Masturbation (Page 6)

In case you wondered, the mysterious sore on my penis seems to be almost healed (Click here to see the healing progress). I still have absolutely no idea how I did it. There aren’t a lot of possibilities. Since I’m naked almost all the time, and I haven’t used a public restroom, or for that matter even our bathroom, while dressed, it’s not a zipper injury. I’m very sure I would have noticed if it were. I’m assuming that I scratched myself with a sharp nail when going to the bathroom. One good thing about being trained not to stimulate myself sexually is that I’m sure I didn’t get it as a result of masturbating.

A few days ago, I wrote about my thought that the chastity device isn’t necessary to stop a masturbation habit. I got quite a few comments that agreed with a very big but. That qualification was that when horny and bored, jerking off was difficult to avoid. I agree, it can be. This brings us back to a very interesting observation: the difference between “can’t” and “won’t”.

When I’m locked in a chastity device, I can’t play with myself. I can’t even get hard. It’s true that I could escape from the device, but that requires a lot more trouble than I’m willing to go to. There’s something really hot about being unable to reach the penis and stimulate it. If I am a wild, it’s available for me to fondle. I can get hard and jerk off. I don’t because I’ve been trained not to. But I can with no real difficulty. In this case I won’t play with myself.

I think it’s very hot to be locked in a chastity device. It’s most exciting when I’m horny and I can feel my penis pressing against the bars as it strains to get erect. I know that I can’t express sexual feelings. Instead of being bored and horny, I am excited, frustrated, and horny. The presence of the locked device reminds me that I have no ability to get myself off.

It comes down to the same thing, of course. In either case I don’t get off. When I’m wearing chastity device, not getting off is a fun effect of my penis bondage. When I’m wild, not getting off is a not-so-fun result of my training. I remain bored and horny. Exercising the willpower instilled by my training isn’t particularly fun for me. I don’t feel tempted and victorious by overcoming the temptation. I just don’t try. So, I’m left bored and horny.

I think it’s safe to say that masturbation as a temporary cure for boredom isn’t the most healthy thing in the world. It’s a very typical behavior among primates in captivity. We’ve all seen monkeys jerking off frantically and frequently in the zoo. It’s a pleasant primate pastime. Even in the wild, many animals masturbate now and then.

It’s even okay for married humans, if the female mate allows it. Jerking off is a legitimate pressure release in situations where partner sex is unavailable. In fact, some wives encourage it as a way of reducing their need to have sex with their husbands. We all know that it’s rare when both partners have the same level of interest in sex. The partner who wants more sex can be encouraged to masturbate as a way of balancing sexual needs.

I don’t agree with that idea at all. If there is a difference in sexual desire, I think it should be recognized and discussed. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want sex for herself. She also never wants me to masturbate. So, she’s done the reasonable thing: She masturbates me. I don’t do it myself. Because we have a sexual power exchange, she restricts how often she gets me off as a way of expressing her control.

Let’s say that we didn’t have this chastity power exchange. Then, she would stimulate me regularly and frequently enough to keep me satisfied. I doubt that she would do it every day, even if I wanted it. But, she would jerk me off several times a week to make sure I was sexually satisfied. The mechanism of enforced male chastity simplifies the process. I understand that I’m supposed to be frustrated and horny much of the time. I know that when she chooses to give me an orgasm, I’m grateful and appreciate it.

There is a very big difference between a hand job from Mrs. Lion and me rubbing one out. When it’s her hand, we are having sex. Yes, she is masturbating me, but because my mate is providing the stimulation, it’s partner sex. Anything she does that stimulates my penis and possibly allows me to ejaculate is partner sex. Intercourse is only one form of it. We have only had vaginal intercourse once since  January 2016. About 25% of my orgasms are oral. Virtually all of the teasing and 75% of my orgasms are produced by her hands. Normal sex for me is a hand job.

I’m not complaining. I’m very satisfied-if-horny, most of the time. It’s been this way for almost 6 years. I realize that most other couples have more sexual variety. That doesn’t change the premise at all. 100% of my orgasms are produced one way or another by my lioness. She chooses to use her hand to do it almost all the time. If your partner prefers you to get off through intercourse, that’s fine. The key is that all sex is provided by your mate. If she isn’t available to provide it, you don’t get it.

That’s the hard part. She’s sick or she’s out of town or she’s angry or she’s tired. She isn’t available to get you off. In my world, that means I don’t get off. It’s as simple as that. If you happen to be practicing enforced male chastity, you should be willing to wait as long as it’s necessary for an orgasm. If you’re not, you may believe that since she can’t (or won’t) get you off, you have a perfect right to jerk off.

Male chastity may appear to be a very strange kink. I can see that. It forcefully teaches a critical lesson in sexual happiness. Those of us locked in chastity devices do not expect to get ourselves off. We’ve surrendered that right to our mates. It doesn’t matter how horny we get, we can’t take matters into our own hands. After being locked up a number of years, I’ve been trained so that I won’t take matters into my own hands no matter how desperate I am.

My sexual dependency has improved our relationship. I am sexually faithful in every sense. Mrs. Lion knows that she alone provides me with sexual relief. She sees this as both an expression of my love and a responsibility to me. On the deepest, most intimate level, she owns my penis. Because we practice enforced male chastity, her ownership is defined by explicit agreement. We both know that I can’t ejaculate unless she stimulates me.

Before we started all this, she believed that was the case. She had no idea that I masturbated. When she found out that I did, it bothered her. I think the reason it did was that she learned that she wasn’t my only source of sexual pleasure. A few times a week I provided myself with what she believed was hers. At the time I thought that was a bit odd. She jerked me off and occasionally gave me oral sex about once a month. I couldn’t believe that she thought that was enough for me. Our “chastity talk” exposed all this and established ground rules for regular teasing and occasional ejaculation.

If we didn’t have that talk, I’m pretty sure that I would become more and more frustrated and she would have withdrawn from me further. I wonder how many couples actually talk about their sex lives. I wonder if couples practicing enforced male chastity stop discussing it as well. I think that the best, most-satisfying sexual relationships are the result of conscious planning and execution. The idea that sex should be spontaneous is a cop out. Thanks to our blog, Mrs. Lion and I regularly learn about each other’s sexual status and interest. Speaking of which, I sure wish she were here now to play with me.

Friday night, as promised, Mrs. Lion teased me. It took a while, but she got me to the edge. I was very close to ejaculating. She stopped, but then started again and took me over the top. She told me she was concerned that I would have another ruined orgasm. She made sure I didn’t. It felt great. My wait was six days.

Things are getting back to normal here. I’m really glad. It got pretty scary when it felt like I just couldn’t get near the top. It appears that it just takes longer right now. That’s too bad. It means Mrs. Lion has to work harder to get me to the edge. I wish there were a way to be trained to ejaculate more quickly. I’ve read a lot of articles claiming that a male can be trained to do this. Most of the stories talk about training a man to ejaculate on command. I don’t know of any examples that this technique is successful. Ironically, a woman can be trained this way. Female orgasms appear to be much less mechanically-based than male ejaculation.

This makes sense. From a strictly reproductive point of view, a male must ejaculate when thrusting as deeply as possible into the vagina. To facilitate this, most men can only ejaculate on the “downstroke”. Mrs. Lion has proved this to me more than once. On the other hand, female orgasms aren’t strictly necessary for reproduction. Nature has taken a much more permissive course in the ways a female can get off.

Ironically, very little attention is given to the importance of foreplay for a male. We are expected to get hard and ready to go with virtually no sexual attention. At least, that’s the party line. I’ve been taught that a lubricated vagina does not mean a woman is necessarily ready for penetration. To really enjoy herself, she needs lots of touching kissing and licking. The physiological lubrication does not mark her as “ready”.

Males, on the other hand, are deemed ready to go as soon as they have erections. In this enlightened age you would think that what’s good for the goose should also be good for the gander. But it’s not. I’m sure that part of this is political. The women’s movement helped teach us that women need much more than a wet pussy to be ready to enjoy intercourse. There is been no corresponding male sexual liberation movement to teach women that an erection doesn’t mean a male is ready to penetrate a female. As a matter of fact, many women expect men to self-stimulate their penises to get ready.

I think that one of the big reasons we males masturbate throughout our lives is that we share the expectation that stimulation of our penises is left to our own devices. We are expected to begin masturbating as a way of preparing ourselves for penetration. It isn’t unreasonable to expect us to play with our penises when a female is not available.

Women, on the other hand, are taught not to “touch” themselves. They are never expected to get themselves wet and ready for penetration. That’s the man’s job.

I was genuinely surprised when I learned that Mrs. Lion had no idea I masturbated. I assumed she knew that all guys do that. She expected me to get her aroused before any coed activity would begin. She didn’t enjoy playing with my penis once I got things going. As I’ve since learned, like many men, I have a hard time initiating sex. I don’t know why, but I do. This caused us considerable trouble in the old days.

Even though Mrs. Lion enjoyed stimulating me, her understanding of the way sex should work was that I get her aroused and then penetrate her. It wasn’t always that simple. She enjoyed masturbating me and giving me oral sex. But you get the idea. Those things were “extras”. The meat and potatoes was stimulating her and then penetrating.

Enforced male chastity came to the rescue in our case. For one thing, she learned that I jerked off. She found out that it was a supplement to the infrequent sex we were having together. She genuinely dislikes that idea. By locking me in the chastity device and then accepting the responsibility of teasing me and eventually giving me an orgasm, she understood the need for male stimulation. This wasn’t a particularly new idea. I think she understood that all along. I don’t think she knew how important it is to me. Essentially, she took on the responsibility of providing me with sexual stimulation and ejaculation.

Because I was wearing a chastity device, I learned that I couldn’t touch my penis sexually. Essentially, I learned I wasn’t allowed to play with myself. All arousal and satisfaction came from my lioness. As an adult, I was taught what most girls learn at an early age. It’s almost the exact opposite of what women learned from the women’s liberation movement. It taught women to masturbate to orgasm. They learn to enjoy sexual freedom; orgasms without males.

I learned the exact opposite. I’ve learned that the only way I can have sexual satisfaction is with a woman; a particular one: Mrs. Lion. I don’t regret the change. Mrs. Lion is taking good care of me over the last six years. I don’t know if I can masturbate anymore. I certainly have no desire to do so. I know it’s wrong.

Interestingly, from what I read on other blogs, keyholders make a point of masturbating themselves as well as accepting one-way sex from their locked males. The guys love it. This reversal of sexual satisfaction appears to be extremely hot in some circles. The way I see it, it’s a sexual role reversal. For those of us that practice it, it’s very welcome.

Traditionally, the sexual initiator and partner guaranteed an orgasm is considered the “aggressor”. Guys have been taught from early childhood that they are the sexual aggressors. It’s a subtle form of domination that permeates Western society. It’s not naked power. It’s just a subtle concept that pre-defines sexual roles. Enforced male chastity reverses those roles. I know that I find comfort in this reversal. I believe other men do too.

The lesson in all this is that masturbation, male or female, blunts the sharp edge of partner sex. It’s not that it’s bad; it isn’t. It’s just that by sexually depending on one another for orgasms, a couple builds a powerful, primal bond. Arousal without orgasm is an expected part of life. If a man or a woman is turned on by pornography or seeing a sexy member of the opposite sex, arousal is natural and positive. However, the arousal can only be satisfied by the mate.

In our case, I depend on Mrs. Lion to give me orgasms. I’m trained not to make myself come. I’m also bound not to let anyone but her near my penis. It doesn’t matter if my Jail Bird is on or not. It’s more fun when it’s on, but the rules don’t change if I’m wild. If you subtract the BDSM from male chastity, the idea that neither partner can self-provide orgasms is a powerful emotional glue supporting the relationship.

If you read Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday, she’s getting proactive in the toy department. It is the first time she located a toy to be used on me. She suggested the Fleshlight. This toy looks like a large flashlight with an opening where the bulb would be. It’s available with a vagina-shaped opening, an anus, or a mouth.

She wasn’t sure what the device was called, but I recognized it from her description. I said I could order one. She agreed. So I placed an order for the “Stamina Trainer” vagina model. I have no idea why this particular model is supposed to train for stamina. It appeared to me to be the only one that looked like the classic Fleshlight I’ve seen on various websites over the years.

I have no idea if this toy will provide more intense stimulation than Mrs. Lion’s left hand or mouth. At worst, it will give her another tool to stimulate me. The entire category of male sex toys are referred to as “masturbators”. They all seem to be simulated orifices, both female and male. Of course, classic vibrators, which are generally considered female sex toys, are just as useful in getting men off.

I applaud Mrs. Lion’s imagination. Her proactive approach to lion physical therapy is laudable. Perhaps we’ve turned a new corner. I certainly hope so. I’m not complaining. Mrs. Lion has been a diligent, sensitive sex partner. Even though sex is only for me, she constantly tries to make it as much fun as possible.

The Fleshlight adds a new element: surprise. I had no idea we would end up acquiring this device. Now sex might be hand, mouth, Magic Wand, and now Fleshlight. That’s cool!

It doesn’t really matter whether the new device is better than any of our tried-and-true sexual techniques. It’s just wonderful that there will be something new. I don’t want to claim this is the beginning of a trend (though I hope it is). There isn’t all that much variety out there in male sex toys; at least I don’t think so.

I’m very happy that I’m not the only one discovering new possibilities. It feels wonderful that Mrs. Lion is taking time and energy to seek out new ways to play with me. It’s an extension of her sexual control.

I’m fully aware that I’m not allowed to use anything, including my hand, on my penis. But I have always been allowed to locate and purchase toys for Mrs. Lion’s use. I like it much better that she is doing her own shopping.

I’ve always felt that I had to do this research. If she’s doing it things will get much more entertaining here. It’s exciting just to think about her next shopping selection.