Before we began enforced chastity I wasn’t particularly aware of my general level of sexual interest. When I got horny, I would have an orgasm; either by my own hand or from Mrs. Lion. It wasn’t an event worth noting. That’s all changed now. Since my opportunities to have an orgasm are controlled by my lioness, I’ve been acutely aware of my level of interest in sex as well as noting those times I actually get to ejaculate. I even have a spreadsheet recording the orgasmic events.
As Mrs. Lion has observed, I’m not very horny. Ever since my last orgasm (let me check the spreadsheet) on April 29 I haven’t really felt sexual at all. She’s unlocks me anyway and gives teasing me the old college try to get me to the edge. It’s always distressing to me when her efforts go unanswered. I’d like to claim that external pressure from my current contracting job ending is to blame. But that’s not true. We’ve been in tough situations before and my flagpole reliably kept going up.
Maybe it’s just a hormonal cycle. That’s a reasonable possibility. It could be that due to external pressure; I’m preoccupied. Perhaps I just need a jump start; some mental teasing that will divert my energy away from troubles and toward the old reliable. That’s worked in the past.
My malaise extends to other areas of my life. Last weekend’s visit to the casino wore very thin after being there a short time. I just wasn’t as entertained by the noise and activity as usual. Things aren’t much fun right now.
I tend to be an optimistic person. Right now that optimism has left with my libido. You may be wondering what this has to do with enforced chastity; physically: nothing. I remain in the chastity device as usual. It’s in place as is my wedding ring. I have no desire to remove it. It wouldn’t make me feel any better if I weren’t wearing it.
Efforts to cheer me up are everywhere. I just noticed my cough drop wrappers are sending me a pep talk. We have some Hall’s cough drops. On the wrapper are some pithy words from the coach: “Let’s hear your battle cry”, “Put your game face on”, “Power through”, and “Bet on yourself.” I guess Hall’s caught something from those Taco Bell sauce packets.
I’ll share a secret with you: When Mrs. Lion writes a post with hot plans for me that night or weekend, I get a rush. It’s a kind of personalized porn that comes true. I’m not sure I am susceptible to that right now. I might be. I’ve never told anyone about my reactions to her posts and emails until now. I guess a non-sexual, broken-lion period is a good opportunity to get things off my chest.
There is a more general lesson in all this. I’ve had several times like this one where my interest in sex and play waned and it felt like they were never coming back. Through these periods we never changed our practices. My cage stays on. The rules are in force and I get punished for breaking them. My emotional state is not relevant when it comes to enforced chastity and our female led relationship.
That’s a very good thing. A “fair weather” power exchange that operates only when both parties are feeling good is, at best, a hobby. Enforced chastity and FLR are facts of life for us. Thinking about that makes me feel a bit better.