By:
In: Edging, Lion's Journal, Sex

Once upon a time, a long time ago when I was innocent and thought it was kinky to have oral sex, I came across a book that changed my life: The Joy Of Sex by Alex Comfort. Tucked near the end in a section called “Sauces and Pickles” was the description of Slow Masturbation For Him:

“To make this work you need to know how to tie your partner and to have a partner who likes struggling against resistance, but it works for a great many people. Traditionally, the woman does this to the man, but it plays in either direction. You need good access and a completely helpless partner, though you can try it without if bondage turns you off, but the result is quite different and you can’t get so far. The knack lies in playing on your partner like an instrument, alternately pushing him forard and frustrating them.

“The woman starts by tying the man to her satisfaction, either staked out, or wrists behind and ankles crossed, knees open, naked, and on his back. …She has two focal points to attend to, his mouth and his penis, and the knack during the warm-up period, consists in keeping both occupied continuously and without triggering ejaculation. The possibilities are obvious — hand to each, hand to one mouth or pussy to the other; varied by a touch of her breasts, her armpit, or even her hair. Between the two poles she will work over his most sensitive areas with her fingertips, her tongue, and her pussy — this last with one hand on his penis and other palm over is mouth, never letting the rhythm slacken. If his erection begins to go down, she stops, tightens him up, then re-stiffens him. She can now begin slow masturbation proper.

“This is about the most mind-blowing (and, while it lasts, frustrating) sexual sensation of which most males are capable. (If you want to know why we say start by tying your lover, try it for a few moments with an unbound partner.) She sits well up on his chest, with her buttocks to his chin, and puts each of her ankles  inside the crook of one of his knees, or sits with her knees bent and her calves tucked under his arms. She should hold the root of his penis with one hand and with the other pull the skin back as far as it will go with finger and thumb, thumb towards her. Then she starts quick, nervous strokes — each one quick, that is, but timed at one per second, no faster. After about twenty of these, about  ten very quick strokes. Then she resumes the slow rhythm. And so on. [Note: Comfort clearly never tried this himself. The hand that does the stroking must be well lubed or the experience will just be painful.]

“If she thinks he is about to ejaculate (you can sense this with practice), she should drop the speed and keep this up as long as she thinks he can stand it.”

That short (there is more in the book, but this is the part that got to me) section changed me sexually. Before reading this, I had never considered being tied up. In fact, I had no idea that people did things like that. Reading Comfort’s description, I could feel myself spread-eagle and a woman’s hands on my penis. I dreamed about this regularly for years. When I finally talked a partner into trying this with me, it was amazing, if unsuccessful. She didn’t hold me on the edge. She couldn’t read my signs.

Now, decades later, almost every other day, Mrs. Lion edges me. She brings me to the frustrating edge of orgasm as many times as she wants. I’m not tied down and generally, she stays a dozen or so strokes short of ruined orgasm. Also, she doesn’t practice the technique Comfort described in his book. It really doesn’t matter.

That short bit of text in a groundbreaking book about sex changed me forever. This was no  small change. It awakened a beast that has never since slept. Everything else: spanking, chastity, anal play, pain, and lots  more. My ex-wife’s horror at tying me up or spanking me is one of the contributing causes of our divorce. Sex is a powerful force.

I remain amazed that this single quote was (and is, actually) so powerful to me. How many of us can trace the absolute source of our kinks to a single event? So much of us evolves over many years. But this single short section of a book transformed me sexually. It’s turned out to be a happy transformation.

As Mrs. Lion mentioned in her post yesterday, we saw the movie “Sex Tape” last night. The main premise is a couple making a sex tape by acting out all of the stuff in The Joy of Sex. That’s what got me thinking about slow masturbation. Have you tried this?

By:
In: diapers, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Panties, Sex, Underwear

Yesterday, Mrs. Lion wrote about our different points of view (post). We really don’t have a very different view of things. I suggested that while Mrs. Lion had her sexual training wheels and is getting her libido back, it would be a good idea that I stay locked while I gave her orgasms. I want to make sure she isn’t thinking about reciprocating. I want her focused on her own pleasure.

She wrote that she would like us to come together, or at least close together. I want that too, very badly. I hope it will happen once she has recovered her interest. As a practical matter, I will always get far fewer orgasms than she. It would be a giant treat to come with her. I know other keyholders and their males have delightful sex together. I am very hopeful we will too in the not-to-distant future. Speaking of the future, Mrs. Lion’s next scheduled orgasm is January 2nd. We will have a very hot New Year. I am due both New Year’s eve and New Year’s day. Mrs. Lion is the day after. That’s really great.

There has been talk in these pages about Mrs. Lion painting my toe nails, putting me back in diapers, and perhaps panties on non-diaper days. Because I mention these things, Mrs. Lion asked me if it is because I want them. That’s a tough question. I never saw myself with painted toe nails or wearing panties, but the thought has an element of excitement for me.

Mrs. Lion said she will definitely be doing my toe nails. She hasn’t so far. I really hate anticipating things that I am not sure I will like. It’s hard to explain. I guess it is like a punishment. It feels way worse waiting for it than just getting it done. Also, there is that little tingle of excitement.

I know this isn’t strictly chastity, and you may find this diversion uninteresting or even a turn off. For me it is forward movement in sexual control. It is physical evidence that I can’t ignore. It’s also totally irrational. I don’t get it; well more precisely, I don’t get how all this makes me feel. Are these hidden kinks that are emerging now? I suppose they could be. I just don’t know. But, as part of my decision to share everything with you, I guess you will end up reading about this new stuff too.

This new stuff might be puzzling Mrs. Lion. Am I becoming even more difficult to understand? Do these kinks drive her away or repel her? I don’t think she would tell me if they do. I’m just a mess of uncertainty and uncomfortable anticipation. Stay tuned.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Sex

If you have been keeping up with us, Mrs. Lion decided to schedule her orgasms in much the same way she schedules mine — hopefully more frequently. This was the second scheduled orgasm. The first was on December 21. Her orgasm calendar sits next to mine. We both hope that these orgasms will restart her mojo. After she came tonight, she said that she thought it might. Boy, would that be good news!

When we were cuddling, I mentioned that I wished I were wild. She reminded me that I told her I should remain in my cage while pleasuring her. I remembered that and I do agree. The reason is that I don’t want her distracted by thinking of reciprocating. I want to be sure she is focused 100% on her pleasure, not mine. She pointed out that I could be wild and still not have her do anything. I suggested that the temptation would be too easy. This way, it was very clear that tonight was just for her.

Christmas night I got a bonus orgasm. It’s odd, but the day after I come, I find myself very horny. That makes little sense, since I should be satisfied and uninterested in sex. Mrs. Lion agreed to play with me and then out of Christmas charity, let me come again. It felt wonderful.

There is a lot to be said in favor of serial orgasms. Even in a vanilla relationship, if only one partner at a time has orgasms on a given day, I think that sex in general would improve. Here’s my thinking: One component, conscious or unconscious, of sex is worry about the other partner’s pleasure. If it is clear and cheerfully agreed that on a given day only one partner will come, there is none of the inevitable stress and possibly guilt that the other partner may feel deprived. Guys, in particular, are very good at laying guilt trips on partners who don’t assure they make sure their men also come.

In enforced chastity, of course, the base assumption is that the male has no expectation of coming except on the relatively rare occasions when his keyholder chooses to get him off. He, on the other hand, expects to give his keyholder orgasms as often as she would like.

I suspect that this reversal in expectations goes a long way toward improving the woman’s sexual pleasure. Ironically, the caged male also has more pleasure because of the control and buildup that inevitably occurs before he finally gets to come.

I know that I really love giving orgasms to Mrs. Lion. I also love that she knows that I don’t want or expect reciprocation. We are new at the Mrs. Lion orgasm opportunities. After just two very nice evenings, we may have some progress toward waking up Mrs. Lion’s sleeping libido. Mrs. Lion, it’s wake up time!

 

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

Maybe it’s all perception. Lion says I was horny last night because I was wet. To me, horny is when you want sex. I mean really want sex. For example, if Lion wasn’t caged, in the morning he would have an erection. Does that mean he’s horny? Nope. Lion is never horny in the morning. He doesn’t like morning sex. But he has an erection. But he’s not horny. Yet he tells me I must be horny whenever I’m wet.

Well, I think we have found part of the problem. My body is saying, “Let’s roll!” while my mind is saying, “Roll where?” If sex is mostly in your mind, we need to get my mind on the same page. When I say I’m horny I mean that my mind and body are thinking about it. My mind has sent a signal that Lion is a sexy beast and it would be really great to be with him right now and my body agrees. It’s not difficult for my mind to rally the troops and get my body on board. The opposite is more difficult. My mind is usually racing with a million different thoughts. My body has trouble flagging it down for a pit stop.

I’m not sure what the solution is, but maybe we’re on the right track with the scheduled orgasms. Maybe it will snap my mind out of it. In the meantime I’ll think sexy thoughts.