By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

It probably comes as no surprise that we haven’t been doing anything sexual. My plan was to do a just because spanking Monday night. A new strap was delivered and we were going to test it out. With the dog in the hospital, I wasn’t sure if I’d feel up to it. Lion said we’d be better off if we maintained as much normalcy as possible. I tentatively agreed. Then things changed.

Unfortunately, I have to go out of town tomorrow. I don’t know if Lion would be horny anyway, but now he’ll be lonelier, which almost guarantees he won’t be horny. It’s another whirlwind trip so I’ll be back Saturday afternoon. Ironically, it’s supposed to be cooler in NY than it is in Seattle. The same thing happened when I went to Georgia. Sorry Seattle. I can only work so much magic.

I can’t snap my fingers and make Lion feel better once I get back, but at least we’ll have a shot at getting things back to normal. My cross-country trips will be done so I won’t have that hanging over my head. I think the next pain in the ass thing is taking the camper back so they can repair damage that happened on our trip home in March (April, May?) because things were not secured for us. Once that goes, it’s just regular, ordinary days one right after another until we need to pick the camper up again.

Anyway, back to the strap. I haven’t tested it out yet, but it looks heavy enough to restrain Lion. The problem with the other leather strap is that it was too short. I hope this one is long enough. I probably should be using more straps on him to keep his movement to a minimum. The luggage strap I’ve been using came as a set of four so I do have options.

Lion also said the new strap looks mean if it were used for other purposes. Hmmm. I hadn’t thought of that. I could repurpose the strap that’s too short as well. Good idea, my pet! He’s very skilled at getting himself in hot water.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

Monday was the summer solstice, the first day of summer, the longest day of the year. It was also the day we lost our best friend, Daisy. I’m sorry if you are tired of reading about this event. If you are, there are lots of blogs full of hot stories. I need to say a few more things. Back to business tomorrow. I promise.

If you aren’t a dog person, you probably can’t understand why losing our pet hits us more profoundly than when our parents died. Mrs. Lion suggested it was because Daisy didn’t want us to know what she was feeling. Her single goal was to be with us as long as she could. Dogs have no concept of the future. They have good memories, but they don’t understand tomorrow. Even if she could have visualized a way for the pain to end, I’m sure she wouldn’t have chosen it.

That’s what makes it so sad. All she wanted was to be with us. Even when she hurt so much that she couldn’t eat or drink, she made sure to find a way to get next to me for ear scratches and pets. At the worst of it, she forced herself to lie down next to me and rest her head on my hand. I knew she was suffering. We had trusted a local vet to help her. They didn’t even deal with the most obvious issues that we could see. I gave them a one-star Yelp review to try to help others avoid them.

We couldn’t get her help on Saturday. The emergency vets were booked solid. The same was true on Sunday. We got more insistent and got her into the best one in this part of the country. They made her comfortable and did lots of tests. I know she was sad. They sent us a picture of her on Monday morning. She looked sad and uncomfortable.

On Monday afternoon, they had finished tests and specialist consults. Daisy’s hips were inoperable. Blood work showed her to be healthy otherwise. Then the worst news. Her pupils were unequal. This is the sign of a stroke or other brain injury. I was still willing to bring her home if she could get pain relief. Sadly, there could only be partial relief. It would be very hard for her to live anything like a normal life.

There was no other choice. I don’t feel bad about deciding she needed to be put down. I feel horrible that she suffered so long. Our little dog was willing to endure the worst pain just for some ear scratches and pets. We spent her last moments with her. She came into a room at the hospital on her own paws. It was obvious it hurt horribly. She did her best to stay still for kisses and pets. She couldn’t. She paced. That was what she did at the worst of her pain.

This is Daisy on her last night. She was sedated, but obviously uncomfortable. She was just two weeks from her ninth birthday.

We kissed her goodbye. Both of us were crying. Daisy wasn’t too aware of us. I’m sure she knew we were there. The vet gave her a sedative. She laid down on a blanket on the floor and went to sleep. The vet gave a drug to stop her heart. I saw the life disappear from her eyes. She never closed them. I never felt worse in my life. I would have gladly traded places with her.

We got Daisy as an 8-week-old puppy. She came into our lives just two weeks after our 16-year-old golden retriever Lilly passed away. We comforted ourselves by imagining that Lily’s spirit was still with us. When Daisy got herself in trouble, Mrs. Lion would ask Lily to help her. To our surprise, Daisy stopped that behavior.

Just before Daisy died, Mrs. Lion said, “Daisy, look for Lily. She’ll help you find your way.” That is the saddest thing I ever heard. Tears are running down my face now. I really hope that Daisy found Lily. One day, I hope I will find them both.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

As you might expect, Lion and I had a rough night. It’s lonely without our fuzzy best friend. There are no ears to scratch. No one to let outside a hundred times a day. No snoring from under the bed.

We worried that we didn’t get her help soon enough. What if we had gotten her to the vet when she first lost interest in her toys? What if we had gotten her in when she first started growling at us? We can make ourselves crazy thinking about all the what-ifs. The truth is, we’ll never know what if. What I do know is that I got to be home with her during her puppy years, and Lion got to be home with her during her final years. I’m glad I took last Thursday and Friday off so I could be with her more. And I’m glad she’s not in pain anymore. Now “all we have to do” is work on our pain from losing her.

It occurred to me on the way home from our last visit with Daisy that I’m more upset about her passing (and our previous dog) than I was about my mother’s passing. Or my father, for that matter. I thought maybe it was because their deaths were imminent. I was prepared. This morning, however, I think it was because they knew about death. They understood that it would happen eventually. They may have tried to hide their pain, but they were able to let us know what was going on. Daisy couldn’t do that. Not only are dogs notorious for hiding pain, but they also can’t openly say, “Hey. You know what? My hips are on fire, and I just don’t feel like playing with my toys. I think I need a doctor.”

I wish there were a device like the dog had in “Up” that would translate dog into English. I wonder how often she was frustrated that we didn’t understand what she was trying to tell us. Not just recently, but over the years. “No, no, no. Not the green dragon. The purple one.” Did she shake her head wondering why we gave her the Beggin’ Strip rather than the Pupperoni she clearly wanted?

The only thing that I can come up with that worse than losing a pet is never having that pet in the first place. Thank you for all the smiles and “woo woo woos,” Baby Daisy.

By:
In: Lion's Journal
Daisy. July 5, 2012 — June 21, 2021

I spoke with our dog, Daisy’s vet, yesterday afternoon. They ran all sorts of blood panels and did an ultrasound of her abdomen. They didn’t find organic problems with her. However, her hips are inoperable. She has very severe arthritis in both hips and knees. There is nothing to be done to fix that.

Worse yet, her pupils are unequal. That is a sign of brain damage or stroke. One of her seizures may have done damage. There is no point in doing an MRI since we have no way to keep her out of pain. This pain has been going on for some time. She did her best to hide it. Golden retrievers are people pleasers and are known for this. Her priority was to make us happy.

We had to make the incredibly painful decision to let her go. I’m her human. She decided I belong to her. When Mrs. Lion was friendly in bed, Daisy would come over to the side of the bed and nudge me with her nose. One night, when she was only a couple of years old, she gave Mrs. Lion a dirty look when she was too affectionate with me. Of course, Daisy loved Mrs. Lion too.

I don’t want to be selfish. I know that she will do her best to cover up her suffering if we bring Daisy home. I can’t live with that. It’s going to be very hard living without Daisy. I’m writing this on Monday afternoon. We will be driving to the hospital to say goodbye. I know it is the right thing to do. It would be horribly selfish to do anything else.

It’s hard to type with tears in my eyes. Mrs. Lion and I always said to each other, “I love you more than anything, except the dog.” It was a little silly, but in a very real sense, we meant it. Daisy was a member of our family. I know that dogs have no idea of death. She will finally be out of pain. She will live on in our hearts.