July 2014 (Page 4)

(Friday, July 25 2014) Yesterday, Mrs. Lion wrote a very interesting post about feeling she is doing something “wrong” when she gives me an orgasm. She said that she feels she is letting me down by not making me wait longer. I never asked for longer wait times. I can say with total confidence I didn’t feel bad Wednesday night. I loved every bit of it.

It’s true that Mrs. Lion and I both wondered how to handle how long I must wait. If you’ve been reading along, you know we have been thinking about how to decide on my wait time. After thought and reading, it occurred to me that my wait time should be until I am super horny. Mrs. Lion independently came to this conclusion. If that wait is a week or a day is unimportant. The key is my need to orgasm.  There is no point locking me up if I get to orgasm each time I am horny. Similarly, there is no point to make me wait too long beyond urgently needing to come. When I hit the urgent, tree-humping level of horniness, it is absolutely clear to me that I am not in control of my sexual release. Isn’t this the point of being locked up? So, if Mrs. Lion decides to get me off when she judges I have reached that point, she has made me wait long enough. If she chooses to make me wait longer, that is her choice. It isn’t required.

What about making me orgasm before I get to that point? Is that “wrong”? I don’t think it is. She is in control and as she has said, it is up to her when I orgasm whether I want to or not. I can’t argue with that. She worried in her post that if she gets me off too soon she isn’t doing what I want. Well, isn’t that the point? It isn’t about what I want. She worries she is letting me down on my expectations for being locked up. She isn’t. She really gets it.

Another very interesting point she made is about “happy endings,” orgasms after sexually arousing play. There is no question that I love an orgasm after spanking or anal play. Earlier this week, Mrs. Lion had a butt plug in me for a couple of hours while I was locked it. She removed it without any sexual release for me. It was a bit disappointing, but I couldn’t claim it was unfair or wrong. It is a change for us, but I think it is a good one. The anal play turned up the volume on my need for sex. It was an effective tease. So, as far as I’m concerned I don’t have to get a happy ending every time we play. I’d love one but I recognize that it isn’t possible now that I am caged.

It seems to me that Mrs. Lion and I have to continue discussing and learning. In a way, the fact that we love each other so much can get in the way. For example, I want Mrs. Lion to have as much sexual fun as I do. But she has explained that she currently doesn’t want that much sex. I have to accept that and feel good that I am doing what she wants. Similarly, I think she needs to understand that I want her to control when or if I can orgasm and not worry about my expectations. It’s fair for her to wonder if I am disappointed she doesn’t make me wait longer. I’m not. I’m grateful when I finally get to come. I’m not concerned with how long others wait. This is a game that is between the two of us. We share with you, our reader, but Mrs. Lion and I live it. It’s natural to compare our experiences with others, but because we wait less or more than some is no indication of how we are doing. If we are happy, then we are successful.

(Wednesday, July 23, 2014) Since I haven’t been writing down orgasm dates, by my rough calculation I think this is my sixth day without coming. Last night, Mrs. Lion inserted the large (not super large) Njoy butt plug and left it in a couple of hours. I was locked up the entire time. Afterward, I asked if Mrs. Lion was going to unlock me. She said, “No.” I told her that I was finally horny. She took note of my sexual weather report, but I remained caged. So here  I am at around a week feeling grumbly. I’m also really tired. I haven’t been sleeping well. Grumpy and tired aren’t a good combination.

I’m also happy that Mrs. Lion is in control. I asked for an orgasm and was refused. I didn’t even growl. At this point in our chastity life, a growl is likely to further delay release. I’m surprised at how predictable I’ve become. There was one change this time. Usually by day 5 I am tree-humping horny. This time I wasn’t. In fact, even though I feel grumpy, I am not crazy to come. I know that with very little effort Mrs. Lion can make me tree-humping crazy to come, but it isn’t spontaneous now. I don’t think this is a major change, probably just due to life pressures and being tired. Does it mean I can wait more? Probably. But then, I can always wait more. I know I don’t control that.

It’s pretty easy to limit my feelings to sex. It seems to be the prevailing topic when caged males write. But at least for me, more is going on. I’ve been wondering about whether I am, in fact, still in control. After last night, I am finally learning that I’m not. I had thought about how discovering that I really lost control will feel. Professionally and personally I am a control freak. By that I don’t mean dictator, just that something in me wants to know exactly where things stand at any given moment. This need was behind my request to know how long my wait will be between orgasms.

Most surprising to me, I am not really concerned that I don’t know when Mrs. Lion will let me orgasm. It’s true that I can’t count the days like a kid waiting for Christmas, but I am not upset by this. To me this is a very good sign. It is one indicator that I have surrendered control to Mrs. Lion and I am content (in my grumbly way) to wait for her to decide to give me release. After all, this is exactly what I hoped would happen. I am particularly impressed with the firm-but-friendly way she wields her power. “Not tonight, dear,” is an iron fist in a velvet glove.

This afternoon, Wednesday, her post mentioned that she wanted to wait until I was really horny before considering giving me an orgasm. That got me thinking. We have both struggled with how to decide the time between my orgasms. One precondition to even considering giving me one is that I am sufficiently desperate. After all, chastity is no challenge if the caged male gets off pretty much every time he is horny. Isn’t part of the game forcing the male to wait until he thinks he will explode? Well maybe not that long. But now that I am seven days chaste, I really want to come. This is probably a sweet spot for Mrs. Lion. Actually, last night was the start of that sweet spot.

Now I’m not saying she should always have me humping trees, but it does make sense that one variable is my level of desperation. That might be the threshold. How long past that she makes me wait can depend on any number of things she wants to consider. For one thing, if I really, really want to come, isn’t she at her most powerful if she makes me wait a bit more? I am not trying to dig my own grave here. I just realized that there can be objective reasons to extend my wait.

I also like the way she approached plugging me last night. She just got the lube and plug and asked me to roll over; no discussion, just, “Roll over, Lion.” Quiet assertiveness. I am impressed! I know that Mrs. Lion doesn’t like being a manager, but the truth is that she is great at it. Most importantly, I can stamp my paw all I want and grumble but I am sure it will not convince Mrs. Lion to give me what I want. She is exercising control. Hooray Mrs. Lion!