It’s Supposed to Hurt
I brought out the tawse again last night. I spoke about needing to practice and Lion didn’t seem at all interested; but he doesn’t have to be interested. I need to improve my technique and his butt is the target. So I whacked him a few times and he asked if I knew where I was hitting. Yup. (It was the same spot twice in a row.) I aimed for another spot. He gave me a “that hurts” kind of look. Well, duh. And I hit a few more times before he begged for it to be over. I wasn’t punishing him so there was no reason to do any more. Maybe I will practice on a pillow before I take another crack at him.
This morning he said I should hit him with the tawse again. I need practice hitting and he needs practice taking it. That is true, but perhaps he doesn’t really need practice taking the tawse. It is extremely painful and we are just starting punishment again. Maybe I should practice with the tawse on a pillow and practice with other implements on his butt. I could still use a floppy implement to get practice with those. Just not a tawse. We have other straps and floggers.
For the first time since his surgery, I edged Lion and did not give him an orgasm. He was very hard and wanted to come badly, but I left him hanging. He’s had a lot of orgasms in the past few weeks and I just decided maybe it’s time to make him wait for a bit. I don’t have a specific length of time in mind. You know me, I might give in tonight. I didn’t put the cage on because I forgot. When he reminded me it seemed silly to put it on because he reminded me. That might make it seem like he’s calling the shots. He’s not.
And now I’m wondering if it will be more difficult for him to wait for an orgasm when my weenie is right there in the open and just begging for relief. He can get hard. He’s not supposed to touch and he’s fairly good at not touching, but he has his moments. When I catch him he says he was just rearranging things. Uh huh. Right. How much rearranging does one need? Once an hour? Once every half hour? Every ten minutes or so? Pick a number. We’ll go with that and see if it holds up. I’ll be watching.
At some point I need to do some manscaping this weekend. Lion’s nether regions are starting to look like the one part of the lawn I haven’t mowed yet. All scruffy and overgrown. He’s been shaving his chest now too. I still haven’t decided if I like that or not. Unshaved, it tickles my nose when we snuggle. Shaved, there’s stubble. I’m not sure which is worse. I don’t like overly hairy men. Lion has never been overly hairy. I’ll have to let him know what I decide.
Just A Middle Class Couple
As promised, I tried the Tena male incontinence guards (order the 20 pack. The 48 pack is for thicker pads). They fit nicely into my Obviously pouched underpants. I got them because, when caged, drips are inevitable most of the time. The pads are insurance. I tried them without the cage and I can’t tell I have a pad on. It turned out to be useful. Sometimes I drip even when wild. I apply the pad about 2 inches below the bottom of the waistband. Once on, I adjust the underpants to fully cover the pad.
It occurs to me that I’m sharing incredibly intimate details of my life on this blog. Every single orgasm, tease, spanking, and other sexual activity I’ve had is publicly available on this blog. I’m not sure this was my plan when I started in 2014. Then, I wanted to record my experiences as a caged male. I wanted to share what I learned as well as my past experience with power exchanges. I don’t recall planning to share everything.
In the beginning I hoped that Mrs. Lion would both provide a keyholder’s view of our power exchange and keep me honest. She’s certainly done both! She’s also filled in any details I failed to mention about both my sex life and how she feels about our activities. There are over 2,000 posts and over 30 pages that chronicle things most would never, ever share.
This all came up when I started writing about the male incontinence pads I now wear. This isn’t sexy BDSM or chastity fun. It’s a very private activity. I don’t want the public to see my cage through my pants or in the public bathroom. Seeing liners in my underpants is an even more embarrassing prospect. Telling you is embarrassing to me. Yet, I do anyway. Am I an exhibitionist who gets aroused by revealing the most intimate details of my life? It’s a reasonable explanation. I don’t think that’s whats happening.
I think that once I started writing and you started commenting, I wanted to share more and more. I don’t write to turn you on. If you get aroused, that’s fine. I like it. But my purpose is to share our lives and how we incorporate enforced chastity and domestic discipline in our otherwise-middle-class lives.
Bad Habit
I get a sneak preview of Lion’s posts before they’re published. He usually has a chance to look at mine too. We give each other feedback and attempt to make sure there are no typos. Since we sometimes feel more comfortable broaching a subject in a post than face to face, these previews are often the first time we see a problem. I won’t say that’s how I found out about Lion’s issue of my being on my iPad so much, but it is how I realized it was such a problem.
A few days ago I said I needed to get off my iPad and pay more attention to Lion. I said it was a bad habit I picked back up while he was recovering. While he was snoozing, watching TV, or just not interested in sex or much of anything, it was easy for me to lose myself in my games. I got very interested in some games I haven’t played in a while. I just know I can beat that damn level so I try it again and again, and again. And again! It’s easy to lose track of time. I’ve also been doing some shopping. Last night, after reading his post on my iPad (ironically), I set it aside to snuggle and otherwise spend time with Lion. Yesterday I said I was going to have to practice more with the tawse and floppier whomping implements. I brought out the tawse and Lion was less than enthused with the idea. When we snuggled, he was very itchy and not able to have me very close. Usually I’m the one who needs to move because I get too hot or achy. We did keep holding hands until he fell asleep.
I figured it was a little nap so I waited. After ten minutes or so, I figured I would be forgiven for going on the iPad as long as I stopped when he woke up. I’m not ignoring him if he’s sleeping. He apologized when he woke up. There’s no need to apologize. He needed sleep. I don’t think he was ignoring me while he was sleeping.
I don’t think Lion is wrong for asking me to put down the iPad. I don’t think he’s wrong for sleeping. I think he’s wrong to be worried that I’m bored with him. I’m not planning on leaving him. I am trying to get back in the swing of things in terms of chastity and domestic discipline. We’ll work this all out. It just takes a little time.
I Tend To Think The Worst
Mrs. Lion has been writing about her efforts to rebalance our power exchange. She’s decided that maintenance spanking is a tool to get us back in the groove. We’ve been doing this nearly every night. I know that I’ve been more aware of my rules. So, that’s evidence that, at least for me, her efforts are being rewarded.
I don’t think I’m the issue, at least right now. I think Mrs. Lion is trying to get her disciplinary mojo back. I admire her focus. I think she is looking for 2.0. This may be a good time for the search. We’re secure, I’m recovering nicely from my surgery, and stress is at a pleasant low level at home. If you’ve been reading our blog for a while, you know that this is an ongoing effort.
It’s not that she isn’t trying. I know she is. Being stricter and more observant is less about worrying that she is too cruel, than it is about shifting her focus. Mrs. Lion still withdraws into her iPad from the moment she gets home until she goes to sleep. I’m starting to think that she is avoiding me, not our power exchange. I don’t know what’s changed, but something has.
I don’t think she is angry. I’m starting to suspect that the pressure of becoming 2.0 may be causing her to withdraw. Even if that isn’t the case, there must be something and she isn’t sharing it with me. Of course, that’s her right, but it is making me feel insecure. That insecurity isn’t about domestic discipline as much as it is about our relationship.
When I don’t have all the information, I tend to think the worst. When I ask if anything is wrong, Mrs. Lion always tells me there isn’t. Then, she goes back to her iPad. She always takes time to play or snuggle at some point. I feel I am the intermission entertainment. Now that I’ve said that much, I don’t want to suggest that she should spend the entire evening torturing me. I just think that one consequence of my surgery and subsequent recovery is that I was unable to communicate. I slept and spent almost all the rest of the time in a drugged haze. Who could blame her for playing games on her iPad? I was no use.
I think we have to make the same kind of effort to restore our communication that we are making for our power exchange. Maybe we can do both at the same time. I need to work as hard or harder as Mrs. Lion to get us back on track. I withdraw into the TV at the same time she is playing on her iPad.
We will do what we always do when there is a problem. We will discuss it and try solutions until we find one that works. Maybe it’s more maintenance spankings. Oh well.
