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In: Sex, Spanking

Mrs. Lion didn’t post yesterday because we spent 12 hours on the road. We drove south of Portland, OR, to meet our new puppy. She is a beautiful English cream-colored golden retriever. She’s just under seven weeks old. We will be able to bring her home in a little over a week. She is wonderful! It was love at first sight.

Mrs. Lion spanked me on Tuesday night. Mrs. Lion swatted me for more than fifteen minutes–ten for the “just because” and five more for not setting up the coffeepot. It was horrible. By the time she finished, I was sweating and near tears. I’m sure she will write more about it in her post later today. She took a picture, so you will be able to see the results. I’m feeling them now as I sit at my desk.

I woke up on Wednesday morning with an erection. That hasn’t happened in a while. Mrs. Lion thinks my spanking is the reason. It’s true that I’m horny. I would prefer to believe it is due to how long it’s been since my last orgasm. On our drive back from Oregon, I said that I think twice-weekly spankings are too much. I’m not so sure. Mrs. Lion should probably follow that schedule until she has more data.

The marks on my bottom are not from a recent spanking. When this photograph was taken, I hadn’t been spanked in more than two weeks.

One byproduct of frequent spankings is discoloration of my hindquarters. There are marks that look a little like bruises but aren’t. When I checked out some spanking videos, I noticed that some of the guys being spanked looked like they had already been paddled. Now, I think the marks are like mine. What does this mean if a doctor sees me? Talk about embarrassing!

My second just because spanking is scheduled for tonight. The weather is cool, so I have no reason to ask for a delay or cancellation. I don’t really want to. I can’t deny the very visible evidence that there is a possible correlation between spanking me and my subsequent arousal.

By:
In: Sex

We, males, are genetically programmed to expect ejaculation to follow sexual arousal. Every woman knows the sequence of events. She knows that once erection is achieved, the launch sequence has begun. It’s “wrong” to get a man hard and not let him finish. There are subtle variations on this theme. In my experience, if the erection is spontaneous, that is, she didn’t touch my penis, then the woman generally doesn’t feel obligated to make me ejaculate. If she helps my erection along, then there is an implied promise to get me off.

It’s a simple transaction. If the woman didn’t intend to make me hard, she has no guilt if she ignores my arousal. This social convention has served humanity for a very long time. Unfortunately, it also sharply limits the amount of fun both sexes can have. Granted, the continuation of the species requires the traditional practice. We’re past that now.

Consider this: If a woman likes a man, or at least is attracted to him, she can freely touch him anywhere she wants. This includes his penis. She can consider his erection a compliment. He doesn’t expect her to make him ejaculate. Of course, he wants her to, but it isn’t expected. Exactly how the date ends is up to the couple.

This is how male chastity works. I love it when Mrs. Lion plays with my penis. I know that this play will get me very aroused and want to ejaculate. I also know that she feels no obligation to give me an orgasm. Almost all of the time, she stops before I can have an orgasm. Initially, I considered this a power exchange with Mrs. Lion. On one level, that’s true. On another, we have established a new sexual language. Stimulating my penis is not a signal I will get to have an orgasm.

My cock is just another area she can pet that I enjoy. There is no promise that I will ejaculate. In fact, it is understood that I won’t. I wonder how many women would enjoy petting their date’s penis if there was no implied promise of more. Would that increased level of intimacy provide a nice runway that eventually ends with orgasms for both?

If sexual touching is a nice thing people can do without any implied promises, we could all have more fun. Yes, we males are programmed to go for the gold if we get aroused. That doesn’t mean we can’t be trained to enjoy sexual touching without a happy ending. Wearing a male chastity device trained me. I’m having a very good time.

By:
In: Spanking, Punishment

You would think it wouldn’t be very difficult for me to remember setting up the coffee pot. It usually isn’t. On weekday mornings, Mrs.  Lion goes to work about 7:30. I head into my home office at about 8. At 9 or 9:30, I go into the kitchen for a cup of Keurig coffee. At the same time, I set up the coffee pot for the next morning. Easy Peasy. The trouble comes when our routine is broken. Then I can easily forget to do my chore.

The theory is that if I know that I will be painfully spanked if I forget, then making sure I do the chore will be top of mind. Over time, the habit will be solidly formed, and the activity will be automatic. It doesn’t work that way. The fear of punishment only persists as long as that punishment is well remembered. Many dominant women have written that behavior is changed for about a month before it reverts.

Nobody has any hard information on why this happens, but it seems fairly consistent across many people. I’m pretty sure after Mrs. Lion spanks me for not setting it up, I won’t slip again for about a month. Then, when the household routine changes for a day, I will forget. This has been going on for a long time. I don’t want a fifteen-minute spanking. Knowing Mrs. Lion, it will be more like twenty minutes of pain.

As soon as I realized what I did, I wanted to fix it. Of course, I couldn’t. I was instantly upset at the prospect of the punishment. Why did I forget? I just did. My routine wasn’t there to save me, and my memory of consequences faded enough to allowed me to forget the damn coffee pot.

It doesn’t help that Mrs. Lion likes catching me. That is fun for her. She doesn’t get turned on by spanking me, but she likes the challenge and enjoys doing a “good job.” I think she likes seeing my reaction when I’m caught. She will also enjoy working out a way to bruise every inch of my butt thoroughly. She’ll take souvenir photos when she’s done.

Some spankers focus on the punishment. Mrs. Lion does that, too, of course, but she also likes observing the effects of her efforts. Lately, she has taken to pointing out that large areas of my bottom are swollen from her paddling. She studies the pictures to assess any areas she might have missed. She is making sure that I will have no fun at all on the spanking bench.

She is a little different from many disciplinary wives in that she doesn’t lecture me. She brings in the spanking bench and expects me to assume the position. Without any conversation, she goes to work. She ignores any sounds I may make. She usually doesn’t speak until she is done. This is her style. I asked her to try telling me what I did to deserve the beating. She tried, but it didn’t work for her. I know why I am there. I hear her tell Alexa how long a timer to set. I don’t need to know anything. Maybe I need to find a way to stop getting into trouble.

By:
In: Lion's Journal
A pup like Willow

Konrad Lorenz was an Austrian zoologist who wrote many books on animal behavior. One of his most popular was Man Meets Dog. This book moved me when I read it many years ago. It’s a deeply personal account of his relationship with dogs. Some of his conclusions are scientifically incorrect, but his message is moving.

He wrote about the particular problem that Mrs. Lion and I are facing: handling the reality that dogs don’t live as long as we do. Our relationship with Daisy was as deep and strong as our love for a child and each other. She was a member of our family. We treasure our memories of her.

One of Lorenz’s points was that the best way to honor a dog we love who passes away is to get another of the same breed. He believed that while each dog is certainly an individual, there is a shared foundation that all members of that breed possess. Nine years ago, when our beloved golden retriever Lily died, I wasn’t sure I could handle the idea of giving my heart to a dog again. Mrs. Lion knew better. About two weeks after Lily passed, Mrs. Lion researched available pups. She found a breeder with goldens at a price we could afford.

She called them and arranged a visit. I agreed to go. I was still unsure of whether I wanted another dog. When we got to the kennel, and a herd of excited puppies scampered around our feet, I was hooked. They only had one female. Mrs. Lion picked her up and handed her to me. She didn’t look like a golden. She was light gold with short hair. Her tiny tail was wagging frantically. She didn’t try to squirm out of my arms.

We bought her. It was Daisy. She spent the ride home snoozing in my arms. It was obvious that she wanted to be with us. She went into her crate and spent the night sleeping. She never whined or complained. We were obviously meant for each other. Daisy was nothing like Lily. She was a bulldozer of a dog who pushed her way into anything that interested her.  We were both delighted. None of us regretted our adoption.

Daisy died a week ago. Daisy taught me that the best thing to do was to find another dog like her. I was wary. This time it was for a different reason. I didn’t want a dog who would end up with bad hips, knees, and eyes. It was those bad joints that put Daisy into such pain and forced her to leave us years early. I can’t face that again.

I didn’t know it at the time, or maybe it didn’t exist. The American Kennel Club has a marketplace for puppies. Only breeders who are members can advertise there. They also require breeders to show if their puppies’ parents were tested for the genetic weaknesses of the specific breed. Golden Retrievers have a genetic weakness for hips, knees, eyes, and heart problems. Decades of too much inbreeding have weakened the genetic pool for most breeds of dogs. In case you wondered, the same problems plague mixed breed dogs too.

I only looked at breeders who said that the parents of the pups were tested. It was surprising how many didn’t bother. Mrs. Lion and I are very fond of the nearly-white goldens. We first saw one on the sitcom, “Mom.” We thought it would be fun to have a dog that color. However, we didn’t make that a hard requirement.

It turned out that Mrs. Lion was doing a similar search and also ended up on the AKC site. When she got back from New York on Saturday, we compared notes. Several breeders within 250 miles had female puppies whose parents were tested. I called a few and left voicemails. The first breeder who returned my call was one whose pups looked great. We had a nice talk. She had two females available. One was spoken for, and the prospective owners were coming to decide which of the two they wanted. We could have the other one. There is a steep price for a dog so carefully bred. Fortunately, our pet health insurance (Trupanion) covered all but a few hundred dollars of Daisy’s hospital bill. I took money out of my 401k to pay for the hospital. We’ll use the money to buy this new puppy.

Because of the historic heat here, we agreed to put off our visit until Wednesday. The breeder is over 200 miles away. If we like the puppy–fat chance we won’t–we can get her in about a week. She is still too young to take away from her mother. I’m very happy with that timing. I’m still processing Daisy’s death.

I always believed that people needed time to process the loss of a dog before adopting a new one. My thought was that the new dog would be less loved because the former dog’s memory was too fresh. Konrad Lorenz was right. It feels like we are honoring Daisy by welcoming another pup into our lives. This dog won’t replace Daisy any more than Daisy replaced Lily. The new dog is a continuation of the circle of life. She will be named Willow. We welcome her into our family with our hearts full of love.