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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm denial

This morning Lion announced he was horny. I told him that was nothing new. It seems the new part is that he really wants to come. As we’ve both said over the past week or so, this wait has been different in that Lion hasn’t been interested in actually having an orgasm so much as being edged. He was coming to a sort of understanding of why guys can go for months or even a year without wanted to ejaculate. So what’s changed?

Since we can’t answer why this time was different, I don’t think we can answer what has changed now. My guess, and it’s only a guess, is that today is day 21 and I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m only looking to get him past day 22. Could that be it? He’s seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and it woke things up? If I’d been clear he was waiting until day 28, would this have happened at day 26? Unfortunately we have more questions than answers. I suppose the only way to find out would be to do repeated experiments of similar or longer duration. I’m not sure I’m up for that. I’ve been looking forward to things getting back to normal.

I know I said the next step would be an extended wait with the cage on to see if things worked out the same way, but I guess I didn’t give any thought to how the long wait would affect me. It’s sort of nerve racking knowing that if I go just a stroke too far I’ve wrecked our chances for the longer wait. And Lion’s been having fun being edged without really caring if he has an orgasm. In a sense I’m glad he wants an orgasm again. I’m not sure I would have wanted to give him one when he didn’t want it. I know I have before and he’s told me afterwards he didn’t want to come. I feel like I’ve let him down.

Maybe it falls under the damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t concept. I’d never think a man would be disappointed by being allowed to have an orgasm. I know it’s my choice of when he gets to come and when he has to wait, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say he has some input. It’s true that sometimes I can tell him to suck it up but in general I take his wishes into consideration. It just always seems to work out backwards from what I would expect.

[Lion — I think this is all part of our learning process. My sexual responses are predictable, but not logical. Mrs. Lion doesn’t really like that. Another point is that when I know she is expecting me to wait longer, she also knows that I expect to be edged. If I get an accidental orgasm, she says she disappointed me. I don’t see it that way at all. I have a suggestion: just let the accidental orgasm remain ruined. That’s a good way to let me know that it’s my fault I went too far.]

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Orgasm denial

Today is the 21st day since my last orgasm. It’s one day short of the longest wait I’ve had. I know, big deal. Well, it is for me. For one thing, it’s taught me something useful about myself, and perhaps all other males.

It’s well known and documented that both male and female mammals, including us, will lose interest in sex after a while if no sex is forthcoming. It’s an evolutionary plus to not waste time and attention to sex if none is available. Many critters, including humans, will masturbate if no other sexual activity is available. This is sex. It isn’t as much fun as with a partner, but the nervous system doesn’t know the difference. Masturbation will keep the sex drive active.

My recent experience is that I am not given the opportunity to ejaculate, but I do get very frequent stimulation right up to the point when my body will take over and eject semen. This has been going on for three weeks now. My experience and its effects are not documented by the scientific community. Other males who are in a similar situation as I have reported that they encourage their partners to extend their waits. Delaying orgasm for weeks or months seems to be almost a sport for them.

I understand how they feel. It’s a new kind of sexual heat. I, at least, really want sexual attention. I’m horny as hell. But I am not particularly interested in ejaculating. If I am half crazy to have sex, why wouldn’t that include an orgasm? Isn’t that what sex is ultimately about?

It’s true from a reproductive perspective, that I should want to ejaculate each time I am aroused. My biological imperative is to ejaculate into as many females as I can. My social imperative restricts the biology to my mate and no others. The fact remains that my mind and body have spent a lifetime conditioned to seek ejaculation, not just arousal.

When I started enforced chastity, I learned that most of my sexual experience would not lead to ejaculation. Edging is a standard part of orgasm denial and control. That’s fine. Each time Mrs. Lion took me to the edge of ejaculation, my desire to complete the act grew stronger. I even got grumpy after too many days of non orgasmic teasing. I was chomping at the bit for her to just go a little further and let me come.

I never imagined anything would change that need, no matter how long I had to wait. In fact, I thought that after a couple of weeks that I would be humping the furniture. My sexual goal has always been ejaculation. In one sense, being left hanging meant active sexual frustration long after Mrs. Lion found something else to do. This was exactly the case for me until the end of the second week.

At that point, I remained very interested in sexual contact with my lioness, but had lost interest in ejaculating. Yes, in the heat of her pushing me closer and closer to the edge, I wanted to ejaculate. I humped her hand, panted, and wished she would go too far and I could finish. I would have been happy if she stopped just after I got over the edge. I would ejaculate! That’s the goal.

OK, that seems pretty normal. But then, after she stopped, leaving me high and dry, in a few seconds my interest in coming disappeared. I was breathing hard, erection standing tall, but completely happy with the experience. I was relaxed, and if not satisfied, comfortable. It was fine with me if my chance to ejaculate was delayed as far in the future as Mrs. Lion wished. All I wanted was those daily teasing sessions.

This is a different sort of loss of sexual interest. It’s the state that lets guys suggest they come very infrequently. The orgasm isn’t the goal any longer. For some men, just being able to sexually stimulate their partners is enough to make them feel the way I do after teasing. Apparently, when male sex is separated from ejaculation there are lots of acceptable alternatives to the old norm.

It’s a matter of training. Once, and apparently only once, when a man is repeatedly teased and prevented from ejaculating for some period of time, he will disassociate ejaculation from sexual pleasure. How long must this dry spell go on? I’m sure if varies widely from one man to another. In my case it appears to be a little over two weeks.

That doesn’t mean a guy can be locked in a chastity device, teased a few times a week, and left to stew without ejaculating right from the start. The training has to begin with learning how to accept that teasing without reward for some time, then get to ejaculate.

I think that in my case, over four years I learned it was normal to come every six or seven days. My mind and body fully accepted that most of the time I would be teased to the edge of ejaculation, but not allowed to actually come. It became part of my life. Then, when Mrs. Lion decided to increase the wait for ejaculation to over three weeks, I was unhappy but not too upset. I have been trained to wait. This latest wait is long enough to trigger my loss of interest in ejaculating.

I’m not saying that a guy has to be edged for three or four years before he learns to separate ejaculation from sex. I’m certain it can be done in six months, maybe less. While I can’t say for sure that my recent experience is typical, my reading leads me to believe it is.

Here’s an interesting question: Will I ever return to desperately wanting to ejaculate, if Mrs. Lion returns to giving me orgasms every few days? I wonder if once learned, this new behavior is permanent. Will I enjoy the edging, but like now, be satisfied to not ejaculate? Or, will I return to my former state of increasing desperation for release?

I don’t know. I suppose I’ll find out a few days after my next orgasm. I’m in no hurry to find out. What do you think about all of this?

 

 

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm denial

A strange thing is happening. Lion doesn’t mind waiting this time around. As a matter of fact, he seems to be daring me to make him wait longer.

First he came up with the idea of Saturday being orgasm day. That means the only possibility for orgasm would be on Saturday. If I didn’t give him one he’d have to wait until the following Saturday. He says we do better with structure like that. Well, yeah. With things like punishment and sling time. The scheduled days were created to bring those things into the forefront of my mind otherwise I just go along with business as usual and forget. I’ve never forgotten to give him an orgasm.

Assuming Saturday would be “the” day and assuming he was on track for a 21 day wait, Lion announced that he should wait 28 days. I was leaning toward 21 days since his longest wait (not including after surgery) was 21 days. Then I thought it made no sense to do another 21 day wait. It’s more logical to go another day. However, he did have a 22 day wait after his surgery even though he didn’t care about sex for most of that time. So I decided he should wait at least 23 days. Lion is still voting for 28.

The other day we were emailing back and forth and Lion said something about the 28th. I teased him by asking if he meant the 28th day of waiting or the 28th of November. Immediately he jumped on that by saying he could wait until the 28th of November if I wanted him to. It’s “only” ten days longer. I don’t even want to make him wait 28 days. Why would I go to November 28?

But then Lion reasoned that November 28 is so close to December 1 that it made sense to wait until December 1. If I limit him to one orgasm in November and one in December we’ll have an average of one orgasm a month for 2017. None of this truly makes sense. And I’m just trying to get him to the 23rd day of waiting. I’d had my limit of him suggesting what I consider ridiculous wait times so I said we might as well wait for New Year’s Eve.

It’s not really surprising to me that he said he knew I was kidding but he’d be willing to wait. I assume, as we got closer to New Year’s Eve he’d say he was willing to wait until Valentine’s day, and then St Patrick’s day, and then Bastille day, etc. Let’s go for the record of one orgasm per quarter, or even year. Why not?

I was being sarcastic when I suggested New Year’s Eve. I don’t want him to wait that long. I don’t want him to wait 28 days. I don’t really care if he makes it to 23 but, at this point, he’s so close we might as well go for the record. I just want to go back to giving Lion an orgasm when I want to give Lion an orgasm. Is that too much to ask?

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm denial

Without a definite date in mind, Lion and I have decided to do an experiment. Yesterday I posed the question wondering if Lion would lose interest over time and, if he did, would he get it back again if I made him wait. I don’t think we want to go for a record wait but it is an interesting question.

At the very least, we’re on our way to a two week wait. Lion’s longest wait was 21 or 22 days. I have no plans to give him an orgasm any time soon. However, I’ve been pushing my luck a lot. I figure it’s only a matter of time before I go too far. Poor Lion has been a giant puddle when I’m done edging him. Mr. Weenie has been very hard. The Lion weather has been set to tropical heat wave for days. He’s chomping at the bit.

So we’re starting off our experiment with a very horny Lion. At some point I assume the Lion weather will cool off a bit. I have no idea how long that will take. We’ll have near-daily edgings with a certain amount of play along the way. We’ll proceed as usual. If the Lion weather does cool, I’ll see if I can heat it up again.

I guess the problem would be if he cools off and I can’t get him reheated. What then? I don’t really expect him to get all the way down to freezing. At some point in the cooling process we’ll determine if he’s not getting any warmer and maybe we should hit reset. I’m hoping an orgasm would restart the process. At the very least we’ll have our answer.

It may be an interesting experiment but it will make for a very frustrated Lion. I think he’s up for the challenge.