Lion and I are having an email exchange, as we normally do on a workday. We’re talking about his longer-than-usual wait this time around. Last night he seemed annoyed that he still had to wait until March for an orgasm. He made it seem like it was news to him. We had discussed it last week. I’m pretty sure he was coherent for the conversation. Since he was annoyed, I wondered if I was pushing things too far. He assures me I’m not. I still worry.
In some ways, despite all the strides I may have made, I’m still a scared little kid afraid that I’m going to do the wrong thing and no one will want to play with me anymore. I think that feeling will always be there, no matter how well I try to hide it. I was also just wondering where the hell 2.0 is. She’s been AWOL for a very long time. I don’t think I’ve assimilated her. At least, I don’t think I have.
It seems to me 2.0 would have taken great pleasure in Lion’s frustration. She would be looking at dates into April for Lion’s next orgasm. She would make sure his butt was unable to sit comfortably for at least a day after some of his infractions. She’s just that kind of bitch.
If I had to give myself a number, I’d say I was at 1.75 right now. (Although some days it feels like I’m at a negative number.) Maybe 2.0 is off strategizing with 3.0 to get me to 2.5. I don’t even want to know what 2.5 has in store for Lion. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either. But we’ll get there, slowly but surely.
For now, 1.75 is going to try not to give Lion a ruined orgasm on his way to 22-plus days. And she’s working out the best way to make punishment more “memorable”. Lion has been adding to her bag of tricks, with slappers and butt plugs. He’s a glutton for punishment in more ways than one.