By:
In: Sex

Here we are in our ninth year of blogging, and we still haven’t figured out how to handle sex. Yes, we know how to do it. The problem is when. Mrs. Lion is implacable when it comes to spanking me. If I break a rule, I’m spanked. It doesn’t matter if I want to see a special TV show. The spanking bench comes out, and I get paddled.

When it comes to sex, there is no sense of urgency. If I seem interested in a TV show, it must mean I don’t want sex. If I’m under the blankets, I’m surely not in the mood. Mrs. Lion says that I should let her know if I’m horny. We’re back to that again. I was in big trouble initiating when Mrs. Lion wanted sex for herself. I find it impossible now.

Do I let her know if she says she has a headache? What about when she’s under the covers because she’s cold? I know she doesn’t like to do things when her hair is wet. Wait! She’s busy with her iPad. Is it fair to tear her away from it? I’m starting from a position of extreme weakness. I’m asking for sex just for myself. Sex is work for her and fun for me. She has to do enough just to help me with daily activities. Sex has to be on the “optional” list.

Of course, after five or six days of no sex, it’s safe to assume I’m horny. It’s also safe to assume that I can be tired and horny simultaneously. I can be interested in a TV show and horny. I can eat dinner and be horny. I’m a multitasker! Also, if I’m into a cool TV show, I can always pause it. We’re over 20 years past needing to see TV live.

Mrs. Lion writes that she believes that I need to do something to let her know when I want sex. Fair enough, except that she drops everything to give it to me when I do. Boy, does that make me feel guilty. You can see where we are stuck. Stay tuned.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

Over my adult life, I’ve had the good fortune to experience both sides of the power exchange coin. As a top (dominant in Internet terminology), I’ve done scenes with scores of women as well as “owning” a 24/7 “slave” for a decade. During that time, like almost every other “dom” I’ve known, I also bottomed some of the time. My experience has taught me a few useful lessons.

The first is almost obvious. Tops (doms) do things. Bottoms (subs) experience things. The obvious mistake you can make when you read that is to assume that being submissive is to be passive. Experiencing something isn’t the same as passivity. I’ve learned that most people would rather bottom than top given a choice. An old friend of mine put it best, “It’s more fun to be done than to do.”

Most of our readers are bottoms. Tops are far less interested in reading about power exchanges. Why? Because topping is work. It’s a service. By definition, a top can’t get immersed into a scene. The top has to maintain perspective and guard the physical and emotional safety of the bottom. On the other hand, the bottom is free to disappear into experience, only to emerge when the scene is over.

I did a lot of reading and went to workshops to perfect my techniques as a top. Later, when I ran workshops on various topping skills, I noticed that almost all attendees were bottoms. Sure, there were some tops there, but most were bottoms. Attending a spanking, caning, flogging, etc., workshop was a chance to vicariously experience the activity.

I also taught workshops for bottoms as well. Remember, experiencing isn’t the same as passive acceptance. If I were a passive bottom, spanking me would be the same as beating a pillow; useless and unrewarding. Mrs. Lion doesn’t particularly like to spank me, but she sees value in doing it. The value comes from how I experience it and change as a result.

Bottoms often mistake self-serving fantasies for the kind of rewarding interaction a top desires. For example, how many guys who want to be locked in a chastity device think that they can make it worth their top’s while by giving her more oral sex? How many women would agree with that? You get the point.

Mrs. Lion tops me because she knows it makes me happier and more interested in sex. I am careful to let her know how much I appreciate the work she does to top me. The fact that we have been doing it for years doesn’t change anything. Topping is a service. I’m grateful to my lioness for providing it.

By:
In: Sex

I was waxed today (Sunday). Mrs. Lion has gotten very good at removing my fur. It took her less than an hour to remove everything from my neck to mid-thigh—this included time to tease me with oily hands. Practice does make perfect when it comes to removing my hair. She does a professional job from beginning to end. When she first started waxing me, I spent a lot of time in the shower picking bits of wax off my balls and other intimate areas. Now, all I have to do is wash off any residual oil.

As she was cleaning residual wax off me with one hand, she was masturbating me with the other. For a while, I had hoped that she would let me come. Nope. She got me very hard and aroused. I tried to “help” her with my hips. It was to no avail. I sit here hair-free and frustrated. What happened to my orgasm blitz?

Mrs. Lion is unpredictable. I should know that by now. It doesn’t make it any easier for me. Once she gets my motor running, I hope for a happy ending. Even if I know that she just teases me over ninety percent of the time, I still hope that I will get lucky this time. Would it do any good to let her know I’m getting tired of frustration? Probably not. She already knows I am.

I don’t get a vote when it comes to sex. Well, I usually get a veto. Mrs. Lion doesn’t try to see if she can get me going even if I say I’m not in the mood. I never understood why she doesn’t. She reasons that sex is fun for me, so if I don’t want fun, why give it to me? There’s a flaw in that logic. If I want fun, doesn’t it follow that she should give it to me?

It seems to me that taking sexual control should work both ways. If I don’t get a choice when I get to ejaculate, why do I get a choice when I don’t want stimulation? When I’m not in the mood, a session with the Magic Wand will probably overcome my resistance—just saying.

By:
In: Sex

My mother always said that if I eat candy, it will just make me hungrier. I suppose that’s true. Is it also true about sex? Mrs. Lion gave me a great oral orgasm on Thursday night. I woke up on Friday feeling horny. The sexual interest continues into Saturday. This pattern is pretty typical for me. Does it mean that I will respond if Mrs. Lion decides to do something sexual with me at a decent hour? Common wisdom suggests that I won’t. My refractory period should be longer than a few hours. Go figure.

I suspect that Mrs. Lion needs more than a day or two to recover. She never tries anything sexual for at least three days after getting me off. I’m not suggesting that she should. I’m also not sure that I would be all that responsive. It’s odd that my interest level is so high right after ejaculating. I have no idea why I decided to write about this. Usually, I have a reason. I’m not hinting at a change that I want. I’m not offering information of use to anyone else. I’m just telling you how I’m feeling.

At 4:44 AM Saturday, I was awakened by the bed shaking and a loud thumping. At first, I thought that the dog was jumping on the bed. I dismissed that when I reasoned that a fifty-pound pup couldn’t produce effects like that. When I became fully conscious, I realized that Mrs. Lion was doing something. I couldn’t figure out what, but I worried if she might attack me. Then, she woke herself up and asked me if I was awake. I told her that I was.

She got up and went to the bathroom. When she got back, I asked her what happened. She told me it was a dream. Then, she went back to sleep. In the morning, she told me what she dreamt. Her post, “Tomorrow Is Waxing Day,” describes it. She’s talked in her sleep occasionally but never taken action before. She was violent!

When I took Ambien to sleep, I did some bizarre things too. Mrs. Lion told me that I appeared to be fully awake and asked her to make me some food. She made it, and I ate it and returned to sleep. I have no memory of that. I do remember that just before falling asleep, the room looked odd. The walls were curved. I stopped taking that drug.

As far as I know, Mrs. Lion didn’t take any mind-altering meds on Friday night. Maybe I should wear a football helmet to bed.