By:
In: ED

When a man can’t reach orgasm or needs excessive stimulation to get there, it’s a condition called anorgasmia or delayed orgasm. This has been my problem. I figured that I had reached the end of the line and would have to give up sex.

You probably know about Viagra and Cialis. These drugs help some men get better erections. They work by helping the blood flow into the penis. They don’t cause erections. They help when a man is sexually aroused. When that doesn’t work, injections of Trimix or one of its relatives are used. These injections produce erections whether or not the man is aroused. None of these drugs assure that the man will have an orgasm.

Trimax will make me hard. It’s a reliable-but-expensive way to get a boner. Mrs. Lion has been trying to get me off for almost eighty days. I can’t get over the top. I get excited and my Trimix-induced erection gets even harder. After a while, my excitement goes away. It’s like a switch is turned off. I stay hard thanks to the Trimix, but I’m no longer aroused.

I saw my sexual dysfunction urologist on Tuesday and told her about this problem. To my surprise she said that there’s a drug that will probably help. A pill to make me horny enough to ejaculate? Yup, that’s what she said. I never heard of such a thing; a sex pill to make me have an orgasm. Wow!

I picked up the prescription yesterday and took the first dose. The drug is called cabergoline. It inhibits prolactin, a hormone that is believed to affect the male orgasm. It was observed that men who ejaculated prematurely had low levels of this hormone in their bloodstream. Men with anorgasmia had high levels. Cabergoline inhibits that hormone. It was developed as a treatment for Parkinson’s. Baylor University did a study to find out if cabergoline improved men’s ability to climax. It did in over half the men1. That’s what I’m going to try. It’s even covered by my insurance!

Unfortunately, there have been very few studies on the sexual effects of cabergoline. The small studies that have been done suggest that the drug can help with sexual interest and arousal, erections, orgasms, and increased seminal fluid. The drug can have serious side effects that range from headache, constipation, and diarrhea to lowered blood pressure and depression. Report any issues to your health care team.

High prolactin levels in women are associated with lactation. This drug is sometimes used to help with that. There is some evidence that reduced prolactin levels in women also increase libido2. Granted, the data is sparse, but it’s worth considering. I asked Mrs. Lion to get her prolactin levels checked. It seems logical that if a hormone can affect male sexuality, why not affect female sexuality as well?

I took my first dose of cabergoline (2.5mg) on Wednesday afternoon. This dose is half of the typical amount men take for these conditions. It’s standard to start with the lower dose. I suppose it shakes out potential side effects and may turn out to be enough. In the past, I wrote about my poor semen production (“Of Course“). That post was over a year ago. Wouldn’t it be great if these little pills not only increased my libido but also brought back the semen that Mrs. Lion loves so much?

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1Hollander, A. B., Pastuszak, A. W., Hsieh, C., Johnson, W. G., Scovell, J. M., Mai, C. K., & Lipshultz, L. I. (2016). Cabergoline in the Treatment of Male Orgasmic Disorder—A Retrospective Pilot Analysis. Sexual Medicine, 4(1), e28. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.esxm.2015.09.001
 
2Galdiero M, Pivonello R, Grasso LF, Cozzolino A, Colao A. Growth hormone, prolactin, and sexuality. J Endocrinol Invest. 2012 Sep;35(8):782-94. doi: 10.1007/BF03345805. PMID: 23014134.

 

 

By:
In: Spanking, ED

I am still having a lot of trouble in the orgasm department. I can’t explain it. Everything goes fine for a while, then, my arousal drops off. It’s a strange feeling. If the main source of my ED is psychological, maybe my inability to orgasm also is. Mrs. Lion’s start at a new, stricter domestic discipline regime seems to have helped me get an erection without Trimix. Perhaps the consistent application of her paddles will also fix my inability to ejaculate.

Yesterday, Mrs. Lion tried to get me off. She didn’t spank me. This fits an old pattern where I either get sex or spanked. There’s no rule that says we can’t do both. Mrs. Lion just doesn’t seem able to do two things on the same day. I’ve observed this in the past. I don’t think this is a conscious decision. I think this needs to change if we are going to continue her spanking experiments (“Time for 300 Swats Again?“) and keep trying to get me off.

We are both creatures of habit and have to work consciously to build patterns we want to sustain. We are both very good at falling off the wagon and losing progress we have made. One reason that locking me in a chastity device was helpful was that it forced us to build sexual habits that are still serving us well. Even though I don’t wear a chastity device, there is absolutely no doubt that any sexual release I get comes from Mrs. Lion. We’ve been less successful with discipline.

I’m not saying we haven’t made huge progress in that department. Mrs. Lion has gone from being incapable of making me feel her swats to very skilled at making me yelp and feel the results of a spanking for more than three days. It’s even more impressive that she’s learned to administer severe spankings without causing herself any emotional distress. She may not like beating me, but she certainly doesn’t mind doing it. The remaining hill to climb is remembering to spank me frequently and punish me for any annoyance I give her. If that means daily spankings until the disciplinary habit is formed, then that’s what we should do.

When Mrs. Lion goes into “experiment” mode, she tends to be more creative in how she spanks me. I think she likes trying new techniques. She doesn’t do that when she punishes me. At those times, she sticks to the tried-and-true spanking methods that she knows will maximize my discomfort. If she finds a new technique she likes during an “experiment,” she’ll add it to her punishment repertoire. I suspect she will add her “deep crack” swats to my punishments.

The last time she spanked me, she spread my cheeks wide and applied a paddle right down to my anus. Her swats were mild, but I expect they will get much harder once her confidence builds. She also paid attention to a lot more of my real estate. It felt like she was trying to make every square inch of my bottom equally sore. This required her to lift loose flesh with one hand while hitting with the other.

That spanking felt more deliberate. It wouldn’t be quite correct to say that I liked it better than other spankings. I don’t like any of them. I’m saying that it felt different in a good way, for now. Several years ago, when Mrs. Lion did her “300 swat” experiments, they started out like Tuesday’s. The pain level was medium, and I could feel Mrs. Lion trying new things. Each night, as her experiments progressed, the pain rapidly increased as she applied what she learned with much more force. I expect that her deep crack work will follow that pattern. The big question is whether frequent, escalating spankings will cure my delayed orgasm problem. If they do, I may never sit comfortably again.

By:
In: ED, Domestic discipline

My hunt for an orgasm continues. I decided to try Cialis again. No luck. No erection. I’m wondering if I go back to Trimix and try a smaller dose if that might work. I know that at .30 ml I don’t get a full erection, but there is some hardening. My theory is that if the drug makes my penis numb, maybe a smaller dose will let some sensation through and still give my boner a headstart. If Mrs. Lion is up for it, we can try on Saturday or Sunday.

I know that many men give up at this point. I can identify with that. Sex is becoming too much trouble. The problem for me is that I still really want it. That may be how I’m wired. Sex has always been very important to me. Years ago, I had a conversation with a friend who happened to be a diabetes specialist. She mentioned that some drugs that could help me would also hurt my sex drive. The conversation drifted toward the topic of death or sex.

The question was would I take a drug that would extend my life by ten years but prevent me from having sex? My answer then was that I would rather have a shorter life. I didn’t hesitate for a second. Sex is like breathing. Both are required for life.

Now I’m at a point where I can’t have sex. My hardware isn’t working. What happens if it can’t be repaired? Do I gracefully recede into a neutered being? Do I live on the rich memories of past conquests? Sounds depressing and creepy to me. What happens to our domestic discipline? Mrs. Lion seems less inclined to punish me since I lost my ability to ejaculate.

I know there shouldn’t be a connection between my ability to orgasm and our disciplinary marriage, but there is. It isn’t obvious. It also doesn’t mean that domestic discipline is sex play. It’s part of the tapestry we created that includes a wide range of sexual and power-exchange activities. Make a change in one thread, and the pattern is disrupted.

It seems to me that the most reasonable way to deal with this is to adjust our expectations. I am absolutely willing to stay with our domestic discipline regardless of issues with my penis. The DD has proven to be a very helpful part of our marriage. Since we started, communications are very good and issues come out promptly and positively. Let’s keep the spankings going. They help us both.

By:
In: ED

We tried again with no luck. The injection produced a very good erection. I like how it feels when I get hard. Mrs. Lion did her level best to get me off, but alas, no luck. I get aroused then the feeling disappears. The “spot” is sort of numb; no sexual feeling at all when stimulated. I don’t get it. It may be related to the Trimix. I’ve contacted my urologist to see if she can help sort it out.

I didn’t expect this new issue. There was no warning that this was possible. I guess we can keep trying. If it is the Trimix, maybe a smaller dose will help. For this last try, I reduced the dose to .35 ml. It produced a good boner. Next time, I’ll back off to .30. That didn’t produce a full erection the last time I tried it  I’m thinking that Mrs. Lion’s nice, soft mouth can bring in the rest of the needed blood flow. It’s worth a shot.

Maybe I should give up.  Maybe my time is up, and sex is no longer something I can enjoy. Lots of couples give up on sex. Mrs. Lion is done with it. I’m sure she’d be happy if she didn’t have to get me off. I don’t feel very good about it. I can adapt, right?

Maybe I need to find something else to write about. You have to be getting tired of reading about my sexual failures. If Mrs. Lion locks me up in my Jail Bird, we can pretend she controls my orgasms. That way, as the days turn to weeks and the weeks to months, I can rationalize my lack of orgasms as part of our male chastity play. That won’t work. We both know the truth.

I guess the thing to do is continue experimenting and see what the doctor says. Maybe I’m not done yet.