Visitors
Today I’m a little excited. My ex and my daughter are heading cross-country and I’ll get to see them. Well, her, I don’t care about him. It’s been a few years since we’ve seen each other. Airfare being high, school and work schedules, our camping trips, all managed to keep me on the west coast and them on the east coast. They’ve decided to get in their RV and head out. I have few details about when they’ll get here or where they’ll be exactly. Last time they headed this way I drove seven hours each way to be able to see them (my younger son was along for that trip). While I’m not looking forward to another trip like that, I would do it in a heartbeat if a seven hour drive was all that kept me from seeing her again.
Lion is used to being the only “child” in the house. In the past, he’s acted a bit like a toddler when my kids came to visit. I didn’t pay enough attention to him and he got grumpy. Fair warning, my pet, I will not tolerate grumpiness, especially when she’s only going to be in the area for a short time. Of course she will get my full attention. He gets my attention all the time. I think he’ll manage for a few days.
Yesterday I realized that our spare bedroom is a disaster. Well, it didn’t just happen yesterday, of course. It’s sort of our junk room and catchall. Whatever we don’t know what to do with winds up in there. Needless to say, the bed is under a pile of crap. I started to clean it last night. There are toys everywhere. They’ll need to be squirreled away. Lion offered to help today, but I told him between tonight and tomorrow I’ll have it done. As I said, I’m not even sure she’s staying with us. I may need to go to her. This morning I think Lion has started cleaning. He admits he’s not very good at finding places for things that don’t have homes. That extra comforter, the extra towels for the camper, pillows, etc. I’m not really even sure what all is in the pile. It’s sort of a treasure hunt.
Lion will definitely get a reward for tackling the room. I’m not sure how much he’ll get done, but any help is appreciated and I know how difficult it is for him to do. When we moved he told me he was horrible at packing an unpacking. Holy cow! He wasn’t kidding! He had trouble putting things away in his own home office. I figured he should at least be able to put pens and pencils away. Nope. So I definitely know how difficult this is for him. Since he hasn’t been super horny lately, and I gave him a ruined orgasm by accident last night, I don’t know what the reward will be but I’ll come up with something special for him.
He also changed the beds in the house and camper yesterday, and washed all the sheets and towels. He was a busy boy. He needs a few rewards. Maybe some time in the sling. When he made the bed in the camper he installed his restraints. I think he needs some time in those restraints. I can do that whether he’s horny or not. That will give him something to look forward to for the next trip.
Tonight is punishment night and he’s gone a few times without any punishments. I thought I had him the other night for forgetting to remind me of maintenance spanking night, but it was me who forgot. He’d told me in his first email to me that morning. Silly Mrs. Lion. Of course, then I forgot to give him the maintenance swats for the second time in a row. Maybe I should get some sort of punishment for being forgetful.
A Little Different
Blogs are funny things. Some, like ours, are dedicated to a specific set of topics; in our case it’s enforced male chastity and female led marriage. We have a bunch of information pages. If you haven’t visited them, click some of the links on the top of this page. This section of our site, the blog, is our personal story. While we try to restrict our posts to the site’s topic, bits and pieces of our lives leak in. Comments over time suggest that you like getting to know us outside of our sexual adventures. I’m glad. I, for one, want to be more than a guy wearing a chastity device to you. Our relationship is far more complex than exercises in power exchange and sexual hardware. Of course you know that. But do you want to bother with it?
Our adventure in enforced chastity and FLM are based on my desire to experience this power exchange. That’s not unusual. In fact, it’s normal. Very few women set out to find a submissive man and then lock up his cock and make him her sexual slave. There’s a ton of femdom fiction, including a very large percentage of femdom blogs, that try to paint a realistic picture of this scenario. The truth is that lifestyle domination is a hell of a lot of work. The top (dominant) turns into a sadistic social director. She has to continually think of ways to keep her submissive man interested. Why does she do this? Because she loves him and knows that this will make him happy.
One sure sign of femdom fiction is when the “domme” writes that she loves all the service she gets. “She” depicts her life as massages and bon bons while her poor subby male toils to amuse her. She finds endless amusement causing him pain and frustration. One blog that I won’t mention by name has expanded that scenario to include a “maid” hired to make the scenario more elaborate. I’m not saying that all female tops are just working with no fun for them. That’s not true. Many, if not most, enjoy the frustration that their partner’s cause themselves by wanting to play this way. That’s one of the true pleasures of topping; watching your bottom awaken to his predicament and fighting through for that elusive orgasm.
The thing about doing this all the time is that real life can get in the way. Mrs. Lion and I are doing our best to keep up our enforced chastity and FLM. But for me it isn’t too much fun right now. I’m worried about survival issues and sex is most definitely on the back burner for me. We’ve wrestled with what to do. The obvious option is to suspend FLM and enforced chastity until we can see the end of the tunnel. But that’s a terrible idea. For us, FLM and enforced chastity are part of a language we share. They provide a very good physical context for us. If we stopped, even for a short time, what would replace it?
The answer is apathy. If we stop, I will withdraw and live in the dark cave of my anxiety and fear for our future. We’ll hold hands and hug too. But the much more complete sexual language we now speak will wither. I think of it as a life preserver. It’s a form of pleasure we can hold on to and use to keep us from sinking into depression. It’s a way to escape without leaving.
This is very odd. What started as a way to bring my sexual dreams into reality has become an essential part of our relationship. The necessary formality of enforced chastity and my total sexual dependence force us to relate sexually even if I don’t really want an orgasm. Scheduled spankings and the rules that provoke them give us a structure that prevents us from withdrawing from one another. I never considered this possibility when we started all this.
Games
I like to play games. Mostly on the computer or my iPad. I like to solve puzzles. I am who the video game was invented for. I just know I can do better the next time. Put another quarter in and give it a try. Many dollars later I was still sure I could do better if I tried just one more time. When I play Scrabble I try to remember obscure words and words that other people have played against me. Sometimes people tell me I’m cheating because I can’t give them a definition of a word I’ve played. So? It’s legal. Does it really matter what it means? In addition to trying to beat my opponent, I also try to beat my previous scores. I know there’s a way to get all three stars playing Angry Birds. Why can’t I even get one star? What’s the catch? What’s the angle? If I just hit that one piece of the wall, maybe then the whole thing will fall down.
My point is, I like to figure games out. Lion gets frustrated with things like that. I know he can figure it out. If I did it then he can too. But he’s perfectly happy with putting the game down or trying something else. I beat him at Scrabble more often than not. Why wouldn’t I? I have a lot more practice. I’m three cities ahead of him in Gummy Drop. He asks me how to get past a certain level and I find myself saying, “All you have to do is…” Truth be told it may have taken me twenty tries to get past that stupid level. I just keep banging away until I get it.
So it occurred to me this morning that games may not be our best bet. Maybe our version of chastity and FLM does not work with points and challenges. I’m not ruling it out. I’m just wondering if we are considering it solely because it works for someone else. We have Good Lion coupons and Naughty Lion coupons. Are they any less valid because I’ve decided to hand them out in what Lion may perceive as a random fashion? What if I’ve thought about all the times he’s done X and decided that he deserves a reward of Y for it? Is that any different from adding up points for all the times he’s done X and deciding when to administer Y? I admit the latter seems more of a concrete arrangement. He can see how many points he’s earned. He knows how many he needs to earn. He can put it on his spreadsheet to keep track of it.
Lion’s post this morning also touches a nerve in the whole points for activities game. He says as soon as my libido is back he’s going to jump on me. No pressure there! Prepare to roll your eyes, because I really think my orgasms should be the result of making love and not based on the points they earn. Yes, I know. It’s all very vanilla of me. Sorry. Not that it matters anyway because I just don’t care if I get orgasms in any capacity. But orgasms for points seems like more pressure on me to have them. In the game we’re trying to develop I put a high value on them because I knew they’d be rare. In hindsight that seems like a mistake. Why wouldn’t Lion want to go after the highest points to get to his goal faster?
On a lighter note, on our way home from our trip I put Lion’s NJoy butt plug in my purse so it would make it into the house rather than lounging in the camper. Yesterday when I got to work I noticed my bag was heavier than normal. Ah. The butt plug was still in there. As I was getting ready to leave work I put my bag on the counter and it made a fairly big thud. One of my coworkers asked, “What do you have in there? A brick?” I smiled and said it sure sounded like it. Good thing for Lion it isn’t brick shaped. That could definitely hurt.
Past The Point Of No Return
I’m back in my cage after a long weekend in the wild. A year ago I would have missed my nice, comfy cage. Now I enjoy the freedom to pee standing up without the imminent risk of spraying the neighborhood. Sexually, it was no different than being locked up. It shouldn’t be. Of course Mrs. Lion was always present to provide supervision. One can’t be too careful. I’m nothing if not comfortable with my captivity.
I’m much more than comfortable with the attention I am getting. Mrs. Lion makes a point of providing some sexual activity almost every night. This is a vast change from my pre-cage days. I wish I could reciprocate. I love giving Mrs. Lion orgasms at least as much as she likes giving me orgasms. I have hope that her libido will return. When it does, I will pounce on it immediately. She deserves a lot of credit for her consistent teasing and attention to my enforced chastity. It worries me that she doesn’t get any direct benefit from my chastity. For a while I worried that she would taper off and stop. I underestimated my lioness. When she puts her mind to something she follows through.
It’s clear to me that her decision is to continue with our enforced chastity and FLM. I still have a vote next March, but I wonder if that choice hasn’t evaporated already. We don’t want to return to our pre-chastity state and I wonder if we could invent something that would replace all this if we decided to stop. I, for one, have stopped thinking about life without captivity. What we have now isn’t perfect, but it’s very good and makes us both happy, albeit in very different ways. I guess I have to try to accept that even though in my mind what we have is very one-sided, apparently Mrs. Lion doesn’t see it as gross selfishness on my part. It feels that way to me.
