By:
In: ED, Lion's Journal

Today is Fathers Day (yes, I know, this post publishes on Monday). I’m hoping my daughter will remember and call me. She hasn’t been very good about things like this. She was much closer to her mother. Also, I’m 3,000 miles away from her and her family. Oh well.

It’s been thirty days since my last orgasm. I tried out my new, stronger Trimix on Saturday night. I started with a .30 ml dose. Predictably, it didn’t produce a usable boner. If Mrs. Lion is up for it, I’ll try .40 ml tonight. That has a chance of working. I’m guessing that I’ll need to up it to at least .50 before I have a real chance. In case you were wondering, I am very ready to get off.

We’ve been doing a bunch of non-sexual things. Our power went out just before Mrs. Lion was going to prepare dinner on Friday night. We heard an explosion, and the lights went out. I guess a transformer blew up. The power was back two-and-a-half hours later. While the lights were out, Mrs. Lion went to a local barbecue place and brought back a yummy cheat dinner. I had St. Louis ribs, baked beans, and potato salad. Mrs. Lion had a brisket sandwich.

On Saturday, we ran a few errands. While we were out, we cheated again and brought home Jersey Mike’s subs. Each one was over a thousand Calories. We’ll make up for the extra during the week. Mrs. Lion rested and then played on her computer. I watched some TV. Then, at about five, I took a shower and did the Trimix injection. I didn’t expect much, and that’s exactly what I got. The good news was that the mushy erection didn’t hurt. The more potent Trimix is more agreeable to my penis.

Today, we have some more chores. Mrs. Lion is going to go outside with me so we can measure how much cable we will need for the new HF ham antenna. My new radio is coming on Monday, and the antenna is arriving from England on Tuesday. We have almost everything we need. The plan is to put up the antenna next Saturday. It’s a big project. The structure is a slender, thirty-foot-high fiberglass structure. We have to run wires up the sides that act as antennas for various bands. The process of erecting it requires testing and then trimming the wires to “tune” them for best operation. It will take hours. Mrs. Lion isn’t excited about this effort but has gamely agreed to do it with me.

Today, Mrs. Lion can get out some frustration with a sledgehammer. We need to drive an eight-foot-long ground stake. The new radio and antenna require their own private ground. That’s too bad because the house’s electrical ground stake is very close to where we are driving ours.

Getting and using a ham radio license is one of the very few remaining items on my bucket list. Thanks to Mrs. Lion, I’m getting it. What a wonderful wife!

By:
In: Spanking, ED

When some men start to discuss discipline, their wives answer, “Do you need a spanking?” So far, Mrs. Lion hasn’t asked me that question. If she does, I would have to answer that I do. I probably always do.  Maybe one reason she doesn’t ask is that she knows the answer and doesn’t want to add the work of spanking me to her list of chores. At least, that’s how it seems to me.

She doesn’t seem to like talking about spanking or our disciplinary relationship. I wonder why. I suspect that she is a bit uncomfortable with her role. Maybe that’s why her paddles are gathering dust. We should talk about it.

On Sunday afternoon, I tried another, larger dose of Quadmix. It produced a better erection that was still a bit less rigid than I would like. The problem was that it hurt. The injection wasn’t painful. I rarely feel the needle. My penis hurt as though it was struggling with the pressure of the blood being pumped in. That couldn’t be the problem, and I wasn’t near my hardest. I sent a note to the urologist asking what we should do next. I suggested a stronger version of Trimix. An erection that hurts isn’t particularly useful.

I’m getting discouraged. Even the Trimix erections aren’t terribly comfortable. I imagine that once I get the right strength of Trimix and the right quality of boner, I will have a good time. If not, I’ll have to give up. I’m not sure what that means. I could put the Trimix into our deep freeze just in case I get desperate enough to try again. Right now I’m not ready to quit, but I can see myself giving up if things don’t get better soon.

By:
In: ED, Spanking

Yesterday, Mrs. Lion responded to my questions in her post, “Answering Questions“. As often happens, her answers raised things I need to talk about. The first one is very difficult for me. It has to do with my efforts to achieve erections. When I started to try to solve my problem, it didn’t occur to me that arousal and orgasm would be issues. I assumed that if I could get a nice, solid boner, the rest would follow.

Well, it isn’t working out quite that way. So far, it feels good when the injection makes me hard. It is exciting. But I often feel some sort of effect from the injection itself. There is a little soreness. This is a common side effect and isn’t medically important. But it does distract me. Another complication is that my boner used to signal that I was ready to go. I was aroused and erect. Now, I am erect but not necessarily fully aroused. That means going straight to oral sex will take more effort from Mrs. Lion.

There have been plenty of times in the past when I just couldn’t get to the edge when Mrs. Lion tried. It didn’t seem to bother her, probably because she knew that she turned me on by getting me excited enough to get hard. Now, the erection is chemically induced and I think that she doesn’t feel that she is the reason I want sex. This is reinforced when I can’t ejaculate.

It’s true that my erection is chemically induced. It’s not even a little true that I am not turned on by my lioness. She absolutely turns me on. She’s the only reason I work so hard to get hard. I wouldn’t bother if she didn’t turn me on. Another point she made was that she feels rejected if I fall asleep when we are together. Like my ED, that is something I don’t control. It just happens. I’m sure that is just my body doing its own thing. We need to talk more.

About spankings

Mrs. Lion wrote, “I realized a few weeks ago that spanking seems to have become just one more thing to add to my to-do list. Even if I catch him breaking a rule, I still have to follow up with the spanking…Maybe I just need to spank him for the hell of it to reset the spanking gene.”

I’ve been thinking that Mrs. Lion has grown tired of doing things with me. While she was thinking that she doesn’t turn me on anymore, I’ve been thinking that she doesn’t want to do anything with me outside of day-to-day chores. Spanking and our disciplinary relationship seem to be gone. It isn’t the same when Mrs. Lion spanks me because I whine about it here on the blog. It really counts when she just tells me to mount the spanking bench without prompting from me. That sends a real message to me.

Maybe that’s the problem. Mrs. Lion feels that she doesn’t turn me on, and I feel that she isn’t really that interested in me. We are making things worse for one another. The only thing I can do is to try to adapt to the Trimix injections and return to a more normal version of myself. I can’t motivate Mrs. Lion to get out her paddles. Maybe writing  yesterday’s post got her thinking about spanking me.

By:
In: ED

If you look at the menu bar at the top of the page (for browsers), you’ll see a new item for erectile dysfunction. It’s a collection of recent posts that discuss my adventures with this unfortunate subject. When I get the time, I’ll do a set of pages that do a better job of telling the story. I’ve spent a ton of time trying to learn about this problem. For something that hits over twenty percent of men, you’d think there would be much easier ways to learn.

Tuesday night I did a .50 ml injection of Trimix. Since I realized that one problem might be positional erectile dysfunction, I wanted to go back to the less expensive drug and see if it worked. I did the injection and, for the first time, got an insertable erection. Sure enough, when I lay on my back, the erection subsided to a more floppy but still-hard state. When I stood, the penis went back to attention. OK, that shows the Trimix is effective.

I ordered some silicone penis rings from Amazon. While standing, I put on the smallest one in the set of six. It was comfortable to wear. I lay on my back again. This time the erection held. Voila! It looks like Trimix at .50 ml is going to do it for me. We’ll try again later in the week to be sure.

After I got on the bed with the ring on, Mrs. Lion gave me oral attention. Sadly, I couldn’t get to the edge, much less over the top. It was eighteen days since my last orgasm. I suspect that all of the fuss around the injection and the cock ring was too distracting for me to focus on being sexually aroused. That’s the odd thing about these injections. Even though I’m fully erect, I’m not necessarily aroused. This is something that both of us need to get used to.