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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

After about a week of no punishments on his list, this morning Lion added two. He forgot the napkins on the breakfast tray. And when I went to clean up from breakfast I found water all over the counter. He had filled the coffee maker.

Neither of these is a big deal. Punishment is just a way to help him remember the napkins. I tease Lion that he’s not very dainty. No matter how careful he thinks he’s being he still has a certain sense of brute force about him. For some reason, filling the coffee maker is a challenge. We have a small pitcher and as long as you’re (I’m) paying attention, you can get the water into the reservoir with no spilling. Lion, however, tends to use the side of the pitcher where there is no spout. So what’s the problem? Who cares if he spills water? Well, as you can imagine, the water doesn’t care that it was supposed to be in the reservoir. It’s free now. Free to run under the other appliances on the counter. Free to run off the edge of the counter. Free to get whatever it encounters wet. And then we (I) have to chase it down. So to encourage Lion to be more careful, it is on his punishment list.

Adding things to his list has a threefold effect. First, I tell him what he did and that he should add it to the list. Next, he has to remember it’s punishment night and tell me what’s on the list. Finally, he gets punished. Technically the enforcement has three tries to correct the infraction. I guess I can also assume that each time he adds something to the list he reviews what’s already on the list. So maybe those items are enforced multiple times. Once the punishment is served he might remember the next time he needs a napkin or fills the coffee maker. That’s the goal.

Are these two things now rules that he must obey? Well, no. I’d like to think that he’d always try not to make a mess no matter what he’s doing. He does try to clean up after himself. If he spills a few drops of water I won’t punish him. It’s just when I have to chase the water all over the counter that it becomes an issue. I am only after the out of control messes. As for the napkins, I am trying to help him remember things.

Poor Lion.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Rewards

Lion was a very good boy yesterday. He reminded me it was punishment day. He had nothing on his punishment list. He did the laundry. He ran some errands. He cooked dinner. It was only fitting that I give him a reward for his hard work.

I wasn’t sure what his reward would be. Should I give him an extra play session last night? Should I give him a get-out-of-jail-free orgasm? Should I make breakfast on the weekend? So many choices. As is usually the case, it came to me in the shower. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought he should have two separate rewards. One for doing all those chores and one for not having anything on the punishment list.

Reward number one, for the chores, is an extra play session. This is not a play session of his choosing. I may ask him what he wants, but I am not bound by it. He gets to choose a non-play night that he would like some Lion attention. This coupon expires August 1 for no reason other than the fact that I thought it should expire.

Reward number two, for not having anything on the punishment list, is an opportunity to subtract one item from a future punishment list. Maybe he has only one item and he wants to avoid punishment that night. Maybe he had nothing on the list, but forgot to remind me about punishment night so now he has that on his list. Maybe he was very bad and has six things on the list and wants to avoid some of those swats. Whatever the reason, he can eliminate one item. This coupon also expires on August 1.

He was very happy with his Good Lion coupons. He filed them away in the Lion coupon hiding place. I don’t know how many he has now. I tear them up as he uses them. Not that I think he’ll try to reuse them. I just think it makes a statement. This coupon is gone. Rip. You have received your reward. Rip. I don’t know if he even notices when I do it. It may be more for my benefit.

It’s still easier for me to reward him than punish him. That doesn’t surprise me. I know he wants me to add items to his list. It’s just so difficult when he does so many things for me already. Generally the only time he gets a punishment is for doing something I told him not to do. Stubborn boy that he is. I’ll have to step up my game and start noticing more.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex, Spanking

We had a very successful play session yesterday afternoon. Lion’s buns were very pink by the time I got done with them. He did, however, squirm a bit and insist that I was hitting too hard and for too long. I disagreed and kept going. That’s sort of a first for me. Usually he complains about the same time I was going to stop and he takes that to mean that he influenced me. This time I decided to keep going even if I would have normally stopped.

It’s been a very long time since he’s had a sore bottom for fun. I took a picture of his rosy cheeks but I don’t think the picture quite showed the effects of all my hard work. At least Lion felt it. And Mr. Weenie was at attention when he rolled over. It didn’t take long for Lion to reward me with a yummy mouthful. Between tying him up, the long spanking, and the orgasm, he was one happy boy. He was even talking about it hours later when we went to bed.

I’ve decided to use the orgasm calendar near the tv to indicate Lion’s last orgasm rather than his next scheduled one. That way we can both see how long he has waited until the next one even if he doesn’t know when that elusive next orgasm will be. [You can see this information if you look at the right column] And I will take my cues from him to see when to give him one. As he mentioned in his post, he’ll go through a lull of a few days where he won’t want an orgasm. Then his need will increase for a while. At some point it will drop off. My goal is to keep his interest up for as long as possible. Sometimes I may go beyond the point where he loses interest, but that’s too bad. He can’t always have everything exactly when he wants it.

I don’t think I’ll intentionally give him any ruined orgasms. This time the experiment is my ability to read him. A ruined orgasm with throw things off. And, of course, we are still continuing the experiment of domestic discipline. I will not be giving him daily maintenance swats. I think I’ve gotten quite good at whacking him hard enough for him to get the message. I need to find reasons to correct his behavior now.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Punishment

Since I suggested we incorporate Female Led Relationship (FLR) / domestic discipline in our marriage, Mrs. Lion has been giving me “maintenance spankings” every day. Her idea, as she wrote in a post, was to give me small punishment spankings every night as a way to get used to disciplining me. As she said, it took her a while to feel good about edging me; in the beginning she felt she was being cruel. So, by giving me daily punishment spankings, she can desensitize herself about hurting me.

I agreed it was a good idea. I am using the opportunity to be better behaved when getting hard swats. I’m not doing very well. I try to get away. I know that people who have experienced punishment spankings as children learn to hold still and take the swats. Failure to do that resulted in restarting the spanking. On occasion, Mrs. Lion has added swats if I do try to squirm away. I’m not learning very well. I suspect it will take a long time for me to learn to hold still. Mrs. Lion has gotten very good at administering painful swats. She appears to be getting the experience she wanted.

I know from my prior experience that there is a very big difference between punishment spanking and play spanking. Both end up at the same intensity, but play spankings start soft and get harder as the bottom’s endorphin level rises. That way the spanking never really hurts. I know that if the pace is exactly right, the spanking feels good even though the swats are at full punishment force. Obviously, in a punishment spanking, it is supposed to hurt. The swats start at full, painful intensity. That’s what makes it difficult to administer.

For Mrs. Lion or any other dominant partner to be effective with punishment, she needs to be unconcerned with my reactions and perform the spanking with the intent of sending a clear message. Mrs. Lion has no history of corporeal punishment, giving or receiving, so there is no context for this new FLR punishment regime. I have no experience as the punishee, so I’m not much help.

If punishment is to be part of a relationship, the punisher has to be comfortable making her partner unhappy at times. That, after all, is the entire point of punishment. Right? There is a very positive benefit of punishment: once completed, there is no guilt. If I do something wrong and I get punished, the case is closed and I have paid the price for my transgression. No guilt. A sore bottom, but no guilt. That works for me.