Trying to Drive Lion Crazy
I have a confession to make. I am a cock tease. In a long ago post I said when I was younger being a cock tease was a bad thing. Now I see it as a good thing. At least as far as male chastity is concerned.
Last night was a Lion tease night. I released him from his cage and proceeded to give him a hand job. To a point. I alternated between slow strokes and very fast strokes. I varied how many slow strokes he got. I didn’t count the fast strokes. I just went until I saw he was getting close but not too close. I don’t know how many repetitions I did but it was driving Lion crazy. I edged him three times. I’m sure it was just a blur for him and he couldn’t tell you how many times I edged him. For a few minutes he might not have been able to tell you what planet he was on.
When I asked him if he liked the slow then fast alternating he said he would have preferred the fast be not so fast. Duly noted, my pet. I will slow that part down a bit.
As we were saying good night, Lion told me I got him very horny and he really wanted to come. Six more days, my love. You can make it.
This morning I also finished the Lion O calendar entries through the end of the year. I now know how many times Lion will orgasm in, say, August. I’m not telling till we get there, but I know. Again, I’ve varied the length of time between them. I think there is one 20-ish day wait. I’ll let the cat out of the bag for two of the dates. Or four if you want to look at it that way. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and then New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. Something to look forward to at the end of the year. At this point, the only other date he knows is February 14.
Valentine’s Day. Six more days.
Trying Not To Drive Mrs. Lion Crazy
One of the side effects of being caged full time, at least for me, is my tendency to obsess a bit about my lockup. It’s perfectly normal for a guy just getting into this to drive his new keyholder nuts in his attempt to make his chastity fantasy come to life. This has one of two possible outcomes: she will decide enforced chastity is too much trouble and quit, or she will try to work something out that she can handle.
I think we are fairly typical of the second group. Mrs. Lion has long known of my kinky side and has accepted that I have these inscrutable desires that do nothing for her. Fortunately, she also loves me a lot. So, a year ago when I asked her to lock me up she agreed. What followed was a negotiation that is still underway. It’s documented in this blog. If it wasn’t for Mrs. Lion’s good will and patience, this would have ended by now. But why haven’t we gotten things all settled?
That is a good question. There’s another too: If we haven’t worked it all out, isn’t it too much trouble to continue? My answer to both questions is that we are getting benefits from my chastity and the process of adapting. Mrs. Lion has been very gracious about indulging my kinks. The thing is that kinks, mine in particular, are rarely simple. Some, in fact, won’t work if I provide too much input. For example, I love to feel Mrs. Lion’s control. But feeling controlled requires Mrs. Lion to independently decide what happens to me.
This has been our major sticking point. The reason Mrs. Lion keeps me locked up is because she knows this is something I want. She wants to make me happy. That’s great. Our love for each other is amazing. But for me to feel control, I have to be made to do things I may not want to do. I need to be disciplined. Both of these kinks are driving poor Mrs. Lion crazy.
Let’s look at these one at a time. First, the toughest, discipline. This creates a big problem for two reasons: The first is that if discipline is to be part of our lives, Mrs. Lion needs reasons to discipline me. Second, once she has reasons, she has to watch out for transgressions and then remember to administer the appropriate punishments. I don’t have to do anything except accept Mrs. Lion’s discipline and obey or disobey my rules. It’s easy for me and tough for her. For the sake of this discussion, let’s assume she wants to train me to be pleasant and not lapse into being a snarky, grumpy lion. Good rule, right? It will make me an easier lion to be around. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion would notice when my attitude needs adjustment. That part is easy. But tracking and responding is considerable work.
Maybe she could have a system; notes in her iPhone or make me remember my infractions and recite them at discipline time. Both require effort on her part. At least making me remember them takes some burden off her; or does it? Won’t she need to remember too so she will know if I skip something? See? Not a bit easy. Assuming we get past that, she needs the time and energy to administer punishment. She also has to decide the appropriate penalty and administer the punishment. This could really drive her nuts. Worse, while she knows at one level that I really want this, it has to hurt to see me suffer even if I want it. So far, she has managed to extend my wait only once and then for a day. It’s not easy being my lioness!
The second part of this is the control itself. Mrs. Lion has gotten very good about making me wait. She independently decides on my wait times and, for the most part, resists giving me bonus orgasms when I am clearly very horny. I feel that as control. Score a big point for Mrs. Lion. So, what’s my problem? She is certainly controlling me sexually. I think it is great. Maybe I am just greedy. That’s a very bad trait for a bottom.
This neediness is a common disease among bottoms. I know it and I still do it. She should be saying, “I can’t ever make you happy!” But she doesn’t. She keeps trying. I feel like an ungrateful lout. The simple truth is that if she never does anything new, I am very very lucky. Instead, I keep talking about other things that might work for me. Every time I do, she feels that she isn’t doing a good job. She is doing a great job!
Thank you, my sweet lioness.
[ Mrs. Lion – Actually I do yell, “I can’t ever make you happy!” sometimes. Very loudly — in my head.]
Orgasm Calendars
I spent a few minutes this morning reviewing Lion’s orgasm schedule. I must have miscalculated. I don’t think he ever had a 25 day wait on the books. I think the longest I’ve given him now is 18 days. I just heard him gasp as he reads this. Poor boy.
I’ve tried to vary the length of time between orgasms. I don’t always want to make him wait nine days, for example. On the other hand, I don’t want a lot of long waits. I think the shortest is five days and then there’s the 18 day wait mixed in there. I made it all the way into May and the only reason I stopped was because Lion had breakfast ready. He’s such a good boy. And he took care of the dishes because I had to get to a business meeting. He may even get a reward for that.
When I told Lion what I’d been up to he liked the idea of my working on the dates but hated the idea of having to wait. It’s his conundrum. He wants to wait but he doesn’t want to wait. Just like spanking. I sort of like the dates. I mean I like having them all thought out ahead of time. Then all I have to do is consult my calendar and there they are. Easier to change the orgasm calendar.
As for my own dates, I am less enthusiastic. I had the first few about a week apart. Lion didn’t like it that long. Then I did three or four days between them. Lion liked that. It felt like pressure to me. I’ve got to find some sort of balance. I need to get my mind involved somehow. Obviously my body is willing. I wonder if I can be hypnotized into wanting more sex and less food. I’ll have to look into that.
The Movie In My Head
I seem to get it wrong very often. When Mrs. Lion does something that hits a hot button, I tend to believe that she has somehow changed, turned over a new leaf. This happened the other night when she used the Njoy butt plug on me. She inserted it in a direct, rather impersonal way — lube it, lube me a bit, firmly insert it with no pause. Her usual pattern is to be much gentler, stopping frequently to let me adjust to the intruding device. She wasn’t rough about it. It hurt, but that lasted only a couple of minutes after it was nestled inside me.
I liked what she did. I didn’t care too much for the pain, but I liked feeling that authority. The problem is that she didn’t see it that way. She said that my position was a bit awkward and she inserted it the best she could. I guess you could say this is classic lion; I read far too much into small things.
The reason for this is that the movie playing in my head casts Mrs. Lion as a loving, but firm keyholder who efficiently exer cises her power over me. I don’t see her as an impersonal department of motor vehicles clerk dispensing punishments and pleasure as part of her job. But I do see her as my loving lioness who sets her mind to do something to/with me and then just proceeds without being overly concerned about my acceptance or reaction. Spankings, anal insertions, even teasing is performed in a loving and efficient way without my feedback being considered.
That’s my movie. I’m not a cruelly treated prisoner who suffers at every turn. Nor am I a naughty boy who needs mommy to keep him on the straight and narrow. I’m much less role play centric. In my movie Mrs. Lion is my loving partner who, for unknown reasons — psst: we know it is cause I asked her, but don’t tell, that’s not in the script — has sexual and behavioral control of me and exercises that control to “train” me. Again, my script is silent as to why in world she would want to do this, or what I do that needs correction. Clearly my screenplay needs a lot of work.
The plot does contain lots of toys that range from butt plugs to devices to give my genitals a shock when I do something wrong — again the script is silent on exactly what I am doing wrong. Similarly I get spanked, get my wait extended, or some other horrific-but-sexy punishments are meted out as needed.
That’s the basic movie. It’s very hot to me when it runs in my head. When Mrs. Lion actually does some of those things, I genuinely dislike them at the time, but they are deeply satisfying later. So, when Mrs. Lion does something as small as slightly changing how she plugs my butt, I react by believing she has taken her role to heart. It isn’t realistic of me to make that assumption, but wow, she just acted a scene in my movie. Has she decided to take the part?
It really doesn’t matter if she follows my script at all. She is already giving me exactly what I want: she keeps my penis locked up, she makes me wait no matter how horny I get, and she spanks me now and then. That’s a lot. It’s more than I have any right to expect. I’m not an ungrateful lion. I just want to explain why I can blow a small change up into a lioness transformation. Mea culpa.
