Blogs are funny things. Some, like ours, are dedicated to a specific set of topics; in our case it’s enforced male chastity and female led marriage. We have a bunch of information pages. If you haven’t visited them, click some of the links on the top of this page. This section of our site, the blog, is our personal story. While we try to restrict our posts to the site’s topic, bits and pieces of our lives leak in. Comments over time suggest that you like getting to know us outside of our sexual adventures. I’m glad. I, for one, want to be more than a guy wearing a chastity device to you. Our relationship is far more complex than exercises in power exchange and sexual hardware. Of course you know that. But do you want to bother with it?

Our adventure in enforced chastity and FLM are based on my desire to experience this power exchange. That’s not unusual. In fact, it’s normal. Very few women set out to find a submissive man and then lock up his cock and make him her sexual slave. There’s a ton of femdom fiction, including a very large percentage of femdom blogs, that try to paint a realistic picture of this scenario. The truth is that lifestyle domination is a hell of a lot of work. The top (dominant) turns into a sadistic social director. She has to continually think of ways to keep her submissive man interested. Why does she do this? Because she loves him and knows that this will make him happy.

One sure sign of femdom fiction is when the “domme” writes that she loves all the service she gets. “She” depicts her life as massages and bon bons while her poor subby male toils to amuse her. She finds endless amusement causing him pain and frustration. One blog that I won’t mention by name has expanded that scenario to include a “maid” hired to make the scenario more elaborate.  I’m not saying that all female tops are just working with no fun for them. That’s  not true. Many, if not most, enjoy the frustration that their partner’s cause themselves by wanting to play this way. That’s one of the true pleasures of topping; watching your bottom awaken to his predicament and fighting through for that elusive orgasm.

The thing about doing this all the time is that real life can get in the way. Mrs. Lion and I are doing our best to keep up our enforced chastity and FLM. But for me it isn’t too much fun right now. I’m worried about survival issues and sex is most definitely on the back burner for me. We’ve wrestled with what to do. The obvious option is to suspend FLM and enforced chastity until we can see the end of the tunnel. But that’s a terrible idea. For us, FLM and enforced chastity are part of a language we share. They provide a very good physical context for us. If we stopped, even for a short time, what would replace it?

The answer is apathy. If we stop, I will withdraw and live in the dark cave of my anxiety and fear for our future. We’ll hold hands and hug too. But the much more complete sexual language we now speak will wither. I think of it as a life preserver. It’s a form of pleasure we can hold on to and use to keep us from sinking into depression. It’s a way to escape without leaving.

This is very odd. What started as a way to bring my sexual dreams into reality has become an essential part of our relationship. The necessary formality of enforced chastity and my total sexual dependence force us to relate sexually even if I don’t really want an orgasm. Scheduled spankings and the rules that provoke them give us a structure that prevents us from withdrawing from one another. I never considered this possibility when we started all this.