By:
In: Communication, Rules

Last night, I had a silly thought. Why can’t Lion view his sling as a form of bondage? Of course that’s very silly since there’s nothing sexual about the sling that’s holding his arm in place while he heals. But, technically, it is a form of bondage. OK. Serious up.

I decided we should do our errands early so I can get the laundry done early and Lion can pack and then relax for the rest of the day. He didn’t sleep well last night. His shoulder hurts today. It seems like the perfect time to test out his cryotherapy machine. The laundry is in and he’s getting things all charged up for his trip.

Lion’s rules are suspended so I didn’t really notice if he put on his training collar before we went out. I do try to sneak a peek at his dresser to see if he remembered, or I try to connect to it with my phone. But, as I said, the rules are suspended. However, he was lagging a little behind me when I got in the truck and he said he had to circle back because he forgot something. I asked if it was the training collar. It was. He’s still trying to follow the rules. He’s afraid we’ll let everything go once he has his surgery and we’ll be back to square one.

Obviously, he’s not going to want sex for a while. He’ll be in pain and in no mood for love. Enforced chastity will just become plain, old chastity. But even though the rules are suspended, he can still try to follow them. We decided that, assuming he’s not loopy from drugs, I should point out when he breaks a rule. He won’t get punished, but at least we both know he’s trying to obey and I’m watching him. I’m not enforcing the rules, but I am still paying attention. That way it won’t be as difficult to jump back in once the rules are back in force.

In addition to that, we’ll decide when each rule comes back based on his recovery. It doesn’t make any sense for me to catch him interrupting me when he’s babbling on drugs. But, let’s say in a month, when he’s mostly off the pain meds, he’s coherent enough to understand that he’s interrupting, that rule may come back. If he’s able to eat without spilling everything all over the place, maybe in a few weeks, that rule can come back. If we’re going out and he remembers the training collar but can’t put it on by himself, he can ask me to put it on him. Then maybe that rule comes back.

There’s no magic formula to when the rules come back. It will depend on his progress and recovery. Maybe a rule comes back and has to be suspended again. That’s fine. We’ll just deal with it as it comes. The main thing is to maintain some semblance of FLR and, more importantly, communication.

By:
In: Rules

Just after Lion’s phone reminded him it was punishment day, he spilled something on his shirt. He’d reminded me of punishment day earlier, so he was already safe in that respect. And I teased him that there was still time to earn a punishment. The rule is, if I can see the stain he gets spanked. I said it may just be water. He said it wasn’t water.

On most materials, spots are dark while they’re still wet. Sometimes they dry and there’s no stain, as is the case with water. I think the spot may have been some sauce from whatever he was eating. I expected it to remain visible after it dried. It did not. Phew! That saved Lion’s butt.

I tease Lion sometimes that he should wear a Hawaiian print shirt so no one could see any food he might spill on himself. Is that spaghetti sauce or just a really ugly shirt? Maybe a Jackson Pollack shirt. Splashes of paint or splashes of soup? Last night it didn’t matter. The mysteriously disappearing stain did not earn him swats.

Next week, Lion is away on business. When he gets back, he has his pre-op appointment. Ten days later, he has his surgery. Since he seems to be in more and more pain, and a business trip will only exacerbate the situation, I’m suspending all rules until further notice. Obviously eating will be messier after the surgery. Not interrupting will be difficult when fighting pain and pain meds. Reminding me of punishment day when you’re not even sure what day it is, will be impossible. I say scrap them all now and we’ll reconvene as he recovers.

I’m fairly certain Lion will try to obey the rules even if they are suspended. He has in the past. I appreciate that. I just don’t want him to feel the pressure of any punishment. He is in enough pain right now, and will be in more pain initially after surgery. From what we’ve read, the first few days will be a real challenge. I want Lion to concentrate on getting better.

As a matter of fact, that’s his new rule: concentrate on getting better.

By:
In: Pain, Rules

Lion is still a pain. I mean, he’s still in pain. He thinks he’s being a pain because he’s asking me to do things for him. He’s not asking me to do anything I don’t normally do. Granted, I may be doing more of those things right now, but he’d do the same for me. Glass of water? Coming right up. Snack? Coming right up. Lunch, dinner, glass of water? Yes, yes, yes. I don’t mind being his nurse. The only thing he’s missing is a call button, but I’m usually not too far away anyway.

To me, it seems like he’s in worse pain than last week, but he reminded me that he was in the hospital that first night so I missed all that fun. Right now I’m trying to keep him as comfortable as possible so he can feel better. The issue is that the doctor wanted him to drink a lot of water to get the residual anesthesia out of his system. Then he had to pee more. Peeing hurts. My weenie is in pain. And it’s not the good kind of pain. Lion wants to know, if it’s my weenie, why isn’t it hurting me? I guess I’m an absentee landlord.

Last week I suspended the rules until Tuesday, I think. Lion said he thought he was well enough for them to be reinstated. Silly boy. I’m not sure if he was nervous about surgery the next day or not, but Lion forgot punishment night on Thursday. I didn’t punish him because he was afraid the doctors would notice any bruises I may have left on him. Valid point. I said I’d catch up with him on Saturday or Sunday, depending on how he feels. For some reason, I didn’t suspend the rules for the aftermath of this surgery. This morning we had our weigh-in. Lion gained a pound or two. It’s logical since he hadn’t been eating before the first surgery and was able to eat after it. So now he’ll be punished for gaining weight.

I was thinking about the whole weigh-in thing though. First, I should have suspended the rules after this surgery too. Second, obviously he’d gain weight on the eating week versus the non-eating week. Third, should we be doing averages instead of progress from one week to the next? What kind of average? I don’t know. Two-week rolling? Four-week rolling? Maybe it’s good the way it is. I think it would have been different if Lion really worked hard to lose those pounds the first week and then went crazy eating cookies and candy the next week to gain those pounds. But he was sick. That has to count for something.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Rules
go to jail card
It’s time for me to draw this card every time I disobey, even for trivial things.

Mrs. Lion and I both started domestic discipline without much real information. Sure, I’ve read lots of accounts on the Web about FLR and domestic discipline, but neither of us has actually talked with another couple who practices this. As a result, we’ve been feeling our way along in isolation. We would love to meet others in real life who practice this.

We’re both logical people. So we agreed to try male domestic discipline and then figure out how we could actually put it into action. We started with some rather trivial rules: no food spilled on my shirt, don’t eat before my lioness, don’t interrupt. Since I’m bound to break those rules fairly often, it gave us a chance to experience punishments. It’s taken us many months to get spankings painful enough to be a true deterrent. We still aren’t there yet, but Mrs. Lion is on her way.

As we mature in this practice, my rules have also expanded into areas that are more meaningful to our relationship. I am not allowed to shift a conversation so it is about me. Interrupting has been elevated into a much more important offense. I am also not allowed to expect Mrs. Lion to do something as soon as I think about it. No more, “Now, please!” I still have to keep my shirt clean and Mrs. Lion considers me eating first as a severe breech of manners. I agree.

We have a way to go. Punishments are limited to spanking so far. The intensity is probably lower than it should be. But there is rapid progress. I had a sore spot from Monday night that lasted all the way to Wednesday morning. Mrs. Lion is reluctantly increasing the intensity and, most importantly, the duration of spankings.

In case you wonder, the reason the spankings grow in pain and length is to make them true deterrents to future transgressions. I like to be spanked, though not the way I am currently punished. The advice of other spanking wives on the Web seem extreme (here’s one account). Mrs. Lion can’t ever see herself being that severe. She’s said that before, then 2.0 arrived. What we’re learning is that adult, non-recreational spanking is a bruising, painful event. It’s simply not effective unless it is. I think in my case, it’s what is best for me. We know we need to progress in the punishment department, so that trivial rules remain to give us more practice.

There’s also been progress in the definition of what earns me a punishment. I don’t have any particular problems that cry out for redress. So, for a long time Mrs. Lion was stumped as to where we should go next.  One area Mrs. Lion is only starting to explore is failure to do a required task. The first one that earned me a spanking was forgetting to wear my  training collar when we went out together. I have a standing rule that I must wear the collar anytime we are out together.  I’m careful to put it on now! In fact, last Sunday, I put it on in the morning so that when we eventually went shopping, it would be in place.

I wouldn’t have done that if the punishment for forgetting was mild. That’s why I’m starting to realize that I have to seriously fear the consequences for a rule to be truly effective. That’s beginning to happen. The objective isn’t to severely punish me. It’s to severely punish me enough so I won’t earn another spanking later.

The other day, Mrs. Lion asked me to take out the garbage. I was working from home, so it made sense for me to do in during the warmer daytime hours. It’s very cold having to bring the garbage out in our unheated garage on a winter night. Especially since I am required to be naked. I remembered to do it. While carrying it out, I realized that a very useful rule to consider is that if I forget to do anything Mrs. Lion asks me to do, I get severely punished. It’s up to me to work out how I will remember. I avoided forgetting the training collar by wearing it all day. I can probably make a list or do something else to assure I do what I am asked.

This is a very new idea for us. Up until now, I am only punished for offenses that have been explicitly defined in advance. I think Mrs. Lion considers an unannounced rule unfair to punish. However, one of the key tenets of FLR and domestic discipline is obedience. I’ve learned that being punished is a great memory aid. I’m proposing that if I fail to do something I was asked to do, I get punished. I think that the next logical step is to hold me accountable for all failures to obey, regardless of how trivial.

The reason I think this is important is that it will move us both closer to the real meaning of FLR/DD. I perform better when things are reasonably black and white. Mrs. Lion does better that way too. In the beginning I know my bottom will be sore quite a bit. But after a time, the length depending on the severity of the punishment, I will learn to always do what I am told. Punishment is a great memory aid.