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In: Domestic discipline, Male Chastity, Spanking

The news this morning reported that the divorce rate in the US is at a 30-year low. The average marriage lasts almost 20 years. That’s very good news. Mrs. Lion and I are married for almost 16 years. We are both happy campers. Popular opinion would suggest that we shouldn’t be happy or still together. The main causes of divorce are sex and money. We have a Grand Canyon-sized gap in the sex area.

About a decade ago, give or take several years, Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex. I didn’t. For a while, we went down the expected path of an upset, horny husband and a quiet, distanced wife. She gave me a handjob about once a month. Sex was dead. If we continued this way, it might have driven us apart. Mrs. Lion was feeling neglected, and I wanted real sex.

If it weren’t for the fact that we are completely in love, I would have probably found sex outside of our marriage, and inevitable separation and divorce would have followed. I can’t imagine not being married to Mrs. Lion. I can’t hurt her.

I’m not going to claim that male chastity and domestic discipline saved our marriage. It didn’t. What changed was the size of the gap between us. It closed up completely. Orgasm control and domestic discipline provide tools that allow us to bridge the sexual interest gap.

It turns out that the issue wasn’t the loss of love or goodwill. It was working out ways to replace the normal sexual pull of two horny partners with something else that works. Male chastity and domestic discipline are games couples can play. Please don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean they are casual leisure-time pursuits. They aren’t. But, they are also not lifestyle changes designed to cure and manage serious problems. Ask couples who try to control a partner’s drinking. All the spankings in the world aren’t going to cure alcoholism. By the same token, those spankings will train a man to end an annoying habit.

Here’s how these two games work for us. Because Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex for herself, she has no biological drive to push her into sex with me. Male chastity is an agreement that I get no sex that she doesn’t provide. She agrees to tease me at least every other day and, when she decides I am ready, makes me ejaculate. Male chastity devices are available to assure that I obey this agreement. She locked me in one full time for over three years. I only got out when she wanted to tease me.

Over time, I was conditioned to happily allow her to tease me to the edge of orgasm and stop. I have learned never to gratify myself. It’s an exciting game for me and a manageable way for Mrs. Lion to keep me sexually happy. I guess it is similar to owning a cow. If you take on that ownership, you need to milk her regularly. It’s the same thing with me. Mrs. Lion knows I need a certain amount of attention and eventual release. Since we agreed to how this would be provided, there are no hard feelings and passive-aggressiveness about sex. We have a happy solution to a serious problem.

Domestic discipline is a little different. On the surface, it looks like a way for a woman to control her husband. Bad behavior is punished painfully with spankings. The idea is that these spankings if delivered consistently for offenses, will help cure those bad habits.

The reality isn’t like that. First of all, I like the idea of being spanked. It’s sexually arousing. Because of that, I want Mrs. Lion to discipline me. That’s the male side of the game. The female side is different. Mrs. Lion knows I like the idea of being spanked. It’s this interest in it that makes me meekly accept punishment. In that respect, DD is a game, and she spanks me because I want it.

But that’s not all. If Mrs. Lion’s spankings are sufficiently strict, I will hate being paddled. This fear of pain works the same with an adult as it does with a child. I unconsciously associate the pain of a spanking with the behavior that earned it. This only works up to a point. Serious character flaws like excessive drinking or smoking are unlikely to be spanked away. Interrupting or forgetting a chore can be cured with a sufficiently severe butt beating.

That doesn’t mean the behavior is eliminated. It is corrected until I “forget” how much I hate the result of breaking a rule. In practice, once the behavior is under control, reminder spankings are generally needed a month or so after the last “reminder.” In the beginning, before the behavior is controlled, every offense has to be punished. That’s how it’s played.

You might think this is all work by the female for her kinky male’s entertainment. On one level, it is. However, game or no game, domestic discipline works. The offenses do taper off. Yes, I still forget to set up the coffee pot. Every time I do, Mrs. Lion blisters my bottom as a reminder. It works.

There is another, more subtle benefit for the wife. The agreement that allows her to set the rules and enforce them guarantees that her voice will be heard. He (me) may rule the den, but she can make sure I hear any objections she might have. She can punish me any time she wants. We agree that she has that right. I don’t have anything to say about it.

On one level, that’s a very sexy idea. It’s hot thinking that she can spank me for any reason at all. The actual spanking, along with the reminder of why I am being punished, is no fun at all. I’m too stupid to remember that. A ten-minute DWC spanking refreshes my memory.

Rather than wait until I offend again, Mrs. Lion provides a reminder regularly. It’s my “just because” spankings. I get these to keep the reason I need to follow her leadership front of mind. The theory is that if these are provided often enough, I will offend less because I have a fresh memory of what happens if I break a rule.

We haven’t proven that this works as intended. We have learned that “just because” spankings recharges Mrs. Lion’s observational batteries. She doesn’t particularly like spanking me. She really enjoys observing me and catching break rules. From her point of view, spanking me doesn’t improve the game for her. Simply catching me offend is her fun. She knows that spanking is my side of the equation. Simply catching me and growling has little effect on me. Catching me and punishing me raises the stakes of the game for me. That makes me work harder to avoid being caught. She has to work harder to catch me.

If I manage to avoid being caught for too long, the game loses appeal for her. I forget why I need to avoid punishment. A “just because” spanking reminds us both. Mrs. Lion hasn’t figured out how often we need these. I think she decided that at least once every two-to-three weeks, I need paddling. She isn’t sure how often she needs to spank me to recharge her interest in the game.

Both games have real consequences for me. Mrs. Lion knows this. She’s learned that she can spank me as hard and long as she wants without causing real injury. She also knows that I will docilely wait for her to make me ejaculate. She may not revel in power over me, but she gets real value from our play.

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In: Spanking

Some Mondays are more “Monday” than others. I was late starting for work because I couldn’t get my buns moving. I couldn’t get logged into a program at work until the admin reset my password. I’ll probably have trouble tomorrow as well because I set it to the same password. My printer needed ink, and someone put the 202A and 206A ink together, so it was fun taking out the wrong ink twice. And various other Monday things are happening.

It shouldn’t be any surprise. The weekend was just like Monday. Lion still slept a lot on Sunday even though he said he was fine to play. He kept falling asleep watching TV without realizing it. By late afternoon, I didn’t feel like whomping him anyway. Maybe he’ll be more awake tonight. The dog woke me up at 6, so I’m not sure I’ll be awake, but we’ll give it a shot. In fairness, I fell asleep a few times for five or ten minutes yesterday.

Lion is bummed out about not getting out of the house. I don’t know what to do to solve that issue. We didn’t try to get the dog into the camper, but I don’t think she would have made it. She’s really not doing well. I tried looking for last-minute hotel rooms so we could take the car and make it easier for the dog to get in and out. There are available rooms, but the non-bedbug-looking hotels are pretty expensive. I’ll keep looking. I don’t want Lion to miss out on the trip. In the meantime, we both have prescriptions at the grocery store, and I think we need to do a Costco run. That will get him out of the house for a little while. Granted, it’s not a trip, but it’s the best I can do right now. I’m also plotting going out to dinner another night if we don’t go on our trip. I need to concentrate on the little wins for getting him out. [Lion — We have coupons for free dinners at a local casino. That might be fun too.]

If we don’t go out tonight, I’ll bring out the spanking bench. This morning, Lion reminded me it was punishment day. I said he doesn’t have anything on the books. He said it didn’t matter because he’s going to be spanked anyway. That’s true, but I think it’s a different mindset between being spanked for breaking a rule and being spanked just because. He agrees—poor Lion butt.

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In: Spanking
one cheek sized paddle
Broad-faced, stingy paddle. Click image to view larger.

I was under the weather on Saturday. I barely finished my post before I had to go to sleep. Whatever was causing my malaise seems to have left town. I feel much more like my old self now. I let Mrs. Lion know so that she can move forward with her plans to make me yelp.

She pointed out that I reacted more to a spanking on the bench. It hurt more, a lot more. The bench simulates the classic over-the-knee position. My hips are on the bench, and my legs hang free. That stretches my glutes. I’ve learned that this position is the most painful. It hurts a lot less if my legs aren’t bent as far.

the spanking spoon against lion's ass
Spanking spoon. This spoon-shaped paddle packs a mean wallop.
(Click image to view larger)

Mrs. Lion also benefits. She can move around me and easily adjust her position for maximum effect. It’s not as intimate as OTK. The loss of intimacy is offset by the greater leverage that translates to a lot more pain. Given this increase in sensation, Mrs. Lion has more options. If she begins my spanking with one of our larger paddles, she will generate a lot more sting and general redness. If she then switches to the spanking spoon, she can easily produce her trademark’s long-lasting pain.

There’s no reason why she can’t just do ten minutes with the spoon. It will be a lot worse for me, but isn’t that the idea of spanking me? This is all up to her.

I’m still tired, but it isn’t as bad as it was on Saturday. So please forgive the shorter-than-usual post. I’m sure things will be back to normal tomorrow.

By:
In: Spanking
Lion, freshly spanked on his new spanking bench. His position is almost exactly the same as it would be if he were over my knee. His butt is nicely stretched out.

I did not whomp Lion as soon as I got home. We received the original strap he ordered, as well as the replacement straps. We had no idea which, if either, would work. The first strap is leather and looks like it would work well to hold Lion still. The other straps look like luggage straps. They are nylon with the standard connectors prevalent on nylon belts.

After dinner, I brought out the spanking bench. We never really discussed where we would use it. I put it at an angle in the dressing area. The cover is some linen material, so I decided to protect it with a towel. I fed the leather strap underneath, and Lion got into position. The leather strap didn’t quite meet. Phooey! All that time waiting for it, and it didn’t work. I grabbed one of the nylon straps, and it was too long when adjusted to its full length. No problem. I snugged it up, so it held him to the bench. We got four of these straps so that I can use more than one for the bench, or I can use them for other activities.

I realized that the bench position gave me easy access to my paddle collection that lives in a shoe organizer hanging on the closet door. I had chosen two paddles, but it’s nice to have options. He seemed to be at the right height. It was a good choice.

I started slowly. At least I thought I did. Lion was yelping right off the bat. As I whomped harder, he really yelled. His buns were getting pretty bruised too. But he wasn’t bleeding much. We concluded that his skin is stretched tighter on the bench. I’m sure that made my swats feel harder. I don’t know if the stretched skin explains the bleeding or lack thereof.

I don’t know how long I’d been spanking him when I realized I never set a timer. I should have whomped for ten minutes. Given the bruising or the look of bruising, I stopped early. Afterward, I suggested a five-minute timer since he feels the swats so much more. He didn’t like that idea. He suggested using a larger paddle in the beginning. That would spread the “love” out better. I know I have a large paddle somewhere. I’ll have to search for it.

Of course, this was the maiden voyage of the S.S. Spanking Bench. We can tweak all sorts of things before we settle on the best way to use it. I decided we’ll give it another try on Saturday. That gives Lion’s butt some time to heal and forget last night’s swats. He’s all for that.