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In: Edging, Masturbation, Mrs Lion Comments
lion's fleshlight
This is a cross-section view of the Fleshlight Lion ordered. He selected the vaginal model. It should be arriving in a week or two.
(Click image for purchase information)

Lion thinks that daily edging, or attempts at edging, is a necessary part of his recovery. I’m game for that. But I have sort of a problem. If I’m not able to get him aroused enough to get to the edge, what do I do? If I use my hands, my mouth and the Magic Wand to no avail, what next? I even tied his balls up last night. He loved it. He was hard for a while and then he wasn’t.

He says he feels like he hits a wall. I have many tricks in my bag, but what if they don’t work? I know. I know. It’s not that he doesn’t find me attractive anymore. I get that. And I’m not going to give up on him, but what to do? Last night I came up with one idea.

In my travels looking for paddles or other toys, I’ve seen masturbation toys. Lion isn’t allowed to masturbate himself. I’m his masturbation toy. But I do use the Magic Wand so why not try other things too? I couldn’t remember what the name was but I explained it to Lion as we were snuggling after the failed edging attempt. About an hour later he said he’d ordered a Fleshlight. Yes! That’s the name. I’m not sure which one he ordered. They come in mouth, anus and vagina models. But I’m interested to see if they work. How they work.

fleshlight on penis
The Fleshlight simulates a vagina. I think that Lion will have a lot of fun when I use it on him.

For the record, I don’t see anything wrong with getting a little help for him. If women can have dildos then men can have Fleshlights. As long as I’m the one who uses the Fleshlight on Lion, he can have it. After all, I’m the one who uses dildos on him. It just makes sense.

Until the toy gets here, I’m on my own. Don’t worry. I’m up for it. I’m up for getting Lion up. It’s a medically necessary part of his recovery.

By:
In: Masturbation, Lion's Journal

Believe it or not, it’s still snowing here! For People that don’t live in the Seattle area a statement like that is greeted with a yawn. Four days of snow here is like a blizzard in Miami. It takes a rare confluence of atmospheric conditions to produce any snow here. Bounded as we are on three sides by mountains and by Pacific Ocean on the fourth, it’s very difficult for the right conditions to exist for snow to fall. Moist air comes in from the Pacific which is quite warm. Dry, cold air comes down from Canada. So, it’s either rainy and warm or sunny and cold. Somehow, we managed to get wet and cold at the same time.

Mrs. Lion and I are home. I’m very happy about that. Unfortunately, she only gets paid when she shows up at work. Her office was closed on Monday. My office was too. I’m lucky enough to be able to work from here. However, since most of my colleagues are three time zones away, there is generally some afternoon time for a Big Cat Nap. We both had one on Monday. The way it looks now, Mrs. Lion will be home again today.

On Sunday night we snuggled and Mrs. Lion played with my penis and masturbated me. I was able to get hard and enjoy her ministrations. However, she couldn’t get me to the edge. I think the problem is a drug I’m trying out. Because I take a blood thinner, standard anti-inflammatory drugs are off-limits to me. I can’t take aspirin, ibuprofen, or or other drugs of that type. I’m pretty much limited to Tylenol or narcotics for pain.

I’ve been working with the pain management doctors at my hospital to look for non-narcotic solutions for my surgical pain. One possibility is a drug that is an old antidepressant. I’ve been testing it out to see if it can reduce minimal aches and pains I have now. If it can, I can take it to help with the surgical pain. I forgot one thing about antidepressants: they depress the libido of the person taking them. I stopped taking the drug Sunday night and hopefully I’ll be perking up, so to speak, soon. So much for drug testing. If I need it after my surgery, I’ll take it then. I’m sure I won’t be interested in sex at that time anyway.

Depressed libido or not, I am most certainly interested in sex now. Monday was my sixth day waiting. I would welcome teasing to the edge as much as I would a full orgasm. Mrs. Lion’s been great about daily teasing. It’s a miracle she doesn’t have carpal tunnel syndrome from using her wrist so much on my penis.

There are two distinct schools of hand jobs: One, is the “dry” school. This technique massages the penis with no lubrication of any kind. It requires a firm, accurate grip to avoid irritating the head of the penis. The second, is the “lube” school. A lubricant is used so that the hand freely slides over the penis even when pressure is applied. This most closely simulates vaginal intercourse.

Here are two instructional videos on lube handjobs:

Each school has its own proponents. I suspect most guys, like me, do it themselves dry. Part of the reason is that it’s easier and neater. Another part is that it’s very easy to feel when things start to go a little wrong and corrections can be made immediately. Of course, I don’t masturbate, but I do remember when I did. Mrs. Lion likes the dry school. She does quite well with it. A lot of women prefer lube. So do a lot of men.

The big plus of using lube, is that a much wider variety of sensations can be produced. For example, having the man hump the woman’s hand can feel much more like fucking if the entire penis can move through her hand. There are also a wide range of hand motions possible with lube that can’t be duplicated in the dry state.

The downside of a lube hand job is that cleanup is required when the job is done. It also takes considerable experimentation to work out how much lube provides the right amount of friction. Mrs. Lion doesn’t do it often enough to find tune lube. She generally uses more than she might need. Of course, that’s just a guess. If she decides to switch off I’ll find out.

 

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Masturbation

I never really spent a lot of time thinking about how my masturbation might affect others. I was genuinely surprised that Mrs. Lion had no idea that I jerked off. I barely gave it a thought. It was just something I did when horny and the prospect of partner sex was unlikely.

I will admit that I had the occasional fantasy of women making me masturbate while they watched. It was never a very hot fantasy, but sometimes while playing with myself it played on my fantasy movie screen. It was far from my go-to fantasy. It’s been so long that I’m not sure what got me across the goal line.

It almost certainly had some BDSM components. I always imagined it was someone else’s hand stroking me. Mostly it was just a way to scratch an itch. I’m not claiming I never liked jerking off. It was usually fun to come. Sometimes, even that wasn’t particularly pleasant.

On the other hand, I genuinely enjoy hand jobs. Mrs. Lion is an expert at delivering them. We both agree she doesn’t need lube. I never used any when I did it myself. Sometimes Mrs. Lion does use lube. It’s nice as a change, but dry rubs usually feel best.

As I said before, I never gave masturbation a lot of thought. The fact is that over the last four years the vast majority of sexual attention I’ve received is via Mrs. Lion’s hand. She almost always edges me with her hand. On rare occasions she uses the Magic Wand. Even less frequently, I get edged orally.

Actual orgasms are two-thirds by hand or vibrator. About a third of the time I get to come in her mouth. We haven’t had vaginal sex in over a year. I haven’t used my hand since December 2013.

A hand job is masturbation. It’s just not my hand doing it. So I can’t claim I don’t like it. I love it. I’m masturbated instead of masturbating. That is, for me at least, a big difference. Mrs. Lion’s hand feels orders of magnitude better than mine.

That brings me to a point I only considered for the first time today: Would I be as humiliated if I were masturbated in front of others as I would if I did it myself? If Mrs. Lion brought a friend home, had me strip, and then gave me a hand job in front of her friend, I think I would be more humiliated than if I did it with my own hand.

There’s the aspect of being naked and aroused in front of fully dressed women. That would be the same in both cases. If I had to jerk off, I could drift away into my own world. I would be embarrassed. However, if Mrs. Lion jerked me off and carried on a conversation while doing it, there would be a heightened sense of humiliation because making me come would just be part of a demonstration of how I am sexually treated.

I would feel more like an animal giving a “donation” by being dispassionately milked. Since this has never happened and is unlikely to be something that Mrs. Lion would do, I’ll never find out what it’s like. I can imagine that I would have a hard time getting off if treated this way. I’m sure that eventually I would. What do you think about this sort of treatment?

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Masturbation

In reaction to Mrs. Lion’s post In or Out, Julie had this comment about me masturbating:

“I say keep him free and have some fun with his masturbation. Make him do it in front of you while you watch and giggle. Making him swallow afterwards is a fun little “consequence”. Or allow him the freedom to masturbate as he pleases, but he must tell you afterwards and suffer a beaten butt as a consequence. Or if you catch him at it red-handed, double consequences! I enjoy my husband’s incessant need to tug on his penis like a little monkey, and have fun with it.”

This is interesting and very different to how Mrs. Lion considers my jerking off. When we first began male chastity, I told her that I masturbated. She was genuinely surprised. I reacted with some surprise of my own. For about five years, there was almost no sex. Generally, I got a hand job once a month. She must have imagined that I was OK with that. I wasn’t.

I had been masturbating about twice a week that entire time. Anyway, Mrs. Lion apparently had no idea I did that. When I told her, she had me jerk off while she watched. It was more educational for her than humiliating for me. When I finished, I was locked into my chastity device.

Subsequently, she wrote how she considered me masturbating as a mild form of sexual betrayal. She made it very clear that she would consider masturbation a serious breach of marital trust. I haven’t masturbated since that night in December 2013.

Julie’s suggestion is an interesting humiliation scenario. I can’t imagine me doing it. I’ve lost masturbation as a sexual choice for me. I can’t explain exactly why or how, but I just don’t even think about jerking off. Left to my own devices, it would take a lot before I would even try.

Would I feel humiliated if Mrs. Lion made me do it in front of her? I don’t think so. I would be so intent on trying to execute this now-extinct maneuver, that I doubt I would even realize she was watching.

In order for Julie’s suggestion to be effective, I would somehow have to relearn to enjoy jerking off. That may sound odd, but it’s true. I’ve been conditioned to remove masturbation from my sexual repertoire. Seriously, I have. I don’t think Mrs. Lion wants to retrain me to like it again.