Domestic discipline (Page 10)

We sometimes draw criticism because we discuss spanking in either a sexually-oriented tone or treat it as funny. Our critics say that means we don’t really practice domestic discipline. We are just doing BDSM play.  This came to mind when Mrs. Lion suggested we get a personalized license plate referencing spanking. I won’t go into specifics, but there are lots of references that would get past state censors. This isn’t the first time she’s made a humorous reference to her role. We drove through a town called Toppenish, and she commented that it was her city.

It’s true that in past years we did BDSM spanking. Well, she spanked me. Once we got into domestic discipline, I asked that we stop play spankings because they would confuse me. Spankings were a punishment, not play. OK, I admit that I was being a little extreme. I can certainly understand when I’m being punished. Anyway, Mrs. Lion agreed and since then all spankings have been part of our disciplinary marriage.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy the eroticism of spanking. And yes, we do make jokes about it sometimes. We’re not always serious and solemn about our domestic discipline dynamic. We’re human and we have a sense of humor.

We take domestic discipline very seriously and believe in it wholeheartedly. It’s not just a sexual kink or a way to be funny. We believe it’s a way to improve our relationship and ourselves as individuals. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun along the way.

So, to our critics who think we’re not really practicing domestic discipline because we make jokes or see the eroticism in it, we say: lighten up. We believe in what we’re doing, and we’re committed to it. But we’re also not going to take ourselves too seriously or lose our sense of humor.

we don’t see things exactly the same way

It’s obvious that Mrs. Lion and I have different perspectives on spanking. She doesn’t mind spanking me and is comfortable doing it when she feels I need it. She is amused by her role and enjoys occasionally teases me about mine. She knows that the mild, private-joke humiliation turns me on. A license plate that indirectly references that she spanks me is a good example. She’s right. I get excited when she references her role that way.

I think that her lighthearted approach to punishing me adds value to our disciplinary marriage. Aside from turning me on, her references remind me that it is funny that a grown man needs his wife to spank him to correct his behavior. It also reminds me how embarassing it would be for me if others learn what she does. We had a paddle that hung near the door to our camper that had “Hers” on the handle and “His” on the business end. It was visible to anyone who visited or looked into the front door. Aside from being a very good reminder for me, it was a sort of public announcement that she spanks me.

Most people would consider that paddle as a sort of marital joke. No one asked if she really used it, but we knew the truth. We used to have a similar paddle hanging on a magnetic hook on our refrigerator. There is was for all to see, proof that someone was getting spanked. I don’t know what happened to that paddle. Maybe Mrs. Lion should hang the camper paddle on our refrigerator and use it once in a while like she used to. [Mrs. Lion — It’s been on the refrigerator since we sold the camper. We just don’t tend to be in the kitchen together that often.] [Lion — Maybe it needs to come off the door now and then. After being applied to my rear end, I’m sure I would remember it was there.]

The kitchen paddle encouraged a sort of informal opportunity to spank. We’ve gone away from that and punishments are all ten-minute spanking bench visits. I’m not suggesting that Mrs. Lion change that. Those spankings work. However, maybe some on-the-spot paddling would be useful. For example, if I do something annoying, a “bend over” spanking would be useful. Then, later, we would have a spanking bench session.

There was something intimate and sort of fun (until I felt the swats) about those impromptu spankings. They seemed to work for both of us. On-the-spot spanking is effective for me since it happens at the time of misbehavior. I think it’s effective for Mrs. Lion because it reinforces her “catch and punish” approach that she enjoys. As much as the spanking bench is needed, I think it doesn’t satisfy Mrs. Lion the same way as taking a short spanking break when I need reminding.

Maybe this is a sort of play spanking. It doesn’t feel like one to me, but it isn’t given with the purposefulness of my disciplinary spankings. These spankings are in the same sort of spirit as the funny license plate or the paddle hanging in plain view. Mrs. Lion can give me one of these just because she feels like it. The point is that it lightens the mood around our roles. Nothing changes in terms of our domestic discipline, but it gives both of us something we need. I think we’ve forgotten that aspect over the last few years. Maybe Mrs. Lion should bring it back. I’d like that.

Note: Just for fun, I inputted the first two paragraphs of this post into chatGPT. It responded with an amazingly good continuation of the story. I included it in this post. It fitted seamlessly and unless I put in this note, I don’t think anyone could tell that a chatbot wrote part of this post. ChatGPT wrote, “But that doesn’t mean… to the subhead about Mrs. Lion and I seeing things differently. It blew my mind how well the bot got things right. By the way, our site is included in the dataset that trains ChatGPT.

I love to read what other people have to say about things that interest me. It’s fascinating to read how other men perceive their disciplinary relationships. I’ve noticed that there seem to be two major schools of thought. One focuses on the disciplinary process. Those men write about their fantasies of being scolded and spanked. Some want to be able to cry as part of the process. The other is more about spanking itself. There is a sexual component that makes spanking a hot fantasy. Discipline is part of it, but not what gets the motor running.

I’ve noticed that guys who come from the scold, spank, and cry fantasies are often upset by those of us who get turned on thinking of being spanked. We are often accused of being into BDSM, not domestic discipline. I think that this sort of debate is a product of the Internet. If we met in person and discussed our origins, we would probably find we had a lot in common.

I regularly piss off some of the scold, spank, and cry guys when I refer to sexual fantasies at the root of my interest in DD. Ironically, the same now-defunct website, Disciplinary Wives Club, provided the fodder for both sides of the DD origin story. I went back and read it to see if I could understand what I must have missed years ago. I think I now know.

The site talked about spanking in graphic terms. It discussed exactly how to spank a man, according to the author, Aunt Kay. The explanations were graphic enough to titillate those of us who have eroticized spanking as well as those who dream of disciplinary scenarios. It’s all there. I also think I’m starting to see why the disciplinary scenario guys get so defensive when sex is brought into the mix.

the non-sexual side is much closer to reality

A large percentage of the writing I’ve found on the subject generally has the man about to be spanked being sexually aroused. The text goes on to say that the erection disappears quickly when he feels his bottom being hit. This maps to my initial experiences with domestic discipline. I was aroused when Mrs. Lion told me to get into position for punishment. My erection disappeared less than a minute after she started spanking me. It was my sexual interest in being spanked, coupled with a strong desire to give my wife more power that motivated me to ask her to do this to me.

I didn’t have any fantasies about how the punishment would play out. I never imagined being scolded, though after reading the DWC site, I suggested it to Mrs. Lion. I thought about being made to cry because I read about that too, but I had no strong desire to do that. My initial motivation was to be spanked for a reason, not as part of BDSM play.

From what I read, the disciplinary guys came at DD from a different direction. They seem to have pictured themselves in punishment scenarios where they did something wrong, and their wives took them to account. This process included scolding them and spanking them until they were sorry. The guys who come from this direction almost never write about the spankings they get. They focus on why they are being punished, should others know they are spanked, and behavioral issues that might or might not get them in trouble.

Both sides put spanking at the center of domestic discipline. We agree that spankings need to be severe enough to make us regret our misdeeds. This is where the similarities end. The disciplinary guys want to perfect the process that goes with and after the spanking. We all agree it has to hurt a lot to work. We all agree we need to regret our transgressions and try harder to avoid repeating them. They also want an effective scolding. It’s a key part of their disciplinary fantasy. I don’t need one. All I need is to be aware of why I’m being spanked. Over the years, I’ve learned that my unconscious will steer me in the right direction without my conscious help.

I’m not sure why acknowledging that the idea of being spanked is arousing causes so much distress. I can see why detailed descriptions of the spankings themselves can be less interesting to some. I can’t know what other men feel. It’s absolutely possible that some don’t feel any arousal at the thought of their wives spanking them. I’m not sure my arousal is actually about being spanked as much as it is about submitting to her punishment.

Mrs. Lion’s wise approach to punishing me has removed any fantasy component. I still like the thought of her spanking me. I absolutely don’t get aroused when she wants me to ride the spanking bench. We both agree that domestic discipline is a helpful part of our marriage. When all is said and done, isn’t that enough?