By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Sometimes, when I take Lion out for a spin, I wonder if I really need to edge him every time. What if I just got him hard and put him away? Would it have the same effect as edging him? Would he be just as horny afterwards? What if I never actually edged him at all during a wait? What if it was a short wait, four days or so, and I never edged him once? If I only got him hard and stopped before he really got to the edge, would he be as frustrated when the time came for his orgasm? Or does it send a different message?

Lots of questions. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I’ve never discussed it with Lion. I know he would say I should do what I want. I’m in charge. I don’t know what I want to do. What if it has some unintended consequence? What if he’s not as horny and isn’t ready for his orgasm? What if he thinks I don’t want to edge him anymore? What if he feels ignored/rejected/whatever else he might feel? So far, I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it even once. I know once won’t cause any permanent “damage”. I just don’t want him to miss out on what he’s looking for. If he expects to be edged, then I should edge him.

I guess it’s just my indecision rearing its ugly head again. Lion is right, I should do what I want. He needs no explanation as to why I’m doing a certain thing. If I’ve gotten it into my head that he should be tied down and have Icy Hot smeared on his balls every night this week, then that’s what should happen. Don’t worry, Lion. There’s no Icy Hot in your immediate future. But there might be a non-edging session.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

We get a lot of questions from readers. I’m sure other bloggers also get their share. What’s particularly interesting to me are the questions that aren’t asked. Here are some:

Don’t you get tired of spending all your days and nights locked in a chastity device?

My answer is: Yes, sometimes I get tired of constantly being locked up. Generally, I feel that way every few days, usually when I’m tired and grumpy. It doesn’t last. I mentally shrug and tell myself it is a small price to pay for the benefits we are both getting. Most of the time I am unaware I am wearing it. Of course, when I have to pee I become very aware of my plight. At those times I don’t regret the cage, I just make sure I don’t make a mess.

What about when you are very horny, are you still happy with the cage?

Probably the easiest part of enforced chastity for me is managing being horny. Of course I suffer when I’m edged and then put away unsatisfied. During the day I feel the need for that denied release. But I love that frustration too. It’s very hot to realize that I am completely unable to come and I depend completely on Mrs. Lion for release. I also think about the bad, old days when I was wild. Mrs. Lion would only rarely offer me release. When I got frustrated enough I would jerk off. That never felt all that good. What I have now is so much better. I do come a lot less than I did when wild. But when I do, it is amazing! Better yet, between orgasms I get teased almost every day. Mrs. Lion spends considerable time and effort getting me as aroused as possible without ejaculation. And she doesn’t just do it once. She does it over and over until I want to beg for release. Of course that does not good. I only get to come when she wants. I get no vote. Now isn’t that hot? I think so!

You’ve been doing this for nearly two years. Hasn’t this become routine?

Yes and no. Wearing the cage has become part of me. Even when Mrs. Lion uncages me, I frequently forget it’s not there. I sit down to pee even though it isn’t necessary. I wonder if Mrs. Lion even notices the cage anymore. It’s always there. When it’s time for teasing or release, I obediently lie on my back and Mrs. Lion removes the cage. I then take off the base ring. When she wants me locked  up again, she hands me the base ring and I put it on immediately. The same is true for spanking. She comes over with the paddle and I obediently lie on my stomach. It’s all part of my life. Now the teasing and edging never gets routine for me. There are times that I think I am not that interested. Then Mrs. Lion plays with my penis and I get hard. She starts masturbating me. It feels to me that nothing much is happening, but after a while the intensity builds and before I notice I am bucking and ready to squirt. Then at the last possible second she stops stimulating me. You know the rest. So, no, any contact with her never, ever gets routine to me.

I think that these three questions would be among the first that anyone thinking of enforced chastity would ask. But no one does. I’m pretty sure that the reason they don’t get asked is that people new to enforced chastity are too excited by the inherent realization of a fantasy that it wouldn’t occur to them to consider these very obvious questions. The fantasies are just too hot. So, I asked them for you. Whether you are new to enforced chastity or have been locked up for years, I think it never hurts to answer these questions once in a while as part of a reality check. You know my answers. That’s why I’m not asking Mrs. Lion to unlock me (if I did, she wouldn’t anyway).

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Well, Lion figured out his birthday dinner. He moved things around in the freezer and when I saw what he’d done I told him he probably just ruined the surprise. He swore he hadn’t seen anything but then realized that what he thought was pork chops was really meat for osso buco. He insists it’s ok because now he’ll be dreaming of osso buco all week and how nice I am to make it for him. Ok. But he still doesn’t know the rest of the surprise and I want to keep it that way.

Yesterday we did some chores, ran the marathon at Costco, and came home to the marathon of putting food away. We vegetated for a while and went to see The Martian. Last time we went to the movies we got there very early and had to wait for the last showing to be out and then the theater had to be cleaned. This time we were trying to get there not quite as early. Since The Martian just opened the theater was already crowded. Lion is very particular about where he wants to sit. Halfway back, center of the row. I like the aisle. Actually, I like home, but in a theater I like the aisle. The only seats were on the end in the back row or most of the first two rows.

Lion asked if I wanted to get our money back or what I wanted to do. I told him it was his movie and he should decide. I thought that was fair enough. If it was a movie I cared about I would have found an acceptable seat and told him to sit. But it wasn’t my movie. He should decide how much he wanted to see it and if any of the available seats worked. We sat in the second row, which at first was jarring but once we got used to the screen being in our face it was actually better. Lion could read all the typing on the screen and little notes that were lying around. Aside from the fact that it was 3D it was a good movie.

Then we got home. We hadn’t played on Friday night because, after his orgasm on Thursday night, Lion wasn’t horny. Yesterday I just didn’t think about playing before the movie and I was tired afterwards. Lion then asked if I wanted dessert. They served our food late at the movie theater so I was still full. Well, now I had rebuffed him twice. He was humphy. Eventually I got the dessert he wanted. I feel bad when I disappoint him. And afterwards he asked if we could play tonight. Of course we can. I told him it was his idea to go to the movies and he said he didn’t think that cancelled any other activities for the night. The truth is, I wasn’t thinking about sex. I was thinking about going to the movies for the second weekend in a row; this time to see a movie I didn’t care about.

So, once again, what we have here is a failure to communicate. I promise to do better. He promises to do better. We just need to stop promising and do better already. I can’t keep disappointing him and he can’t keep getting hurt if I disappoint him. At some point today we will play. We have chores to do, but I don’t care how tired I am, we will play.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Femdom, Lion's Journal

Lately, I’ve read a lot about open relationships. You know, one or both people are able to take other lovers. In the case of enforced chastity and FLM, generally the dominant partner can have lovers, the submissive can’t. In BDSM, it’s common for bottoms who have an exclusive relationship with their top to be allowed to play (S/M scenes) with other tops so long as there is no sex for the bottom. Among the people I have known or read online, this one-sided open relationship seems to be the norm. For the record, I’m monogamous as is Mrs. Lion. When I was a 24/7 master, I would never let my slave play with others or service them sexually. I guess I’m just not that sexually secure.  I don’t think that is why. I believe that diluting intimacy, whether orgasmic or not, can add stress; at least for me. I was in a triad (two women and me) for over a  year, and even though that was not open, having two lovers was stress for each of us.

I know that there are people who thrive on open relationships. It’s certainly not wrong to have one. I just don’t want one. All this came to mind because for no particular reason I was thinking about cuckoldry. That’s when the partner who can have other lovers, makes the primary partner watch and sometimes do humiliating things in front of both of them. The reason that I’m bringing this practice up here is that like enforced chastity, it is almost always introduced by the submissive, male partner. I think it is a peculiarly male fantasy to be emasculated by having his partner accept the penis of another, superior male. In some respects it’s the ultimate humiliation. In every enforced chastity blog there is a multitude of cuckold fantasies. Is it a logical extension of enforced chastity? Perhaps. Enforced chastity turns the use of the male’s penis over to his keyholder. Every fantasy I have read treats this power exchange as humiliating in some respect. I admit that I do too. It turns me on to know that my lioness is the only one who can allow me to get hard or come.

A much more extreme surrender is to support her having intercourse with others but not with you. No, Mrs. Lion, I hate this idea and it would be a deal/marriage breaker for me. I have never had this fantasy myself. Part of the reason I haven’t is that I know I’m not very submissive at all. The lion in me will only give in so far before the claws and teeth come out. But I understand how others can get turned on by it. A caged male has two scenarios: the first and most common is collaborating with his keyholder to have sex with other males. The second, forced bisexuality is another common fantasy. It is the classic BDSM scenario where the caged male is topped and/or provides sexual services to another male without any reciprocation. Both can be intensely hot fantasies. The reality is much more complex. From what I’ve seen, it takes a lot of energy to balance things when another sexual partner is included in a relationship.

My escalation on enforced chastity is domestic discipline with FLM. I not only have no control over my sexual release, but I also get punished for disobedience. I am painfully spanked for breaking any rule or annoying Mrs. Lion. That has a big humiliation component along with the unpleasant pain of the spanking. Being the perverse big cat that I am, I want and need this. I feel loved when Mrs. Lion is strict with me. I can’t rationalize this part of me at all. It’s just how I am.

Yesterday, I was mentioned in the context of the “Blogger’s Recognition Award” in The Thrill of the Chaste blog. I appreciate the mention. The blog also published the “rules” of this award. It turns out it is a very positive chain letter. The idea is that if you are recognized by a blogger, you post about it and list five blogs you wish to honor. You can see where this goes. In a few generations, thousands of blogs are linked to one another. The reason I am breaking this chain is that we already recognize blogs we like to read. They are listed in the right column directly below Recent Posts. They are listed in the chronological order of the last post on their blogs; most recent first. I think it is very important to provide links front and center. Blogs are generally discovered as the result of a Google search (Google has over 95% of the searches that come here). About 55% of the people visiting every day get here from a search, 8% come from links from other websites including blogs, the rest are regular readers, hopefully like you.