This is assuming I’m doing things by hand. By mouth is even trickier because I can’t see his face easily.
I was also thinking about how much I like giving him this pleasure that stops just short of being orgasm pleasure. As much as he has to fool himself into thinking this time is it, he’ll get to come and won’t that be great! I have to fool him into thinking it too. In my mind, I’d have a harder time getting him to the edge if I told him ahead of time he wasn’t going to go all the way. I may be wrong, given his post, but I think it’s better to have him think he’ll make it than to take away all hope from the outset.
There may be some days that it seems like more work than others. If he’s having a difficult time getting hard or he’s hard but I can’t quite get him to the edge, then I wonder what I’m doing wrong. Is it not the right grip at the right speed at the right time? Maybe my mouth is sore or my neck is aching. Do I stop? Is he close just as I’m ready to quit? I don’t like to stop unless I ask if he’s ready to stop. I’m not going to give up but I don’t want to annoy him by continuing when he doesn’t feel he can.
Yes, I like it and yes, it’s work. But if you do what you love then you never work a day in your life.
Defining Sex For Me
One thing most any guy believes is that sex for him is complete when he ejaculates. Those of us practicing enforced chastity may have a very different idea. We don’t ejaculate most of the time we have sex. A small number of us ejaculate only a couple of times a year. Ejaculation is generally regarded as the major part of the male orgasm. “Ruined” orgasms, as some call them, are actual orgasms that occur prior to completion of ejaculation. More on that later.
By my reckoning, I am teased to the edge of orgasm about 25 times before I actually get to ejaculate. The real number is probably larger. But even with that ratio, I get to ejaculate 4 percent of the times I am at the edge. So 96 percent of my sexual experience does not include what we think of as an orgasm. Each of those non-ejaculatory experiences carries my strongest hope that this time I will get over the hill and ejaculate. That’s why it’s called edging.
Does that mean I feel frustrated 96 percent of the time? Do I really believe I will get to ejaculate each time I am edged? That would be crazy. I know full well that no matter how excited I get and how much I want this time to be the one, that I won’t be ejaculating. The truth is I like being edged. It’s the male equivalent of multiple orgasms. There is no refractory time between one edging and the next. When she gets going, Mrs. Lion can edge me six or eight times in a single minute.
A lot of guys like to pretend this isn’t fun. Of course it is. It’s amazing in its own way. To truly enjoy it, I have to stop believing the goal of sex for me is ejaculation. It’s not. For many guys, this new sex includes pleasuring their partners. It’s all about everything sexual except ejaculation. Can a man learn that ejaculation isn’t necessary for his sexual pleasure? I am sure he can. I can.
I love our edging sessions. On more than one occasion when Mrs. Lion let me ejaculate, I mentioned that I thought it was too soon. I think she considered me ungrateful for saying such a thing. I’m not. But I really love the repeated peaks I reach when edged over and over. She, and many other women, believe a male can’t have “complete” sex without ejaculation. We can.
Don’t get me wrong. I love to ejaculate too. But I think it is wrong to consider all those other experiences as something less. They’re not. They’re just different.
A Little Whine With Your Dinner?
Mrs. Lion put in hours and hours trying to clear dust away in my office and our bedroom. I’m hoping it will make the difference. Sadly, I can’t help. The very stuff I am allergic to gets kicked up during cleaning. A couple of years ago, I used the rug cleaner in our bedroom. I barely got done with the carpet when I had to use a rescue inhaler to breathe. I’m very grateful my lioness is willing to do all this work for my sake.
Until the itching skin, swollen eyes, stuffy nose, and sneezing stop, I can’t even begin to think about anything else. We did go out to dinner last night. That was fun and a welcome relief from the allergies. I also had physical therapy today that included a visit from my surgeon. I’m happy to report that I am making good progress with my shoulder. It’s been six months since the surgery. I’m just up to exercise with a two-pound weight. It will be another six months before I will be anywhere near normal again.
As you might imagine, sex is the last thing on my mind. I am also completely uninterested in being spanked. I am working very hard to avoid breaking any rules. So, for now I am out of commission. However, after Mrs. Lion doing a thorough cleaning and the dog getting a bath, I could be much improved tomorrow.
If so, I may have a much more interesting post tomorrow.
