This morning Lion announced he was horny. I told him that was nothing new. It seems the new part is that he really wants to come. As we’ve both said over the past week or so, this wait has been different in that Lion hasn’t been interested in actually having an orgasm so much as being edged. He was coming to a sort of understanding of why guys can go for months or even a year without wanted to ejaculate. So what’s changed?
Since we can’t answer why this time was different, I don’t think we can answer what has changed now. My guess, and it’s only a guess, is that today is day 21 and I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m only looking to get him past day 22. Could that be it? He’s seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and it woke things up? If I’d been clear he was waiting until day 28, would this have happened at day 26? Unfortunately we have more questions than answers. I suppose the only way to find out would be to do repeated experiments of similar or longer duration. I’m not sure I’m up for that. I’ve been looking forward to things getting back to normal.
I know I said the next step would be an extended wait with the cage on to see if things worked out the same way, but I guess I didn’t give any thought to how the long wait would affect me. It’s sort of nerve racking knowing that if I go just a stroke too far I’ve wrecked our chances for the longer wait. And Lion’s been having fun being edged without really caring if he has an orgasm. In a sense I’m glad he wants an orgasm again. I’m not sure I would have wanted to give him one when he didn’t want it. I know I have before and he’s told me afterwards he didn’t want to come. I feel like I’ve let him down.
Maybe it falls under the damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t concept. I’d never think a man would be disappointed by being allowed to have an orgasm. I know it’s my choice of when he gets to come and when he has to wait, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say he has some input. It’s true that sometimes I can tell him to suck it up but in general I take his wishes into consideration. It just always seems to work out backwards from what I would expect.
[Lion — I think this is all part of our learning process. My sexual responses are predictable, but not logical. Mrs. Lion doesn’t really like that. Another point is that when I know she is expecting me to wait longer, she also knows that I expect to be edged. If I get an accidental orgasm, she says she disappointed me. I don’t see it that way at all. I have a suggestion: just let the accidental orgasm remain ruined. That’s a good way to let me know that it’s my fault I went too far.]