Male Chastity Journal

It’s been over a month that I am living in my cage. Over that time, I have been wild for one full day and a couple of nights.  Most of the time when I am dressed, I am not consciously aware of my captivity. But some of my most basic male instincts remind me on a regular basis. I have always enjoyed seeing a nice female ass. It’s not that my mouth drops open in wonder, but I like the view. When I see one now, I remember my cage and my interest is strongly diminished. This is really odd. I never had any interest in trying to have sex with the women that caught my attention. But I did feel a pleasant twinge. Now, the twinge is gone and my interest can only be described as academic.

This is massively irrational. My reaction to a visual stimulus that never had any chance of turning into anything real has literally turned off just because my penis is locked up. My hormones are still working. Mrs. Lion has little trouble getting me to stand at attention. Something has changed. I could explain this more easily if before being caged I actually chased females who attracted me. But I didn’t. I really liked looking, but I have never had an inclination to go further. In short, nothing has changed except my cage.

How can a little cage on my weenie modify behavior? There are male fantasy stories of men, when locked up magically find themselves submissive slaves of their keyholders. That, of course, is just fantasy. My change is subtle. I suspect that it is caused by the fact that now I know I couldn’t actually do anything even if I wanted. There is a big gap between “won’t” and “can’t”. I used to live in the world of “won’t.” Now I simply can’t.

This is profound. I am experiencing a true loss of control. No woman would have sex with me even if I could pry my penis out of its cage. She would know I was doing something wrong. I might be able to masturbate, but it is simply more trouble than it is worth. Mrs. Lion has full control of my ability to have sex. I knew this, of course, when I asked her to lock me up. But there is a big difference between knowing and internalizing. It took a while, but now I have fully internalized the implications of having my penis in a cage.

I am pretty sure that Mrs. Lion doesn’t realize how profound this is. How could she? Female sexuality is so different. The key is that I remember she can’t realize what this means to me. I love it when she teases me. I am careful to let her know how much I like it. It’s hard for her to internalize that I like her making me suffer by being horny without the possibility of release. Forced chastity is all about those frustrations. It’s fun for me up to a point. Of course, when I reach that point nothing changes. I will just have to manage sexual frustration and like it. I’ll try. I have no choice.

Too much sex? Impossible! Well, maybe given my recent captivity that is my not-so-sad situation. Over the last decade, Mrs. Lion has learned to read my not very subtle signals. When I am horny, I tend to “scooch” over on the bed to get closer to her. I may also paw her more than usual. She generally laughs when I do it and teases me about needing something. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my sexual timing is pretty predictable. Around three days after coming, I get restless and clearly horny. Last night I hit that point.

I scooched. Mrs. Lion responded with amazing oral sex. She has committed to being more active in my chastity. I think she is also trying hard to respond to my “needs”. As a result, I am concerned that maybe I am indirectly demanding sex I shouldn’t be getting. Am I calling the shots? What about tease and deny? These questions keep running through my head.

We didn’t start caging me to see how long I could go without squirting. At least I didn’t. I wanted Mrs. Lion to control at least the sexual use of my penis. I want her to decide what satisfaction I get. I also want to play with tease and denial. But that’s what I want. My strongest wish is that I do what she wants.

This sets up a serious dilemma: If I just leave things to her, I am indirectly pressuring her to take full control of a situation she may not feel ready to assume. If I suggest things in my lion-like way, I am topping from the bottom. When we discuss this, she generally responds with, “I will do better,” which suggests that she thinks I am being critical of her lion taming. This is a lose/lose situation.

There is only one way to work our way out of this: we need to keep talking. I need to keep reinforcing how much I appreciate what she is doing for and to me. How even though I may “hate” being so frustrated, having my butt smacked, or being forced to spend my weekend in diapers, I really appreciate that she is doing all this because it is “good for me,” and ultimately, us.

The fact is, she is doing a wonderful job as a beginner. She is learning quickly and I am deeply grateful for her willingness to meet this need. I love Mrs. Lion more every day.

One of the most complained about aspects of forced chastity is the nocturnal discomfort that wakes us up several times a night. This is usually caused by an involuntary erection. The cage makes the attempt to get hard painful enough to wake us from a sound sleep. Over time, the number of times we are awakened tends to go down, but supposedly never disappears entirely.

For some reason, the Chinese cage I am wearing now (waiting for my Jail Bird to arrive) is amazingly comfortable. I am largely unaware that I am caged. The only clue I have is that I don’t feel the pressure of my underwear against my penis. The bars keep it “free” and it is a very pleasant sensation. The cock ring is so comfortable I don’t know it is there. At night, however, if I roll over, one of my balls may end up under my leg since they are forced forward by the cock ring. When that happens I wake up and make a quick adjustment.  Erections rarely wake me up. When they do, it isn’t uncomfortable. I think I wake up because I like the feeling.

Today I am at the point where I really feel the need to get off. This seems to happen three or four days after my last stimulation. If Mrs. Lion does nothing tonight, I will be grumpy tomorrow and the next day. If she teases me tonight, I will continue being very horny and possibly grumpy too. I’m not sure, but I think she knows this and will probably arrange to let me “stretch” tonight and stimulate me close to orgasm before returning her toy to its cage. It seems that she still thinks this is cruel. I try to convince her that in one sense it is, but in a much more important sense, it is the whole point of locking me up. Just writing about it is turning me on.

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