Sex (Page 142)

What’s the first thing a guy interested in enforced chastity talks about? Hardware. OK, what’s the second? Security. So according to all of us, enforced chastity is about the right device that is secure enough to prevent us from escaping. Right? Does anyone besides me see a problem with this? First, let me say that I am no different from anyone else. I spent years exploring hardware. I read and wrote endless forum posts and articles on how to assure escape would be difficult and detectable. Now, of course, I see the errors of my ways.

There’s a pretty good chance most of the people reading this share these obsessions. Enforced chastity is about secure penis bondage. Actually, it really isn’t. You don’t need any hardware to practice it. It’s about surrendering sexual control to someone else. You give that other person, your keyholder, the right to decide if and when you get sex of any kind.

“See?” you say, “You need secure hardware to assure that control has been transferred to someone else.” That would only be true if a tribe of Amazons captured you and took your cock hostage. Under those conditions, according to the Geneva Convention, you have a duty to escape. But that’s not what happened, is it?

You decided you wanted to surrender control and you asked someone to assume that control. She didn’t ask you to give her your cock. She never threatened to leave you unless you were prevented from having erections without her supervision. She probably didn’t much care if you jerked off as long as you were available for the sex she desired. So, who is the one who wants you firmly locked into a chastity device? You, of course.

As long as I’ve known about them, I’ve found the idea of wearing a chastity device arousing. The idea that a “thing” could take away my favorite toy and turn control over to someone else is amazingly hot. Further, the idea that once locked on, I couldn’t “change my mind” is even more exciting.

Many guys, including me, find the idea of forcibly having control taken from us very hot. The idea that Mrs. Lion has the key to my penis locked away and she will only unlock it when she wants to tease me, or occasionally, get me to ejaculate, is a living fantasy. My fantasy. I know she never had a fantasy like that.

What if instead of the locked penis fantasy, I asked Mrs. Lion to take control of my sexuality. I would agree not to touch my penis for pleasure and would wait for her to provide any fun at all. Violations of this agreement would either end it or get me spanked. Would that work too? Of course it would. “But,” that little voice inside me shouts, “You could sneak a wank in the shower or anyplace else you are alone.” Ah ha! So the locked device is to prevent me from being dishonest about the surrender I asked for? I’m going to cheat on my own fantasy?

“But, but,” that voice says plaintively, “Even with a device, if it isn’t secure enough you can secretly pull out, jerk off, and go back in.” Hmmm. Who would I be cheating? Mrs. Lion? Well, yes. But mostly I would be cheating myself.

How did I get myself into this obviously stupid way of thinking? The answer is that I started out the process by thinking I needed a device to keep me honest. I convinced myself that my penis is an independent creature with no interest in what the rest of me wants. It has a mind of its own. Really? That sort of crap went away decades ago. My penis is part of me. My desire for sex is one of my most powerful motivators. But, it is under my control. Do I really need to be protected from myself?

Enforced chastity assumes some maturity on the part of the male who wants it. It requires a bond of trust between keyholder and caged male. No matter how frustrated and horny I become, there is never a reason for me to cheat. Never. Hardware just makes things a bit more fun. Maybe this will give you an idea why I say that “security” is the least important thing about a chastity device. If you disagree, reread this post.

Both of us are improving. I made it to work yesterday. I’m not back to full speed, but at least I’m not falling off my paws. Without the distraction of sexual activity or, for my part, any real interest in sex, I find myself becoming more introspective about exactly what we are doing. Philosophically, am I really in bondage if I don’t want to move anyway? Yes, my penis is locked up and is unable to get hard or otherwise express itself sexually. If it weren’t locked, would something change? Would I suddenly need to masturbate or find another female? The answer is, no. So what’s the point?

Isn’t the big point of any power exchange that the dominant partner exerts will or force over the submissive partner? That means, by definition, that the submissive partner is prevented from either doing something or avoiding something that hurts, is humiliating, or in some other way is not wanted. Clearly, since this is consensual, the submissive partner is actually being made to do something he agreed to accept.

With enforced chastity the agreement is to allow the keyholder to control all male sexual expression. The assumption is that the male will want sex and he will be denied it until the keyholder decides to let him express it. This is most apparent in orgasm control. The male wants to come, but he can’t. He is locked into a chastity device that won’t even let him get hard. Hence, enforced chastity.

What happens if the male doesn’t want to come? His interest in getting off has evaporated. Has the power exchange ended? He may be locked into a chastity device but it has no effect on him since he doesn’t care about sex. Some keyholders would love this situation. They may have locked up their partners because they didn’t want to deal with his sex drive. Most aren’t like this. They enjoy the tension, increased communication, and the sexual energy that having a locked penis can create. The more he wants to orgasm, the higher the energy level. The locked penis is a sexual battery fully charged and ready to spark.

If that battery loses its charge, the fun goes out of the game. A pat on the ass no longer gets that little gasp. Suggestive comments don’t light up the desperation in his eyes. This is the point that the keyholder needs to recharge that battery.

If enforced chastity has taught me anything, it taught me that male sexuality is a lot more complex than I ever imagined. I’ve learned that after a given length of time without an orgasm, even with daily edging, I will lose interest in finally coming. Other guys have described this too. It becomes easier and easier to wait. The teasing feels wonderful, but I lose the desperate need for my lioness to go just one more stroke to push me over the edge. When the session is over and there is no ejaculation, I’m not humping air. I’m not begging for release. I just lose my erection and wait to be locked up again.

My sexual battery loses its ability to take a full charge. That changes immediately after I get to come. I may be at a point where the orgasm isn’t a blinding light, but rather a jolt of relief. It doesn’t matter. Within a day or so I am ready to be teased and made so desperate for release that I will do anything to improve my chances. A couple of weeks later my ability to take a full charge has diminished noticeably.

Enforced chastity is a delicate dance. Every male is different. Some, unlike me, will remain fully charged for months on end. Others will start fading in a few days. A critical keyholder skill is knowing how to maintain her caged male’s sexual battery on full charge.

I’m back to work today. Mrs. Lion is still under the weather. I think she is about a day behind me in recovery. I’ve lost three days of work. Since I am an hourly consultant, we have lost a good bit of income. If we could afford it, I would take today off too. There’s no question that I am recovering. I’ve managed to stay awake all day today and was able to prepare lunch and dinner. This is the first time since last Wednesday that I have been able to do anything useful.

I’m still locked in the Jail Bird. This is the most continuous time I have been caged without any time out. It’s not really a problem. After all this time in the device, I hardly know it is there. I have no interest in sex. I am not certain when that will return. It’s not that my libido left town when I got sick. Well, actually it did. I wonder if it will return on its own.

I have a theory. Female mammals, with the exception of humans and some other higher apes, only go into heat when they are fertile. In the case of lion, the real ones, a female with cubs won’t go into heat until they are grown and away from the pride. That’s the big reason that when a new lion taking over a pride will kill all the cubs. That act will put all the lionesses into heat. That’s not my theory. I just wanted to account for the female side and the biological reasons for heat. It’s commonly thought that we males are always in heat. We are supposed to be actively seeking sex without interruption.

Most of the enforced chastity fantasies depend on that false assumption: lock us up and we will go crazy with desire the longer we are unable to get relief. The authors of these fantasies happen to be males, by the way. But it’s just not true. Left locked up with no sexual stimulation, we will not go so insane that we will do anything for an edging. Over time we will just forget about sex entirely. 2.0 knows this very well. After she recovers, I’m sure she will get busy reminding me what I’ve been missing.

I think that we guys sometimes misinterpret our own responses. A very large number of caged males report that after an extended period of enforced chastity, they lose interest in their own orgasms and get their pleasure from pleasing their partners. This is usually interpreted as a transfer of their desire to orgasm to their partner’s pleasure. Somehow, sexual desire has become sexual altruism.

I’m not denying that is how it feels. I have had similar feelings from time to time. Of course, Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in her own sexual satisfaction so I have never actually been able to experience the transfer. Of course that hasn’t stopped me form coming up with my own theory. I don’t know if this is right or not, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about. Lockup without release, with or without teasing, trains us not to expect orgasms. We get pleasure from the attention we get and we get pleasure from providing orgasms for our partners. However, we are being conditioned not to have orgasms ourselves. We are adaptable critters, so we sexually evolve to change not only our expectations but also the activities that give us sexual feelings. Instead of being frustrated by the edging and teasing, we learn to enjoy it and encourage it. We adapt.

The degree of adaptation depends on the consistency of the changes. If orgasms become extremely rare, then chances are good we will develop a Sexual Stockholm effect and work with our keyholders to limit or eliminate our own ejaculations. This is exactly what we asked for. It’s a massively hot fantasy. For some, the reality is even better.

Maybe this is the sexual equivalent of candy. We wanted it and when we got it we liked it a lot. As kids we we had dreams of eating candy and nothing else. It seemed perfect. Enforced chastity can be similar. We wanted it, liked it when we tried it, and want it all the time. Too much candy can make you sick. It’s unclear what eliminating male orgasm will do over time. Well, you won’t get cavities from it. However, a more balanced diet may be more fun for both you and your keyholder.