No Frills Domestic Discipline

Domestic discipline seems very similar to male chastity. At least, it does to me. Let me explain. If you strip away the fantasies and conversations about roles, domestic discipline is punishing a spouse for behavior that both partners consider unacceptable. Like male chastity, domestic discipline is almost always initiated by the man who asks to be spanked. That makes a lot of sense because consent is the bedrock of any disciplinary relationship.

I decided to suggest this because it seems to me that a big reason many men are unable to get their wives to spank them is the burden of assuming the role of leader. Roles in a marriage are very complex and not easily or safely changed. Mrs. Lion and I didn’t negotiate our roles. For a while, I thought we had a female-led relationship (FLR) because she could punish me when she felt I needed discipline. She was never comfortable with that.

Our marriage doesn’t have a designated leader. Roles evolved over years of living as partners. When I thought about it, I realized that I didn’t want that to change. We were comfortable with the division of labor. We didn’t have much trouble resolving differences without fighting or bad feelings. Why change something that works?

I wanted to feel Mrs. Lion’s control. I wanted her to help me improve. Domestic discipline seemed the best way to do that. But how do we institute DD without creating some sort of FLR? The bottom line is that we don’t need to do that. For us, domestic discipline is giving Mrs. Lion the ability to make and enforce rules. She has the right to punish me if I break one of her rules. She can also punish me if my behavior hurts her. I completely support this change.

I didn’t surrender my role in our marriage. I simply asked my wife to create and enforce boundaries that help me improve and make life better for her. You could argue that I surrendered power by doing that. She doesn’t agree. I asked for help. Maybe it’s help delivered with a paddle and not everyone’s cup of tea, but it works for us. It took time to add this feature to our marriage. It also took a lot of time to incorporate male chastity. So what?

We have our personal flavor of domestic discipline. Make no mistake; it isn’t BDSM. Mrs. Lion takes her job seriously. I don’t want to be punished. When I break a rule, I get spanked. It’s no fun. It doesn’t make Mrs. Lion a power-hungry monster. She does what has to be done every time it’s needed. No fuss, no muss, and most importantly, no FLR.