By:
In: Lion's Journal, Sex

Before we began enforced chastity I wasn’t particularly aware of my general level of sexual interest. When I got horny, I would have an orgasm; either by my own hand or from Mrs. Lion. It wasn’t an event worth noting. That’s all changed now. Since my opportunities to have an orgasm are controlled by my lioness, I’ve been acutely aware of my level of interest in sex as well as noting those times I actually get to ejaculate. I even have a spreadsheet recording the orgasmic events.

As Mrs. Lion has observed, I’m not very horny. Ever since my last orgasm (let me check the spreadsheet) on April 29 I haven’t really felt sexual at all. She’s unlocks me anyway and gives teasing me the old college try to get me to the edge. It’s always distressing to me when her efforts go unanswered. I’d like to claim that external pressure from my current contracting job ending is to blame. But that’s not true. We’ve been in tough situations before and my flagpole reliably kept going up.

Maybe it’s just a hormonal cycle. That’s a reasonable possibility. It could be that due to external pressure; I’m preoccupied. Perhaps I just need a jump start; some mental teasing that will divert my energy away from troubles and toward the old reliable. That’s worked in the past.

My malaise extends to other areas of my life. Last weekend’s visit to the casino wore very thin after being there a short time. I just wasn’t as entertained by the noise and activity as usual. Things aren’t much fun right now.

I tend to be an optimistic person. Right now that optimism has left with my libido. You may be wondering what this has to do with enforced chastity; physically: nothing. I remain in the chastity device as usual. It’s in place as is my wedding ring. I have no desire to remove it. It wouldn’t make me feel any better if I weren’t wearing it.

Efforts to cheer me up are everywhere. I just noticed my cough drop wrappers are sending me a pep talk. We have some Hall’s cough drops. On the wrapper are some pithy words from the coach: “Let’s hear your battle cry”, “Put your game face on”, “Power through”, and “Bet on yourself.” I guess Hall’s caught something from those Taco Bell sauce packets.

I’ll share a secret with you: When Mrs. Lion writes a post with hot plans for me that night or weekend, I get a rush. It’s a kind of personalized porn that comes true. I’m not sure I am susceptible to that right now. I might be. I’ve never told anyone about my reactions to her posts and emails until now. I guess a non-sexual, broken-lion period is a good opportunity to get things off my chest.

There is a more general lesson in all this. I’ve had several times like this one where my interest in sex and play waned and it felt like they were never coming back. Through these periods we never changed our practices. My cage stays on. The rules are in force and I get punished for breaking them. My emotional state is not relevant when it comes to enforced chastity and our female led relationship.

That’s a very good thing. A “fair weather” power exchange that operates only when both parties are feeling good is, at best, a hobby. Enforced chastity and FLR are facts of life for us. Thinking about that makes me feel a bit better.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Power Exchange, Sex

I believe that enforced male chastity is going mainstream. We were interviewed by The Huffington Post for a podcast. The coverage was positive. It wasn’t one of those “weird sex” pieces often done on the Internet (MSN.com, for example). We both enjoyed the experience. I have been contacted by others interested in male chastity. This feels different to me than snarky humor pieces and porn-related discussions. I always ask why the interest in this oddball kink we share. The answer is always that people are interested. I assume by “people” they mean ordinary, non-kinky citizens. Is this all fallout from Fifty Shades of Grey?

I don’t think so. That’s old stuff by now. Our readership has steadily grown, but not enough to suggest John Q. Public is hitting the search engines looking for male chastity. I’ve noticed something else: There is a lot more being written and discussed about women taking sexual charge. Classic male-centrist porn is full of busty women tied to beds being turned into willing sex slaves. “Yes Master!” is their rallying call. In real life there are plenty of female bottoms. I was a top for a couple of decades and can personally attest to that. But female tops, other than pay-for-spanks “mistresses” have always been rare. The few I know get  inundated by wannabe submissives aggressively soliciting them. No wonder they keep a low profile. Maybe there are more than I imagine.

I suspect that many women wouldn’t mind a bit if they could take charge in some ways with their partners. One reason we started this blog was to provide women with a safe place to learn about being the top in a sexual power exchange. It may be that a woman who is secure in her relationship when presented with a reasonable male fantasy about enforced chastity might just say, “What the hell” and try it. That’s what happened to us. There are other bloggers who also started this way. It’s safe for the woman. She doesn’t have to get black leather outfits and carry a riding crop. All she has to do is hold a key. If she doesn’t like how things are going, she can give the key back; no harm, no foul.

We can’t claim that our blogs are doing all that much to raise public awareness. The only way to find us is to search a relevant topic.  The vast majority of people have no idea there is such a thing as enforced male chastity. I suspect that since a good number of our blogs approach male chastity with a much more realistic view, that men who might have clicked away thinking we were porn sites, are doing some reading and getting interested in this new-to-them idea. I’ll bet some of them are writing members of the press who in turn research the subject and decide to write about it. I can’t imagine any other reasonable explanation for our recent attention.

In my mind, much more important than the mainstream media discovering our kink, is that ordinary people who somehow stumble on the idea of enforced male chastity, find sources like this one and take the time to get a realistic idea of what we are all about. This begins to elevate us out of the porn morass and into an area where people believe they actually can try our kink. Let’s face it, even if more people listen to our stories, they may just walk away shaking their heads. At least they are no longer unaware.

Of course, twenty years ago almost no one knew about S&M. The prevalent belief was that leather-clad dominant men kidnapped women, raped and murdered them. Over recent years a load of bodice-ripping romance novels like Fifty Shades of Grey popularized the idea of recreational S&M. In fact, a few  years ago a study found that over 80% of women and 70% of men had fantasies about being tied up. The ground is extremely fertile for power exchange. People like us (you, Mrs. Lion, and I) provide real life examples of sexual power exchanges. The dungeon has moved to the bedroom.

It’s only natural that a practice like enforced chastity will emerge as a manageable sexual kink. It doesn’t cause pain and doesn’t require anything other than a chastity device and two interested people. A cheap, over-the-counter chastity device costs less than $50 USD and it’s all that’s needed to get a taste of enforced male chastity. We may be heading into the mainstream after all.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Sex

OK, Mythbusters, here’s one that comes from the Huffington Post podcast on male chastity had several interviews on this topic, including us. In that interview, one man claimed that he couldn’t do enforced chastity because he got so horny that he couldn’t pay attention to work. There it is; the blue ball excuse. Guys have used this excuse in many guises to wheedle sex from a reluctant girl. Remember high school and college? They continue to use it with their wives to get a little action when horny.

How true is this claim that when in heat, human males are so distracted by the need for sex that they become unproductive drones? Enforced chastity is a very good way to test this claim. Once locked in, sex of any kind is impossible. Anyway, this guy in the podcast said that after only a few days of lockup he was consumed by sexual thoughts. He was unable to think about anything else.

Since we can’t be inside the heads of others, we need to look at this claim from the outside. First, do human males lose any ability for voluntary action when too horny? That can’t be right. If it were, the number of traffic deaths would go up dramatically. Who hasn’t been horny while driving? We do manage to keep our jobs and avoid killing our spouses even when tree-humping horny. We don’t know of a case where a guy had permanent damage when he doesn’t get an orgasm, even for an extended time. And my balls, at least, don’t turn blue. I searched and couldn’t find any references to a male spontaneously combusting out of sexual need.

So why did he feel that he couldn’t continue wearing the device because sexual need overwhelmed him? My theory is that he found the idea of his cock locked up very exciting. He obsessed over his sexual fantasy coming true. Also, saying he couldn’t wear a chastity device because it got him to aroused is a nice excuse to take it off and masturbate.

I suspect that the main reason he unlocked was because he had no one holding the key. He found the idea of a chastity device hot. He got one and put it on. It turned him on and he got into the idea of a locked cock. So he took it off. It was too exciting. Classic blue balls.

We males not only fool sexual partners with the blue balls excuse, we fool ourselves as well. For the record, nobody dies of sexual desire. Physically, our bodies manage sexual deprivation with morning wood and sometimes wet dreams. Unejaculated semen is absorbed back into the body. We have no ill effects from long term abstinence. A few days without ejaculation certainly isn’t going to hurt any guy.

The reason I had a problem with including this comment in the podcast distracts from the actual facts about enforced chastity. It wastes time with a patently silly case of blue balls. There’s nothing wrong with buying a chastity device and wearing it until you want to take it off. I couldn’t consider that chastity, much less enforced chastity. It’s temporary bondage for personal amusement.

My point is that blue balls is a myth. Being horny without relief can be a bit painful and certainly frustrating but it isn’t a medical condition. If it were, I’d have died from it in the last two years I’ve been locked up. But see? I’m still alive and horny. This myth is BUSTED!

 

 

By:
In: Edging, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Enforced chastity is a quirky corner in the world of kink. Most people never heard of it. Even in the world of BDSM it’s unknown. Surprisingly, most of the people who buy chastity devices have no idea that there are some people who wear them all the time. The typical purchaser buys it for hot, occasional play with never a thought about being locked in a device all the time. Those of us who somehow wandered into this corner of kink have the Internet to thank for any information we happened to glean on this subject.

Mrs. Lion and I learned about the hardware on the Web. We, mostly I, spent hours and hours reading what others have written about how this hardware is used. We (me) also got ideas on how people use this hardware to support a full-time practice of lockup and orgasm control. Like most, we used some of what we read and invented the rest.

Probably the most unbelievable part of this practice to outsiders is the fact that men who are in enforced chastity have so few orgasms, not to mention only have them when their keyholder wants. “How can you let yourself get into that situation?” is a frequent question. That question is generally asked in the context of reduced orgasms.

Most guys have sex of some sort about three times a week. Sex to them is being stimulated to ejaculation either with a partner or alone. My average is once every couple of weeks and always with my partner and keyholder. Ahh. You have sex once for every six times the typical male does. That’s only 16% of the average. That’s crazy!

Wrong. I have sex on average of 50 times a week. Almost every night Mrs. Lion stimulates me to the very edge of ejaculation over and over. She gets me to the point every fiber in my being wants her to keep going so I can ejaculate; but she doesn’t. I figure that she gets me over 90% of the way to ejaculation and orgasm. “How terrible,” you’re thinking. Poor, frustrated lion. If you’re a glass-half-full sort of person, that’s true. But if you are a glass-90%-full guy like me, you’re thinking, “Wow! He gets 90% of the way to an orgasm fifty times every week. That’s amazing.”

It’s true that when Mrs. Lion finishes a session, I am left weak, sweaty, and panting for more. Isn’t that how you are supposed to feel after good sex? The hard part is that after all that edging I am more desperate for sex than when she started. It’s also true that it doesn’t feel very good when she suddenly stops just before I reach the peak. That’s why it is called orgasm control.

If you define sex in terms of orgasm count, then yes, I get only 1/6th the orgasms of the average guy. I’m usually tree-humping horny, dreaming of the next chance I get to ejaculate. I’m frustrated and desperate for an orgasm. But am I grumpy and feeling deprived? No. I’m hopeful and looking forward to the next session which will undoubtedly end with me begging for release.

I’m actually very lucky. Each and every week I get at lest fifty chances to almost experience an orgasm. The fact that I didn’t get to go over the top leaves me ready to do it again and again without pause. Some say this is the male equivalent of female multiple orgasms. I must like it. I always cone back for more. No matter how frustrated I know it will leave me, I look forward to those trips just below the peak. It’s a good thing. 2.0 has made it clear that this is how my life will continue to go. I’m very happy to learn that. I’m having a very good time. I feel sorry for those poor guys who only have sex three times a week.