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In: Spanking

When I was making dinner, really just heating up pizza from the night before, I noticed the coffee pot still in the dish drainer. Uh oh. Lion forgot. Would he be getting a punishment spanking instead of a “just because” spanking? There’s really no difference between them, except the knowledge that he’s earned the punishment spanking. The what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this feeling is there, I assume, for both. I won’t say there’s no reason for the “just because” spanking. He’s asked me to punish him and we both still need the practice. However, when he’s done something wrong to be punished. I guess it’s the difference between a cop pulling you over when you have no idea what you’ve done versus knowing you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t have been doing. You’ll get a ticket either way, but one makes more sense than the other.

We tried maintenance spanking in the past. It was somewhere between a play spanking and a punishment spanking. There really wasn’t any need for ferocious swats. He hadn’t done anything wrong. But it wasn’t exactly play either. It was supposed to be more severe, but not too severe. It didn’t work out very well. I didn’t see the need to spank him for no reason. I think it sent mixed signals. And it wasn’t very effective for either of us.

Lion proposed supplemental spankings if he hadn’t earned any punishment in a while. These spankings would be as severe as punishment. For him, they serve as a reminder. If he’s getting too lax, it should bring him back to the straight and narrow. For me, they are practice. I’m still new to such severe spankings. I may tend to give him lighter swats until I’m conditioned. We’re both learning. I need to reach a point that I’m giving him swats he’ll try to avoid by not breaking the rules. And, ironically, he needs to be reminded of what happens if he happens to break one. It may seem counterintuitive, but so far, it works.

Will he reach a point that he needs no more reminders because he’s such a good boy? I don’t know. If he does, does that mean he needs more rules? Will I reach a point that I am an expert with a paddle? I really doubt it. There’s always a chance I’ll regress. Even pro athletes need practice.

By the way, around 10 he toddled out to put the coffee pot together and saved his butt.

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In: Oral Sex, Spanking

Yesterday, we searched for a sport coat for Lion to wear to my son’s wedding. We found one at a clearance price, and the store does alterations. I was positive we’d be going from store to store, not finding anything Lion wanted and wind up spending a fortune on something he didn’t really like. As Lion said, he only has to wear it once. I would have felt horrible having to spend a lot on something that will only be used once. We completely lucked out at the first store. [Lion — I wasn’t looking for a bargain, just something the right weight that looked good. We selected a large men’s store. I assumed they would have the best selection and offer alterations. I expected to pay a few hundred dollars for the jacket. I always have spent that in the past. The salesmen showed me a sports jacket that fit and looked OK. Since I didn’t plan to wear it much, it seemed fine. The price on the tag was reasonable, about $180. When he told us that it was marked down to only $59, I was shocked. Mrs. Lion was happy. With alterations, we ended up spending a lot less than we thought we would. Pretty cool!]

My back is still sore. However, I am fairly certain I can give Lion some attention tonight. I have to be careful about how I move. That may sound bad, but as long as I don’t twist too much, I’m fine. I think the biggest problem is the bed and the way I lay in it. I have to either be flat or sitting up. I can’t be leaning back. Halfway is no good. Slouched definitely doesn’t work. I think that’s why I’m okay all day at work as long as I pivot my whole body rather than twisting. Getting in and out of the car and sometimes making turns, if I’m not careful, tweak it too.

We’ll have to try it to know for sure, but I think I can suck Lion tonight. I know he isn’t super horny, but I’d like to try. I’m not sure snuggling will work, but face down on the bed should. Facedown on a Lion is nice. Unfortunately, I don’t think I can do a “just because” spanking yet. That would be too much bending and twisting. I’m sure I can make an exception if he does something that warrants punishment. Otherwise, I’ll take it easy for a while.

Lion both wants and doesn’t want a “just because” spanking. He knows it will do both of us good. He’d rather not feel it during or after. I can sort of sympathize with his inability to find a comfortable sitting position. My back hurts because I did something stupid somewhere along the line. Lion’s butt also hurts when he does something stupid.  The difference is that I have no idea what I did to deserve my pain. That’s not the case with Lion.

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In: Spanking

Mrs. Lion’s back is still giving her trouble. We’ve had to call an audible on play or sex. That’s not a problem for me. It’s only been five days since my last ejaculation. Sure, I’m horny. So What! Mrs. Lion’s health and comfort has to come first. I am perfectly happy to wait until she feels better.

By the way, Kelly Lyon has a new website. Take a look, it’s pretty. Kelly also has a presence on Facebook and Twitter. Of course, there is an Amazon author page too. If you want to review Fan Mail, Just drop me an email in Contact Us and I’ll send you a free Kindle edition. Also, if you want to be a beta reader of the next book Hacked!, let me know and you’ll get a free pre-publication copy. All I want in return are your comments and suggestions. Free summer reading! It means a lot to me if you will take the time to do this; even better if you buy the book! Enough from the shameless, self-promotion department.

It may hurt, but it is an expression of Mrs. Lion’s love.

This seems to be one of those times when my sex drive is working properly again. Ironic, huh? Still, it doesn’t matter. My lioness needs to feel better before I’ll feel good about receiving her attention. I know she wants to give me a just-because spanking. It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen the business end of her paddle. As she wrote in her post yesterday,

“I’ll have to do a just because spanking soon. I can’t let him forget what it feels like to be punished. And I can’t let myself forget how to do it well. Practice makes perfect.”

It seems that we both feel the need to refresh our disciplinary activities. We both resisted the concept of maintenance spankings, but we’ve learned that there is real wisdom behind that concept. I need it because the memory of how much I hate a spanking fades after a couple of weeks. What’s left is the sexually arousing spanking fantasies. When that starts, I need to be reminded how unhappy I get when Mrs. Lion spanks me. The idea turns me on right now. I know that means I’m due.

It’s possible that Mrs. Lion benefits more than me. Being a disciplinary wife is difficult. It took a lot of years for Mrs. Lion to get where she is now. There is nothing intuitive about her role. Delivering an adult spanking that makes a strong impression takes practice. It’s more than an exercise in using paddles on a bare bottom. It takes emotional resolve. The goal of a disciplinary spanking is to deliver as much pain as possible for ten or more minutes. It’s to leave me sufficiently bruised so that I feel the fruits of her efforts every time I sit for days afterward.

That’s not easy to do. Mrs. Lion has worked hard to deliver that sort of spanking. She’s well on her way. As she said in that post,

” Practice makes perfect. If that’s true, I bet Lion doesn’t want me to be perfect. I need too much practice”

It’s true that each time she “practices” I suffer. That’s the idea. Since I asked her to be my disciplinary wife, that’s the price I have to pay for the privilege. Actually, as we’ve discovered, I need her to practice frequently too. The obvious question is, what is the maximum time between spankings? Assuming I don’t do anything to earn one, it seems that two weeks seems to be the longest for me. I think Mrs. Lion may need to deliver a spanking more frequently than that. If my memory serves, we were happiest and most productive when I received at least one a week.

Those were times when I was spilling on my shirt and eating first fairly often. I was being punished frequently. The more often I earned punishment, the more observant Mrs. Lion became. her demeanor also changed. She was very definite when it was time for me to be spanked. It isn’t that she isn’t now, just that when she was very active she brought out the paddle and told me to get into position with no thought of getting my reaction. Nowadays, she seems ready for me to tell her that I don’t want a spanking just then. She’s willing to postpone my punishment.  When I was frequently offending, she wasn’t interested in whether or not I was ready to be paddled. She was ready and that’s all that mattered.

I didn’t like it at the time, but I like it in principle. She’s in charge and if she wants to spank me for any reason, it’s my job to present my bare bottom. Period. That’s the way it has to be. Since I get spanked more infrequently, I appear to bleed more. The bleeding isn’t due to injury. I think it is just that my skin sometimes cracks a bit. I think a small band-aid will stop me from making a mess. Other guys have mentioned that they also bleed. Some say that over time that stops. That’s another reason for more practice, I guess. As Mrs. Lion says, practice makes perfect.

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In: Domestic discipline, Spanking

When reading and writing sex blogs, it’s way too easy to compartmentalize our various kinks. Sex and the various ways we play with it are considered in isolation. Maybe it is the only way to discuss the subject sensibly. For example, we write about spanking. We discuss how to spank a husband. We write about how I earn punishment. You see the visible results of my spankings. I know this is arousing and perhaps useful. It isn’t close to the whole story.

If I went to a professional dominant to be spanked, we would have a simple transaction: I pay her, and she spanks my bottom. She would satisfy a sexual need. There is nothing beyond the act itself. Yes, we might act out a fantasy. I could be a naughty schoolboy or an errant husband. But, in the end, it is a very simple transaction.

There is nothing simple about Mrs. Lion spanking me. It could be a BDSM scene, which wouldn’t be much different from the pay-to-play experience. Lots of couples do that. Since our arrangement is consensual, you could argue that we are also doing BDSM scenes. In a sense, we are. I break a rule and get spanked. The trigger is the rule. Yup that could be BDSM. It isn’t, at least not entirely.

It all has to do with motive. Spanking has sexual value to me. Even disciplinary spanking is arousing to think about. If my need was sexual, I would intentionally break the rules to trigger a spanking. I don’t. First of all, if Mrs. Lion thought I was getting in trouble to provoke a spanking, I’m sure she would find a more unpleasant way to punish me. Except for her “just because” spankings, I’m being punished as part of an effort to help me change my behavior.

In a sense, the “just because” spankings are BDSM to meet a sexual need. Actually, the reason we need them is much more complex. We’ve learned that our disciplinary relationship has to be a habit. If I don’t receive regular spankings, Mrs. Lion tends to overlook infractions of her rules. She gets out of the habit of observing and punishing my offenses. Regular spankings help to keep us both on our toes.

“Just because” spankings remind me how unpleasant it is to be punished. If too much time goes by between punishments, I tend to forget the pain and only remember the sexual feelings. That’s why all of my spankings have to severe. They have to overcome my sexual attraction to spanking and make me sorry I earned them. My sexual attraction to being spanked motivates me to get into position for my beating. Mrs. Lion’s severe, ten-minute long spanking makes me very sorry I needed her disciplinary attention.

I’m not unique. This complex set of motives and responses seems to be true of most couples practicing domestic discipline. The disciplined spouse wants to be held accountable and be punished as needed. The disciplinary spouse agrees to do this primarily because her husband asks. That’s how it started with us. Over time, it became more of a habit, and Mrs. Lion found value in being able to help improve my behavior. It started with my request. Over time domestic discipline has taken on a life of its own. I’m very happy it is part of our lives.