Wednesday night I got a bonus orgasm. It was very welcome. I have not had the most comfortable week. Mrs. Lion knows how to rub me the right way. But my back still hurts. Apparently it’s sciatica. Bummer. I’m very grateful that my Jail Bird is so comfortable. It doesn’t make a difficult situation worse.
I’ve been reading some extraordinarily idiotic forum posts lately. One posited that people only engage in BDSM because they are depressed. Once the depression lifts, the desire for power exchange disappears. That same genius stated categorically that welbutrin (an old antidepressant) is a strong aphrodisiac that gave both him and his wife amazing orgasms. It has to be true! It was on the Internet, wasn’t it? You can read this missive here. I don’t usually discuss the comments found on these boards. It’s just this particular one illustrates exactly why I started this blog: to provide reliable information and the ongoing saga of our enforced chastity.
One topic seems to appear regularly around the Net: the unbalanced libidos in relationships. Mrs. Lion and I are poster children for this issue. For the last bunch of years Mrs. Lion’s libido has been very low. Mine, on the other hand, remains very active. One reason I introduced enforced chastity was to see if it wouldn’t provide a launching pad for new sexual interest in our relationship.
It didn’t work out the way I had imagined. My fantasy was that Mrs. Lion would lock me up and then have me provide her with lots of orgasms. Naive lion. The actual result is very different and a lot better than my fantasy. Out of love for me, Mrs. Lion agreed to lock me up. In the beginning she imagined this would be a low energy way to make me happy. You know, lock up the lion’s cock and things take care of themselves. Thankfully, it didn’t take Mrs. Lion long to realize that enforced chastity is much more than taking my penis out of use.
Over the succeeding months, Mrs. Lion reinterpreted my interest in sex and enforced chastity. Prior to my lockup, sex or lack of it was a source of tension for both of us. I avoided it and Mrs. Lion didn’t want it. The effect of this was a gradual reduction of any kind of intimacy. We held hands but not much more. This state of affairs made me sad. I missed the fun we had early in our relationship. Mrs. Lion (as she wrote here) resented my lack of initiative and attributed her lack of interest in sex to my inability to initiate. I knew she felt this way and deeply regretted my inability to do what she wanted.
Sounds like a good time to see a counselor. I had considered it. But inaction breeds more inaction and things didn’t change. I don’t want to repeat the entire story of how I came to introduce enforced chastity. It’s here in the blog. But I introduced it out of the selfish desire to improve my sex life. I am, after all, inclined to enjoy a certain amount of submission. Enforced chastity is, if nothing else, a prolonged form of bondage. Cool! I love being tied up.
What happened next is covered in detail here in our posts. The result is nothing short of amazing. No, Mrs. Lion didn’t suddenly turn into an insatiable sex fiend. I didn’t turn into a sexual initiator. But we both began to understand how to adapt to our differences. That’s the point I am trying to make. Enforced chastity gave us a tool that lets us both live happily even though our interest in sex is vastly different. Mrs. Lion expressed her feelings best, I think, in this post. I’m not suggesting that sexual differences are cured with chastity devices. I think that finding a tool, whether power exchange, games, or enforced chastity, is the key to bridging these giant sexual gaps.
I have learned that none of this is instant or easy. We’ve been at this (enforced chastity) for almost a year and only now are we beginning to truly understand what enforced chastity can be for us. It’s worth all the time and work and frustration. I am very happy we have been doing this.
I actually take buproprion (wellbutrin) for major depression. While it doesn’t necessarily increase my libido, it greatly increases the pleasure I get from sex/masturbation. While I agree with you about the poster’s comments – most were unusual, if not outright incorrect – they were right about the effect of buproprion. It increases pleasure because it increases available dopamine and epinephrine.
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