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In: 2.0, Lion's Journal

Mrs. Lion has defined “lioness 2.0” as the stricter, more consistent version of herself. She’s said that 2.0 will spank harder and longer. She will expect results. She won’t be interested in how I feel about it. Follow my rules or else! That is what she aspires to reach as a disciplining wife. I’ve been thinking about this in a slightly different way.

If I look more deeply into our domestic discipline, there is evidence that there is a significant barrier that prevents the arrival of 2.0. Consider a pattern we have established. Mrs. Lion is comfortable punishing me for spilling food on my shirt, eating first, or forgetting to remind her of punishment day. All of these infractions are minor and in no way can be considered true annoyances for her.  But when I interrupt her, she is really bothered. I have a rule in place that I should never interrupt her. I do anyway. And, interestingly, I’m almost never punished for doing it.

I have a theory: The rules like spilling food are more play than real. They can easily be seen as part of a sexy, BDSM game with painful consequences for me. Mrs. Lion is happy to work harder at spotting offenses and punishing me for committing them. But when I interrupt, there isn’t a word, much less a beating, for doing it. I think that punishing me for things that really bother her makes domestic discipline too real to my lioness.

It’s a line that separates serious discipline from the game. I think Mrs. Lion understands this. Lioness 2.0 lives on the non-game side of domestic discipline. When 2.0 arrives, any annoyance, especially interrupting, will result in considerable suffering for me. Yes, the game will still be there. That’s what keeps me coming back and willing to suffer punishments. But the tone will be different. Just as I work to avoid eating first, I will be very careful not to interrupt or do anything else that will result in 2.0 punishing me.

I’ve been wondering why the wall between 1.0 and 2.0 is so high. Maybe Mrs. Lion is worried that getting serious will hurt our relationship. Perhaps becoming 2.0 requires some internal changes as well. As long as it is a game, the balance of roles remains as it always was. Yes, she is in control. But that control is a component of a game I want to play. When she is 2.o, it’s not my game anymore. It’s her real authority. That’s a dramatic change for both of us.

Obviously, Mrs. Lion could just add interrupting to her game rather than make the more profound change to 2.0. I don’t think she’ll do that. We both realize that regardless of which rule is being enforced, 2.0 seriously wants me to change and 1.0 doesn’t care. It’s not just a game to 2.0.

From my perspective, maybe I am better off with 1.0. She’s learned to make spankings hurt. 2.0 will make them more memorable. I think that 2.0 will also use additional childish punishments to make her point. She isn’t playing the game. She uses my need to play to get the cooperation she needs to make me change any way she wants.

Mrs. Lion says she feels that 2.0 is close. If so, our world will change. I don’t think the change will hurt us as a couple, but it will be a game changer for me

By:
In: 2.0, Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Power Exchange

In her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion posited that most women don’t want to punish their men and correct their behavior. She believes that they do this because the men want it. That is certainly true in her case. There is no question that I want it. After all, domestic discipline, like any power exchange is a consensual activity.

I’ve read an interesting theory on why men want this control and are willing to submit to humiliating and painful punishment. After all, we tend to be bigger and stronger than our mates, yet we meekly submit. The theory suggests that there is a sort of game aspect to domestic discipline and male chastity.

It’s a sexy game that, at least in my case, appeals to me on a very deep, sexual level. I love the idea of being controlled and I get aroused thinking of being punished. The reality turns out not to be sexy at all. But yet I hold on to those thoughts and want to keep playing.

The other side of this isn’t a game at all. It’s a real power exchange that gives Mrs. Lion the ability to help me change undesirable behaviors, like interrupting. It gives her real control over me. She’s said that she doesn’t want this control, but takes it because I want her to do it.

I believe her. She used to say the same thing about enforced chastity. Then, at some point she realized that controlling me sexually was delivering real benefits to our relationship. It stopped being something she does just to please me and turned into something for us both.

The jury is still out on domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion doesn’t like making and enforcing rules. She dislikes punishing me even more. She does it because she knows it’s something I want (need). I wonder if, at some point, she will find value in it for both of us.

If she really believes that women in general dislike being in a dominant position with their men, she will never be able to make the connection. In some sense, she is right. I suspect that many women rationalize their control. Some learn to see humor in spanking and using other childish punishments on their husbands. Their focus is on the humiliating nature of what they do to them and find it funny.

For them, spanking is actually fun. They enjoy the rush of power and the childlike reactions from their men.
I see nothing wrong with that. It actually feeds the male fantasy. Humiliation is definitely part of the equation, at least for me. Mrs. Lion, when lioness 2.0 arrives, will join the ranks of women who like the predicament that their husbands have created for themselves. It’s funny to see that what started as a game has become so much more.

In the meantime, we men meekly get our mouths soaped and our bottoms spanked. It is, after all, what we want.

By:
In: 2.0, Lion's Journal

Mrs. Lion came across an interesting video on Facebook.  It was about a new device that looks a little bit like a Fitbit. It’s a black wristwatch shaped device with what appears to be colored symbols scattered across the face. Apparently, this little gadget has the capability of enforcing hundreds of rules, presumably programmed deep in its bowels. The idea is that when a rule is broken, the wearer will receive a small electric shock on his wrist.

Sound familiar? Imagine that, a gadget that will punish its wearer when someone else decides correction is needed. I’ve been wearing something like that strapped to my balls for well over a year. The big difference is that the Fitbit version apparently contains a preprogrammed library of naughty things. My remote correction device allows my lioness to use her cell phone to correct me for any behavior she decides she doesn’t like.

It’s unclear why someone would wear the Fitbit device. Apparently it doesn’t lock on but there were some motivation to wear it. Presumably it’s rule set provides corrections for things the wearer wants to receive punishment for. The device is part of a cooperative effort between the wearer and its electronics.

Our example is far more complex. In my case, wearing it is not voluntary. If I forget to put it on when we are ready to go out, I will be spanked quite severely to remind me not to make that mistake again. I admit that I find the idea of wearing it exciting. It’s arousing in the same way that wearing a chastity device feels. It’s a surrender of control that has real consequences that extend far outside the boundaries of BDSM.

Since I’ve had some extra time to browse the web, I had a chance to explore other kinky sites; some that I never read before. The most popular sites appear to be the ones that are about spanking. I suppose this very primal form of power exchange is easiest to consume both as the spanker and recipient. Spanking, in one role or the other, is one of the most prevalent sexual fantasies. It’s very hot to read about spanking experiences. As I’ve painfully learned, the reality isn’t nearly as interesting sexually. It doesn’t take more than a few swats before any erection has turned into a shriveled little mass of flesh shrinking from the next  swat it knows is coming.

But  still, the memories of hundreds of scream-provoking spankings can’t keep my penis soft when I read those hot spanking posts.  It shouldn’t be surprising that I like  the idea  of strapping on the painful remote-control, shock collar. I know full well that the touch of Mrs. Lion’s  finger will hurt enough to make me yelp.

I’m not displaying any great desire to improve myself through the use of external stimulus.  While it’s true that I want to learn better obedience, motivation to wear that nasty little remote control device doesn’t emanate from that little glow of goodness. Just as with spanking and enforced chastity, there is a heavy dose of sexual heat driving my compliance. Like most guys who are into this sort of thing, it’s a turn on to imagine that my partner wants to take advantage of this sexual motivation to enhance her control.

That’s rarely, if ever, the case. Too bad! It’s very rare to find a partner who actually needs the level of control people like me seek. As I read these spanking stories, it occurs to me that there is nothing wrong with different but complementary motives driving  a power exchange.

On my side, it’s the strong psychosexual motivators that got me into this mess in the beginning. That doesn’t mean other, more important motives have entered the picture. But it does mean that the very primal needs that drove my original explorations are still present and available for exploitation.

From the controlling partners perspective, since there really isn’t any strong motive to enhance control perhaps a more recreational motive can be inserted. In our case, there are very real needs and desires we both share that drive most of our day-to-day activities. Mrs. Lion  gets real satisfaction watching my behavior improve as a direct result of her control over me.

So, if it’s working, what motive would she have to find ways to become even more effective. If I am meeting her goals and she is happy with her methods of punishment and reward, why mess with a good thing. Of course, she knows that I do like that sexual twinge again when she does  something new.  Mrs. Lion likes games. She enjoys perfecting her play. What if she thought about increasing her control as part of a real life game? She has a toolkit completely under control-my deep sexual need for this sort of activity.

I wonder what sort of games she could invent if she turned her mind in this perverted direction?

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In: 2.0, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion and a coworker made me realize that 2.0 will be needed for more than just the regular rules after Lion’s surgery. Beginning almost immediately, he’ll need to start physical therapy. Obviously not on his shoulder itself, but his wrist and elbow need movement to keep them from freezing up. He’ll be in pain. He won’t want to move. It’s my job to make him move.

Not only does he need to move his arm, he needs to walk too. And Lion has said he’ll have cabin fever within a few days anyway. As we were walking around Costco yesterday, I said it would be a good place to walk after surgery. It’s indoors and it’s huge. We don’t even necessarily have to buy anything. We can just stroll around for exercise.

Nurse 2.0 will have to make sure he’s taking his medicine correctly and eating and drinking. Lion is worried about becoming addicted to the pain meds. I don’t think there’s much risk of that, but I’ll keep an eye on him. When he’s on pain meds, he tends to stop eating and drinking. Nothing tastes right. Too bad. Water has no taste. He needs to drink enough. And he can’t heal if he doesn’t eat.

Lion has promised he’ll do his exercises. He’s got a vested interest in doing them. The better he follows the physical therapy instructions, the faster he’ll get better. I’m sure he doesn’t want 2.0 badgering him anymore than necessary.