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In: Male Chastity
1 inch-long jail bird male chastity device
Mature Metal Jail Bird

I haven’t talked about male chastity devices much lately. I try to stay on top of developments in the field. I can’t say that I’ve seen anything new worth much attention. Maybe I’m missing something. Please let me know if there’s something new and wonderful out there. I do want to comment on devices that have worked for me.

First off, the cheap Chinese male chastity devices available everywhere are worth exactly what you pay for them. If you want a toy for short playtimes, a $45 device might work. However, most are too uncomfortable to wear for more than a day or two.

holy trainer nub v5
Holy Trainer Nub

If you want a device that you can wear 24/7, it pays to invest in a quality device. HolyTrainer makes a range of quality off-the-shelf devices that, if sized properly, are amazingly comfortable. I love the v5 Nano and Nub. There are Chinese knockoffs that look the same. They aren’t. Holy Trainers are made of a special, organic plastic that feels amazing against my skin. The cheap Chinese stuff has sharp edges and is made of an inferior plastic. I haven’t found any other off-the-shelf male chastity devices that I like nearly as well.

Bespoke male chastity devices offer the best chance for a perfect fit. I’ve tried many custom devices. My favorite is the Mature Metal Jail Bird. This male chastity device can be worn continuously for years when correctly fitted. I wore one for three years. Mrs. Lion removed it for teasing and orgasms. Once a month or so, I showered without it and cleaned it in an ultrasonic cleaner. I did everything but try to go through airport security with it on.

It took a while to get the fit right. Mature Metal will make adjustments at a reasonable cost. I learned a few lessons about getting a good fit. My key takeaways are: The base ring should be just small enough to prevent balls from escaping if worn without the device. Most men end up with a 1.75-inch (45 mm) base ring. The cage length is a lot less critical than I originally thought. I ended up with a very short one-inch length for the cage. I needed it to be short enough so that the head of my penis always stayed in firm contact with the front of the cage. Peeing was neat and easy when I got that short cage. The diameter should be just a bit narrower than the relaxed width of your flaccid penis.  A little too wide is a lot better than a little too narrow.

The key to success is comfort. The male chastity device is intended to discourage masturbation. It doesn’t have to be escape-proof. You are a grown man who should have enough self-control to resist pulling out of a device to jerk off. The male chastity device is part of a fun power exchange that you asked for. Your male chastity device is there to prevent erections and discourage jerking off. It should be so comfortable that you can forget it’s there.

By:
In: Domestic discipline, Male Chastity

I did it again. I sent Mrs. Lion her daily email a few minutes after noon. She replied:

Ooooo so sorry, but you’re 11 minutes late with your email. Yes, for once I was watching. I guess you have sore buns in your future 😁

KISS

Today (Friday) is the first day that I’m pain free when I sit down. Yes, I have it coming. I’m glad that Mrs. Lion is on the ball. I guess the new focus on communication–verbal and with Mrs. Lion’s paddles–is working. This is good news for both of us. I think there’s a lesson in this. The old saw about use it or lose it applies when it comes to male chastity and domestic discipline. Neither is a natural part of a marriage. They’re both interesting kinks.

I’ve been thinking about this in terms of domestic discipline. If there were a tradition of wives spanking husbands that went back for generations, there would be no need for “Just Because” spankings or other artificial reasons to get out the paddles. We would have learned from our parents that domestic discipline is a normal part of life. The Christian sects that follow domestic discipline (wives are spanked by their husbands) have a generations-long tradition of doing this. Children grow up in households where their fathers spank their mothers and them as well. Spanking is a normal part of life. Boys and girls grow up expecting to carry on the tradition. There is no need to create artificial situations for punishment. It’s ingrained.

The rest of us don’t come from a tradition of adults being spanked. We have to develop habits ourselves. Mrs. Lion and I have spent the better part of a decade working on this. So far, we haven’t made domestic discipline a habit that doesn’t require maintenance. We need to find ways to keep Mrs. Lion’s paddles busy, or we will slip back into apathy.

One way to look at this is to consider that domestic discipline doesn’t really work for us. If it did, you might argue, we wouldn’t need to find ways to make sure I get spanked on a regular basis. The assumption behind that is we will adopt and maintain something without the need for artifice if we truly wanted it. I don’t think that’s correct.

Domestic discipline is no different than physical fitness or a good diet. Most of us need to work hard to build the habits that let us pursue those things consistently. We’ve learned that even though we both agree domestic discipline is right for us, it doesn’t mean that we will practice it consistently without help.

If there were local domestic discipline clubs (like the Christian churches that practice DD) we could join, then attending the meetings would help us keep DD alive. Since we’re on our own, we must find our own way. We’ve managed to do that with a combination of Just Because spankings and some BDSM activities. The Just Because spankings started to fail us. Mrs. Lion forgot to administer them. When we added the unrelated BDSM panty-wearing, it helped keep us both more aware of our disciplinary relationship. It works for us. Your results may be different.

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In: Male Chastity

Don’t you love emails with the headline, “Congratulations! You’re eligible to get identity theft protection!” One of my credit card companies congratulated me because they generously offered to charge me $15 a month for the service. Generosity abounds. How, you may ask, does this relate to male chastity?

The answer is painfully obvious. Most men make a similar offer to their potential keyholders when they propose being locked in a chastity device. The typical offer goes something like this:

“If you lock me up, I’ll have to give you oral sex anytime you want.”

Gee, thanks. Won’t you do that now? The typical male chastity fantasy goes something like this: The keyholder locks the poor soul’s penis in a male chastity device. Then she informs him that he can’t have an orgasm until he gets her off twenty times (or whatever number you pick). Desperate to ejaculate, he becomes an enthusiastic pussy eater and brings her ecstasy forever and ever.

The problem with this scenario is that if the guy needs to be blackmailed into pleasing his partner, why does she want to bother with him in the first place? That’s the fatal flaw with most male chastity scenarios.  It’s time for a reality check.

What’s the real purpose of wearing a male chastity device?

There are probably two. First, having your penis locked in a male chastity device that you can’t unlock is a very exciting control fantasy. It’s very arousing to imagine being horny and not even being able to have an erection. The second and most practical purpose is to prevent masturbation. An effective male chastity device will make masturbation close to impossible without removing it.

Now we get to the second level of male chastity fantasy: security. The fantasies feature devices that can’t be removed without a key. The chaste male’s penis is hopelessly trapped in the device. Nope, that’s not really true. Any truly inescapable device is going to be very uncomfortable to wear. What we really want is a device that his difficult to escape. After all, you asked to be locked up. Why would you want to defeat what you dreamed about?

This all boils down to understanding what’s really going on. Male chastity is for the benefit of the male who wants to be controlled. There is no concrete benefit for his partner. It’s extra work for her. He wants this. She agrees to play the game. That’s not to say there can’t be real benefits from playing.

When I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up, the conversation took a turn I didn’t expect. She asked me why I wanted her to lock me in the male chastity device. I answered, “So only you can give me an orgasm.” She looked puzzled. I explained that I masturbated a couple of times a week. She was shocked. Mrs. Lion had no idea that I did that.

It was my turn to be surprised. Didn’t she know that all guys jerked off? Nope, she didn’t. What’s more, she hatee the idea that I was doing it. She immediately told me that if she was in charge, the first rule was that I couldn’t jerk off. Truth be told, if she weren’t going to lock me in a male chastity device, I probably would have done it behind her back. With the device locked on, I would be sufficiently deterred to obey her.

She didn’t expect me to want to wear the device for long. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to make any long-term commitment. We agreed on a six-month trial period. She later told me that she figured that I would ask to be released before the trial period ended.

To her surprise, I stuck with it. We went through several devices before I found one I could wear 24/7 without irritation. By the end of the six months, wearing a chastity device was a normal part of my life. Since I could no longer access my penis, I didn’t masturbate. I stayed locked full-time for over three years. I had to take a break when I had shoulder and, later, spinal surgery. By that time, I had pretty much forgotten about jerking off. It’s been ten years since the last time I masturbated.

The last time was the night I asked to be locked up, and Mrs. Lion announced that I was no longer allowed to jerk off. She told me to do it one last time while she watched. At the time, I thought it wouldn’t be so bad if she wanted to turn jerking off into a spectator sport. It would be hot to “perform” for her.

Nope.

That was the last time. The very last time I got myself off. At this point, I don’t think I could do it if she told me to. She made a rule I can’t break.

By:
In: Male Chastity, Spanking

Other bloggers have finally lost patience with the idiotic “prompts” and other gimmicks designed to flog lagging imaginations. I’m delighted to see individual thought ruling the day. One trope of very questionable value is “Locktober.” This bastardization of the month’s name is a cutesy way to suggest that men wearing male chastity devices stay locked in them for the entire month. Ho hum.

I admit that in years gone by, I wrote about Locktober, too. I avoided the stupid prompts, but I did acknowledge Locktober. I thought it was cute. Mrs. Lion didn’t keep me locked up the entire month without release. For a while, bloggers were doing one-upmanship on who waited the longest for an orgasm. Fortunately, that also faded into the background like marathon dance contests did in the 1920’s.

Many of the blogs have disappeared. The ones that remain have become far more interesting to me. The focus has shifted from hardware and orgasm denial to reports of day-to-day living in a female-led relationship. I’ve never cared how long other guys had to wait to ejaculate. I do care a lot about how their lives have changed with the addition of orgasm control and, maybe, spanking, too.

Discussions about spanking have grown up, too. Not too many years ago, a big deal was made about a spanking being administered to a bare bottom. It is understood that all spankings are given that way and that making a fuss about a bare ass is superfluous and a little silly.

We’ve grown up. Maybe people new to our particular kinks have trouble relating to what we write. That can’t be helped. After a decade, the novelty has worn off. Orgasm control is the only way I have sex. It isn’t humiliating or submissive. It’s just the way things are in our house. Mrs. Lion decides when I get to ejaculate. There’s no discussion or debate.

The same is true of spanking. She decides when I deserve a spanking, and she delivers it. There’s no ritual, no scolding, no drama at all. She simply sets up the spanking bench and tells me to mount it. She begins once my bare (of course!) bottom is over the back of the bench. Sometimes, she will remind me why I’m about to yelp in pain. Most of the time, she starts warming me up with light swats. When she decides I’m ready for the real spanking, she sets the timer to at least ten minutes and then goes to work.

There is no conversation. I can yelp or even yell, “Stop!” It doesn’t matter. She goes on and on. When the timer goes off, she almost always continues. The timer is set to make sure that she gives me a minimum of ten minutes of paddling. Most of the time, she goes on for another several minutes. She tells me when she is done, releases the strap holding me down, and helps me up if I need it. That’s it.

This is very different from the fantasy scenarios that used to dominate the blogosphere. As a point of fact, what we do now is far easier for a potential keyholder/spanker to relate to. It’s also sustainable. We are both comfortable with the arrangement.