By:
In: Male Chastity, Sex

Maybe we can get back to sex again. I managed to locate a tow truck operator who was happy to tow our dead Hyundai Tucson Plug-In hybrid to the dealer. Hyundai agreed to pay the bill and also is paying for a rental car and any Ubers we need to get business done. I growled at the dealer, and he agreed to work on the car in the next week or so. Before, he said it would be three months.

It’s clear to me that I may have made a mistake when selecting the Hyundai. A car with only 2,500 miles on it shouldn’t have a catastrophic failure like this. We had a Toyota RAV4 for seven years without a single repair. The same was true of my Ford Mustang and our Ford pickups. The RAV4 had almost as much computer stuff as our new car. Anyway, we may end up paying a bunch of credit card interest on the rental car until Hyundai gets around to reimbursing us. The same is true of the towing bill we just incurred.

It’s been eleven days since my last orgasm. Now that the car shit seems to be behind us, the juices are flowing and I’m hoping Mrs. Lion will be in the mood for some lion love.

I’ve been thinking about how difficult we guys make things for ourselves when we introduce male chastity to our wives. We get all tangled up in various scenarios fueled by fantasies we read or create inside our heads. If we just introduced it as a sexual game that takes away our ability to jerk off, it would be an easy sell. Essentially, male chastity forces us to make all sex a partner activity. No more private porn jerkoff sessions. I’ll bet a lot of wives are like Mrs. Lion and don’t want their husbands jerking off.

If I find the time, I’m planning on writing a guide for women whose husbands ask to be locked up. It will be something the men can give their partners instead of the less successful fantasy conversations. I think this approach will make male chastity a lot easier to insert in a relationship. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

By:
In: Domestic discipline, Male Chastity

Mrs. Lion read the post I wrote yesterday, “Sex For Us May Have Nothing To Do With Orgasms.” She said, “I wouldn’t make you have sex if you didn’t want it.” Good point. Case closed. In my warped mind, it seemed that the orgasm would be fun regardless of sexual interest. I was being insensitive and selfish.

The simple fact is that I’m very lucky Mrs. Lion is willing to get me off. I’m sure she would be happier if I stopped wanting release. Maybe that’s the considerate thing to do. She does so much for me, and I’m sure that if we took sex off the table, it might make her life easier.

Male chastity and domestic discipline were both my ideas. It’s work for her to keep them alive. Looking back over the last ten years of our posts, much of my time was spent justifying my need for them. I visited other DD and male chastity blogs to see how other guys talked about their lives. Most of them dwell on discussions about justifying their need for the practices.

It may be that this focus repels female readers. Maybe if we took a more realistic approach to what we want, we would get a better response from women. I don’t want to generalize my thoughts to all guys. I want to talk about a realistic view of my situation.

Male chastity and domestic discipline are games I asked Mrs. Lion to play. Male chastity is a very hot sex game. I find it very arousing to know that I can’t ejaculate whenever I want. It’s super hot to me that my wife has total control of when or if I can orgasm. It is fun for me. Wearing a male chastity device is a huge turn-on because it is a 24/7 reminder that my penis is controlled by Mrs. Lion. There was nothing in it for her beyond the enjoyment of giving me so much pleasure.

Domestic discipline is a subject that evokes strong feelings in many guys who practice it. They vociferously assert that their disciplinary marriages benefit greatly because their wives can spank them. That may be true for them, but not for us. It’s true that I’m punished for breaking the rules that Mrs. Lion makes. These rules pertain to things I should do, like setting up the coffee pot for the next morning or sending a daily email.

Yes, those are things that make our lives run more smoothly, but failing to do them doesn’t threaten my safety or Mrs. Lion’s happiness. No one in his right mind would agree that a ten-minute beating with a wooden paddle is the appropriate response for failing to set up the coffee pot. I’ve yet to learn of a wife who proposed spanking her husband as a way to rescue her marriage.

There’s no disputing that domestic discipline has helped me change. The changes are small with little emotional value. That doesn’t mean they’re unimportant. I recognize that by doing my chores and thinking twice before saying something annoying, I’m helping our relationship. Punishing me has helped me make those changes. Mrs. Lion could have helped me change in less drastic ways.

The obvious truth is that I have a sexual connection to being spanked. No, I don’t get aroused when my bottom is paddled. I hate it when Mrs. Lion spanks me. After the pain subsides, I find it arousing to think and write about being spanked. I don’t know why I feel this way; I just do. Domestic discipline is a useful framework for this need and the “catch and spank” game we play.

I suspect that many people believe that calling something a game trivializes it. I disagree. War is a game. It has winners and losers. Games can be deadly serious. Games can also be useful. Male chastity trained me not to masturbate. The last time I jerked off was in 2013. Mrs. Lion’s strict orgasm control conditioned me away from self-gratification. It worked. And it is a game.

The same is true of domestic discipline. It’s a game with consequences for me. That’s what I wanted. I asked Mrs. Lion to make and enforce rules. She agreed. It was my idea and she agreed to play. It turns out that she likes catching me breaking a rule. It’s a sort of cat-and-mouse game for her. She gets nothing out of spanking me. To her, it’s just something that goes with the game. Over time she’s learned to spank me without feeling guilty for hurting me.

The bottom line is that Mrs. Lion benefits from all the work these games create simply because playing them makes me happier. She loves me and wants me to be happy. I’m incredibly lucky she feels this way.

By:
In: Male Chastity

Male Chastity has evolved since we started this blog a decade ago. You might say that it has grown up. Let me back up a little further. In the late 1990s, male chastity was pretty much an escape artist’s sport. Forums–not the sort we have now, the dial-up character-based programs–about male chastity discussed how long it took people to escape the latest male chastity devices. The game was that you couldn’t unlock to jerk off. You had to escape. The longer it took to get out, the more desperate the guys got. It was an odd but fun game.

By the time I decided to ask Mrs. Lion to lock me up, the game had changed for most guys. Enforced male chastity became a two-player game with the locked male and his keyholder. The focus moved from escape to a power exchange. The objective of the male chastity device remained masturbation prevention. Now, another player was added.

Part of the fun for many guys was finding a “secure” device that not only prevented masturbation but was also impossible to escape. The problem with that is the more secure the male chastity device, the less comfortable (and safe) it is to wear. Too tight base rings irritated. Some men applied creams to ease the pain. Penis tubes with only a tiny hole in the tip for urine are difficult to clean and start to stink quickly. Yes, they kept fingers away from sensitive penis parts, but they also required lots of maintenance.

A short time after Mrs. Lion agreed to lock me up, I realized that I was looking at male chastity the wrong way. The male chastity device shouldn’t be an inescapable penis prison. Comfort and safety are sacrificed with increasing security. It should simply prevent erections and masturbation. It should be difficult enough to escape to allow the wearer time to consider what he is doing.

That’s the key. I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. She chose to use my lock-up to train me not to masturbate. From my perspective, the worst thing that could happen would be for her to decide not to continue with my enforced male chastity. She said she would stop if I jerked off or removed the device without her persmission. She had the only keys.

We were in good shape as long as I behaved and stayed in my male chastity device. The most important feature of a male chastity device had to be comfort. I had to be able to wear it 24/7 for as long as Mrs. Lion wanted. We agreed that it would stay on permanently except for sexual activity and occasional cleaning. That couldn’t happen if the male chastity device hurt or was difficult to keep clean while locked on my penis.

1-inch long jail bird

I quickly discovered another critical need: I had to be able to pee without spraying all over the place. The male chastity devices that worked best for me were open cages like the Mature Metal Jail Bird. In order for me to pee without spraying, my urethra had to stay centered in the opening at the top of the cage.

The instructions for fitting had me measure my normal flaccid penis length. I had my Jail Bird made 1/4 inch shorter than my measurement. I learned that my penis didn’t stay in firm contact with the top of the cage. Over many months and a couple of changes to the length of my cage, I settled on a very short one-inch length. That was the shortest Mature Metal could make a cage five years ago.

shortened jail bird chastity device
At left, my original 1-1/4 inch Jail Bird. At right, the adjusted one that is only 1-inch long.

That short cage worked perfectly. It was comfortable to wear. The head of my penis stayed in firm contact with the top of the cage, and I could reliably pee standing up. The short cage was very comfortable. It was just a bit longer than the head. The compression didn’t hurt me a bit. I let my readers know about my success.

Apparently, others began buying shorter cages. Holy Trainer came out with their Nano model, which was quickly followed by the Nub. I tested both. Very recently, Mature Metal began making a Mini Jail Bird, my one-inch cage, and a Micro Jail Bird, which is even shorter. Mature Metal is making me a Micro Jail Bird. I’m excited to test it.

I want to think I had a small part in this evolution. Mrs. Lion successfully trained me never to masturbate. I haven’t jerked off in a decade. Whether or not I’m wearing a male chastity device, my lioness is my only sexual outlet. Male orgasm control is firmly in place. We’re both happy with how things worked out.

By:
In: Male Chastity
1 inch-long jail bird male chastity device
Mature Metal Jail Bird

I haven’t talked about male chastity devices much lately. I try to stay on top of developments in the field. I can’t say that I’ve seen anything new worth much attention. Maybe I’m missing something. Please let me know if there’s something new and wonderful out there. I do want to comment on devices that have worked for me.

First off, the cheap Chinese male chastity devices available everywhere are worth exactly what you pay for them. If you want a toy for short playtimes, a $45 device might work. However, most are too uncomfortable to wear for more than a day or two.

holy trainer nub v5
Holy Trainer Nub

If you want a device that you can wear 24/7, it pays to invest in a quality device. HolyTrainer makes a range of quality off-the-shelf devices that, if sized properly, are amazingly comfortable. I love the v5 Nano and Nub. There are Chinese knockoffs that look the same. They aren’t. Holy Trainers are made of a special, organic plastic that feels amazing against my skin. The cheap Chinese stuff has sharp edges and is made of an inferior plastic. I haven’t found any other off-the-shelf male chastity devices that I like nearly as well.

Bespoke male chastity devices offer the best chance for a perfect fit. I’ve tried many custom devices. My favorite is the Mature Metal Jail Bird. This male chastity device can be worn continuously for years when correctly fitted. I wore one for three years. Mrs. Lion removed it for teasing and orgasms. Once a month or so, I showered without it and cleaned it in an ultrasonic cleaner. I did everything but try to go through airport security with it on.

It took a while to get the fit right. Mature Metal will make adjustments at a reasonable cost. I learned a few lessons about getting a good fit. My key takeaways are: The base ring should be just small enough to prevent balls from escaping if worn without the device. Most men end up with a 1.75-inch (45 mm) base ring. The cage length is a lot less critical than I originally thought. I ended up with a very short one-inch length for the cage. I needed it to be short enough so that the head of my penis always stayed in firm contact with the front of the cage. Peeing was neat and easy when I got that short cage. The diameter should be just a bit narrower than the relaxed width of your flaccid penis.  A little too wide is a lot better than a little too narrow.

The key to success is comfort. The male chastity device is intended to discourage masturbation. It doesn’t have to be escape-proof. You are a grown man who should have enough self-control to resist pulling out of a device to jerk off. The male chastity device is part of a fun power exchange that you asked for. Your male chastity device is there to prevent erections and discourage jerking off. It should be so comfortable that you can forget it’s there.