Daisy. July 5, 2012 — June 21, 2021

I spoke with our dog, Daisy’s vet, yesterday afternoon. They ran all sorts of blood panels and did an ultrasound of her abdomen. They didn’t find organic problems with her. However, her hips are inoperable. She has very severe arthritis in both hips and knees. There is nothing to be done to fix that.

Worse yet, her pupils are unequal. That is a sign of brain damage or stroke. One of her seizures may have done damage. There is no point in doing an MRI since we have no way to keep her out of pain. This pain has been going on for some time. She did her best to hide it. Golden retrievers are people pleasers and are known for this. Her priority was to make us happy.

We had to make the incredibly painful decision to let her go. I’m her human. She decided I belong to her. When Mrs. Lion was friendly in bed, Daisy would come over to the side of the bed and nudge me with her nose. One night, when she was only a couple of years old, she gave Mrs. Lion a dirty look when she was too affectionate with me. Of course, Daisy loved Mrs. Lion too.

I don’t want to be selfish. I know that she will do her best to cover up her suffering if we bring Daisy home. I can’t live with that. It’s going to be very hard living without Daisy. I’m writing this on Monday afternoon. We will be driving to the hospital to say goodbye. I know it is the right thing to do. It would be horribly selfish to do anything else.

It’s hard to type with tears in my eyes. Mrs. Lion and I always said to each other, “I love you more than anything, except the dog.” It was a little silly, but in a very real sense, we meant it. Daisy was a member of our family. I know that dogs have no idea of death. She will finally be out of pain. She will live on in our hearts.

Listen to this post.


  1. I’m so sorry that you lost Daisy! Golden Retrievers are lovely dogs. They are gentle, friendly and very affectionate. My most sincere condolences to both you and Mrs Lion. She will leave a huge gap in your lives. But she is imprinted in your heart and memories.

    1. Author

      I can’t believe the hole she left. I’ve been home with her for the last 15 months. She’s been a wonderful companion when Mrs. Lion was at work. I feel selfish that I didn’t realize her pain sooner.

      1. She wasn’t able to tell you and it is likely that your presence gave her comfort!

        1. Author

          She told us. It was very clear that she was happy we were with her in the end. As the sedative took hold and she found relief, I know she was aware that we were with her. We still are.

    2. It is hard, but that is the price of true unquestioning love that she has given you. I am in tears for your loss.

  2. I am so sorry for you. A little over a year ago we had to let our blue heeler go to his final rest. He would have happily fought on just so we wouldn’t be sad, but he had a brain tumor that was inoperable and had been having trouble walking in a straight line among other issues. That final ride to the vet was the most miserable thing. I have lost family before (father-in-law and a nephew who passed in an auto accident at 18), but something about making the decision to end our faithful dog’s life was harder.

    His expression was of thanks as he slipped into his final sleep. He knew what was going on, and appeared to welcome the end of his pain and struggle.

    I know nothing can take away the sorrow you are feeling right now. It will fade, but will always be there, even years later. Try to remember the good times you had with Daisy more than the difficult and hard times.

    We, your online family, are thinking about you.

    1. Author

      Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Daisy’s last minutes were full of pain. She came to us and let us scratch her ears and kiss her. I know that she would have gladly suffered more just to keep us happy. My biggest regret was that we didn’t realize how bad it was for her earlier. I didn’t cry when I lost my parents. My father died when I was 16. I can’t stop myself from crying now. Daisy was willing to suffer just because she knew we loved her and wanted her with us.

    1. Author

      Thank you.

  3. I feel the pain even now after 10 years when I had to put our black lab. I still wake up at nite and imagin I can still hear his breathing or feel him looking to see if I am OK when I start to wheez. I have not had the nerve to get another dog because I don’t think I could do that again.

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