Bright, Shiny Objects

What’s the first thing a guy interested in enforced chastity talks about? Hardware. OK, what’s the second? Security. So according to all of us, enforced chastity is about the right device that is secure enough to prevent us from escaping. Right? Does anyone besides me see a problem with this? First, let me say that I am no different from anyone else. I spent years exploring hardware. I read and wrote endless forum posts and articles on how to assure escape would be difficult and detectable. Now, of course, I see the errors of my ways.

There’s a pretty good chance most of the people reading this share these obsessions. Enforced chastity is about secure penis bondage. Actually, it really isn’t. You don’t need any hardware to practice it. It’s about surrendering sexual control to someone else. You give that other person, your keyholder, the right to decide if and when you get sex of any kind.

“See?” you say, “You need secure hardware to assure that control has been transferred to someone else.” That would only be true if a tribe of Amazons captured you and took your cock hostage. Under those conditions, according to the Geneva Convention, you have a duty to escape. But that’s not what happened, is it?

You decided you wanted to surrender control and you asked someone to assume that control. She didn’t ask you to give her your cock. She never threatened to leave you unless you were prevented from having erections without her supervision. She probably didn’t much care if you jerked off as long as you were available for the sex she desired. So, who is the one who wants you firmly locked into a chastity device? You, of course.

As long as I’ve known about them, I’ve found the idea of wearing a chastity device arousing. The idea that a “thing” could take away my favorite toy and turn control over to someone else is amazingly hot. Further, the idea that once locked on, I couldn’t “change my mind” is even more exciting.

Many guys, including me, find the idea of forcibly having control taken from us very hot. The idea that Mrs. Lion has the key to my penis locked away and she will only unlock it when she wants to tease me, or occasionally, get me to ejaculate, is a living fantasy. My fantasy. I know she never had a fantasy like that.

What if instead of the locked penis fantasy, I asked Mrs. Lion to take control of my sexuality. I would agree not to touch my penis for pleasure and would wait for her to provide any fun at all. Violations of this agreement would either end it or get me spanked. Would that work too? Of course it would. “But,” that little voice inside me shouts, “You could sneak a wank in the shower or anyplace else you are alone.” Ah ha! So the locked device is to prevent me from being dishonest about the surrender I asked for? I’m going to cheat on my own fantasy?

“But, but,” that voice says plaintively, “Even with a device, if it isn’t secure enough you can secretly pull out, jerk off, and go back in.” Hmmm. Who would I be cheating? Mrs. Lion? Well, yes. But mostly I would be cheating myself.

How did I get myself into this obviously stupid way of thinking? The answer is that I started out the process by thinking I needed a device to keep me honest. I convinced myself that my penis is an independent creature with no interest in what the rest of me wants. It has a mind of its own. Really? That sort of crap went away decades ago. My penis is part of me. My desire for sex is one of my most powerful motivators. But, it is under my control. Do I really need to be protected from myself?

Enforced chastity assumes some maturity on the part of the male who wants it. It requires a bond of trust between keyholder and caged male. No matter how frustrated and horny I become, there is never a reason for me to cheat. Never. Hardware just makes things a bit more fun. Maybe this will give you an idea why I say that “security” is the least important thing about a chastity device. If you disagree, reread this post.


  1. Author

    My wife and I both are rather pragmatic people, and don’t easily “suspend disbelief”. This causes a lot of the stereotypical BDSM scenarios (bad cop, interrogation, naughty schoolgirl, etc.) to leave us cold. On the other hand, she really likes to be tied up, and the right kind of pain is definitely erotic to her. And of course, I like having my cock locked up in a stainless steel tube.

    What we’ve noticed is that the fantasies associated with these desires are rather fragile, and don’t stand up well to being examined too closely. Naturally, if she got into trouble, I’d untie her, and I’m not going to physically damage her. And, I know she does the chastity thing mostly for me.

    But despite having no real objective logic behind them, these activities are still very hot for us, on a very fundamental, almost subconscious, level. Therefore, we choose not to look at them too hard, so she continues to enjoy the ligature marks on her wrists, and I the titillating weight dangling from my penis.

    Humans can be weird sometimes…

    1. Author

      You aren’t unusual. Enforced chastity and BDSM are consensual activities. I would suggest that if your wife is showing ligature marks, that you consider this is a potential safety issue. A good set of leather restraints, at least four inches wide, will protect her. If she is having fun, she won’t notice circulation problems. You should also touch her hand every five or ten minutes to make sure they aren’t cold. Cold hands indicate reduced circulation. Sorry for going all dungeon monitor on you, but play safety is critical. Have fun.

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