By:
In: ED, Erections

We are trying to adapt to the latest change in our sex lives. Now that I’m using Quadmix at a dosage that produces a decent erection for over two hours, we need to figure out what to do next. At this point, both of us are a little skittish. Even though I’m hard, I’m not feeling very aroused. I think that this is due to the newness of my chemically-induced boner. It feels like a regular erection, but not exactly the same.

For one thing, the process of preparing the strings, then injecting the drug into my penis isn’t very sexy. It’s exacting and requires my full attention to get it right. Then, I spend the next three minutes putting pressure on the injection spot. That’s needed to prevent bruising. Then I have to clean up and make sure that I put the Quadmix back in the fridge. My erection arrives regardless of what I’m doing. That feels weird. My penis is reacting without my brain’s help.

From my perspective, this is the hardest part of the process to manage. As I start to get hard, it feels exactly the same as it did when I got erect from physical or mental stimulation. It’s nice but confusing. I’m not turned on! Then I go into the bedroom to show Mrs. Lion what I made. She likes it and begins paying attention to it. I get myself across the bed, and she uses her mouth.

At that point, my brain is starting to catch up with my penis. It feels very good. I’m still worrying that my erection will fade. The drug-induced woody hurts a little. It’s the sort of psin I would sometimes get if I got too hard. It isn’t a bad feeling, but it’s distracting. That ache persisted the entire time I was hard. I’ve read about painful erections, but this is the first time I got a hint of what it might feel like.

Mrs. Lion suggested that I back off on the dose. That’s a good idea. I’m going to try again tonight (Friday) with the full .30 ml amount. We both want to verify that I get the same result tonight that I got earlier this week. If I do, the next time, I’ll try .25 ml and see if I still get about as hard, maybe without the small pain. Don’t get me wring, if it hurts a bit, I will still be happy. It will just be one more thing to learn to accept.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Here we are at another weekend. I’m pretty sure I won’t wind up on the roof because the new antenna and bracket have not arrived. I hope I’ll get some other stuff done around here, but Lion wants to “do something outdoors”. I’m not sure what that means. Is it having dinner outside? Is it a short road trip? In either case, I should have at least one day to accomplish something.

I learned another task at work yesterday. I’ve spent most of my day being confused. That’s not a good thing on a Friday. I’m considering switching back to something I understand for the rest of the day and getting a fresh start on Monday. I can only stare blankly at a screen for so long.

Lion suggested doing another boner injection this afternoon. This morning I told him maybe. I wanted to see how I felt as the day went on, knowing I’d have a confusing day at work. At this point, almost 2:30, I’d say we’re a go for boner juice. I think he’s doing the same dose to see if we can replicate the results. I’m under the assumption that he may react differently to the same dose on two separate occasions. If that’s true, how will we know when we actually have the correct dose? I’m not sure. We’re still at the trial and error phase. I guess we just hope for the best.

We’ve both talked about how we’ll incorporate play. I’m not sure we should consider it until we’ve found the correct dosage. It may put too much pressure on us. On the other hand, we may have a repeat of the other day when he was erect but not turned on. In the back of my mind, I keep thinking about him saying I need to get him a little excited before I put IcyHot on him (or any other type of play). It always seemed to be at cross-purposes. We’re playing to turn him on, but I have to get him turned on to play with him. The boner juice adds yet another layer. I still haven’t gotten my mind wrapped around how everything will work together.

By:
In: ED

Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful that I can get erections on demand. Sure, they’re expensive, but like a Kardashian divorce, they’re worth it. We have to get used to the process needed to produce one. It’s hardly romantic. When Mrs. Lion wants me hard, I have to fetch a syringe, alcohol wipes, and boner juice. Then I have to prepare the injection and give it to myself. Then we wait ten minutes or so for the drug to work. One reason my most recent experience didn’t end in orgasm was probably my preoccupation with this clinical process.

There’s something sad about needing to do all this just to get hard. It doesn’t feel very manly. Maybe I can rationalize this as a form of chemical male chastity. After all, without an injection, I’m unable to do anything sexual. Nope, it doesn’t feel the same as being locked into a male chastity device. It just feels like I am broken. That’s tough for me to accept. There’s nothing cool or sexy about it. If I want to get hard, I have to shell out twelve bucks for the drug and then give my penis an injection. I wonder if it’s worth it.

This isn’t just my problem. Mrs. Lion has to adapt to this new, synthetic sex. It isn’t all bad news. For one thing, my erection lasts about two hours. She loves CBT, and that long-lasting woody gives her a lot of time to torture me. No matter what she does, I won’t be able to get soft. The drug takes that out of my control. If she is interested, it does offer some unique opportunities for BDSM play.

All that aside, I have to come to terms with what it means to be impotent. Sex has always been a big deal to me. Losing the ability to get hard is a big blow to my male sexuality. I can’t help but wonder if it isn’t nature’s way of telling me to give it all up. I don’t want to, but I’m not willing to destroy myself either. I hate being in this position.

Oh well, at least I can get hard. I’m happy about that and happy that Mrs. Lion continues to enjoy me even if my boners are chemically induced.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion has been listening to his radio, trying to see how far his signal goes. Between that and hearing the license training videos he’s been watching, I’m no more enthused about getting this ham license than I was before. I understand it can be used in emergencies. I’m right there with him on that. However, I know I’m not going to use the radio except in emergencies, and then I’m likely to have forgotten my call sign. ‘This is KK7…….something, something, something. Maybe.” That won’t be super helpful. (I know Lion will point out that we can put labels on the radio with each of our call signs.)

One thing I am enthusiastic about is the new boner juice. Aside from the fact he’s concentrating on having an insertable erection, I’m happy to be able to suck my weenie again. Obviously, I could have sucked it all along, but we wouldn’t have gotten anywhere. Not that we got anywhere Tuesday night. He was hard but not really turned on. Once he gets the dose right, we’ll have to figure out how to use it to our advantage. If he’s not turned on, that’s a waste of boner juice.

Based on the length of time Lion stayed hard, we wouldn’t be rushed into sex. We could take our time with whatever type of play we want. The issue is that we haven’t played in a long time. How do we get back into the swing of things? Easier said than done. Spontaneity is pretty much gone. I can’t just roll over, grab my weenie and go from there. There are at least ten minutes between injection and playable boner. I guess we’ll figure it out.