Mrs. Lion and I both started domestic discipline without much real information. Sure, I’ve read lots of accounts on the Web about FLR and domestic discipline, but neither of us has actually talked with another couple who practices this. As a result, we’ve been feeling our way along in isolation. We would love to meet others in real life who practice this.
We’re both logical people. So we agreed to try male domestic discipline and then figure out how we could actually put it into action. We started with some rather trivial rules: no food spilled on my shirt, don’t eat before my lioness, don’t interrupt. Since I’m bound to break those rules fairly often, it gave us a chance to experience punishments. It’s taken us many months to get spankings painful enough to be a true deterrent. We still aren’t there yet, but Mrs. Lion is on her way.
As we mature in this practice, my rules have also expanded into areas that are more meaningful to our relationship. I am not allowed to shift a conversation so it is about me. Interrupting has been elevated into a much more important offense. I am also not allowed to expect Mrs. Lion to do something as soon as I think about it. No more, “Now, please!” I still have to keep my shirt clean and Mrs. Lion considers me eating first as a severe breech of manners. I agree.
We have a way to go. Punishments are limited to spanking so far. The intensity is probably lower than it should be. But there is rapid progress. I had a sore spot from Monday night that lasted all the way to Wednesday morning. Mrs. Lion is reluctantly increasing the intensity and, most importantly, the duration of spankings.
In case you wonder, the reason the spankings grow in pain and length is to make them true deterrents to future transgressions. I like to be spanked, though not the way I am currently punished. The advice of other spanking wives on the Web seem extreme (here’s one account). Mrs. Lion can’t ever see herself being that severe. She’s said that before, then 2.0 arrived. What we’re learning is that adult, non-recreational spanking is a bruising, painful event. It’s simply not effective unless it is. I think in my case, it’s what is best for me. We know we need to progress in the punishment department, so that trivial rules remain to give us more practice.
There’s also been progress in the definition of what earns me a punishment. I don’t have any particular problems that cry out for redress. So, for a long time Mrs. Lion was stumped as to where we should go next. One area Mrs. Lion is only starting to explore is failure to do a required task. The first one that earned me a spanking was forgetting to wear my training collar when we went out together. I have a standing rule that I must wear the collar anytime we are out together. I’m careful to put it on now! In fact, last Sunday, I put it on in the morning so that when we eventually went shopping, it would be in place.
I wouldn’t have done that if the punishment for forgetting was mild. That’s why I’m starting to realize that I have to seriously fear the consequences for a rule to be truly effective. That’s beginning to happen. The objective isn’t to severely punish me. It’s to severely punish me enough so I won’t earn another spanking later.
The other day, Mrs. Lion asked me to take out the garbage. I was working from home, so it made sense for me to do in during the warmer daytime hours. It’s very cold having to bring the garbage out in our unheated garage on a winter night. Especially since I am required to be naked. I remembered to do it. While carrying it out, I realized that a very useful rule to consider is that if I forget to do anything Mrs. Lion asks me to do, I get severely punished. It’s up to me to work out how I will remember. I avoided forgetting the training collar by wearing it all day. I can probably make a list or do something else to assure I do what I am asked.
This is a very new idea for us. Up until now, I am only punished for offenses that have been explicitly defined in advance. I think Mrs. Lion considers an unannounced rule unfair to punish. However, one of the key tenets of FLR and domestic discipline is obedience. I’ve learned that being punished is a great memory aid. I’m proposing that if I fail to do something I was asked to do, I get punished. I think that the next logical step is to hold me accountable for all failures to obey, regardless of how trivial.
The reason I think this is important is that it will move us both closer to the real meaning of FLR/DD. I perform better when things are reasonably black and white. Mrs. Lion does better that way too. In the beginning I know my bottom will be sore quite a bit. But after a time, the length depending on the severity of the punishment, I will learn to always do what I am told. Punishment is a great memory aid.