It’s Trivial

Sometimes taking care of Lion gets to me. It’s usually a little thing that sends me off the rails. Obviously, it’s a combination of things and that last straw really does break the camel’s back.

Since I’ve gotten contacts, I’ve been using Lion’s mirror in the bathroom. I use the higher magnification side and I try to remember to flip it back over to Lion’s side when I’m done. This morning, I flipped it but I didn’t get it into the correct position. When Lion went to put his contacts in, the case fell off the mirror and he lost a lens. He said, “I would appreciate it if you could put it back flat when you’re done with it.” For some reason, this hit a nerve.

It’s trivial. What’s the big deal? Why can’t I just make sure the mirror is flat? Why can’t he just make sure the mirror is flat? Is the toilet seat up or down? Does the toilet paper roll go over or under? Who cares? It’s just a nit picky thing that pushes all the wrong buttons.

Again, I think it’s in addition to other nit picky things that aren’t worth mentioning at the time. There’s something in front of the coffee pot so he couldn’t put it together for tomorrow. Could he move the “something” out of the way? That’s happened a few times and when I look it’s been things he bought that have no home yet. A few times it’s been dishes. But the way he says it makes it sound like it’s my stuff. How dare I put something on a counter. The nerve!

No. This has nothing to do with sex. But it does have something to do with our power exchange. Lion is right that I hold onto things rather than make waves. But, in this case, I think I’m right too. There’s no reason to punish Lion for not setting up the coffee pot if he can’t get to it, even if I think he should be able to move it. It’s a little thing. There’s no reason to punish him for asking that the mirror be left in a certain position, even if I think he should be able to move it. It’s also a little thing.

The problem, of course, is when the little things add up. Do I punish him because this one tiny thing, added to the list of other tiny things, pushed me over the edge? I say no. Lion will undoubtedly say yes. Whatever he did that annoyed me should be punished. Period. I’m still grappling with that. It’s been very difficult for me.

[Lion — I know this is tough for my lioness. I’m sorry]