In my last post, I discussed the connection between domestic discipline and sex. The usual suspects didn’t shout at me. I suppose they’ve given up on me and our blog. I didn’t talk about how useful this sexual connection can be. No, I’m not discussing using sex to attract him to his punishment. This has nothing to do with that.

I want to talk about how domestic discipline is viewed by the women who spank us. The fantasies portray disciplinary wives as women who are seriously committed to using spanking to punish their husbands. This is how most men want to think about how their wives view domestic discipline. I think that this is a serious mistake. It may be why so many men fail to convince their wives to spank them.

Let’s look at things from her point of view. First, I’m pretty sure most wives don’t seriously believe that spanking their husbands will solve any serious problems with them. Mrs. Lion thinks it’s kind of funny that I want her to spank me. She punishes me because I asked her to do it. She knows that my interest is serious. She also knows that I take her authority and ability to punish me seriously. I think she finds that amusing too. I’m willing to bet that she isn’t alone.

If you want your mate to spank you, it may be helpful if you consider things from her point of view. She is your partner because she loves you and wants to have you as her partner. It’s very unlikely that she expected to be your disciplinarian. She almost certainly expects you to be her partner. Right?

Now, consider how she would feel if you tell her about your disciplinary fantasies. She will take you seriously and probably decide that you have a screw loose. Most likely, she will decline to participate as your disciplinary wife. It wasn’t what she signed up for. I was lucky. Mrs. Lion has always been willing to try most anything I suggest. I’m also lucky that I generally maintain a fairly level view of my world. I understood that my lioness wouldn’t seriously believe that I needed her to discipline me with a paddle.

Her first question was, “What do you want me to punish you for?” It made sense. The subtext was that she was happy with me as her husband. She didn’t have any idea why I suddenly wanted her to spank me. My answer wasn’t very eloquent.  I told her that I thought she could spank me if I did things that upset her. She wasn’t buying that. Almost as soon as I said it, I knew that wasn’t a very good plan.

Mrs. Lion saved the day. She suggested that I needed rules that she could enforce. Of course! The idea was to find things that I do that need correcting. Not big things, little things that I was likely to do frequently. The idea was that Mrs. Lion could learn to watch me and catch missteps. Each time I broke a rule, I got spanked. The idea was that I would be spanked fairly often. We would both get practice.

I suspact that Mrs. Lion thought I would get tired of the frequent paddlings and asked her to stop. I didn’t. I was spanked every time I spilled food on my shirt. I did that a lot. I was spanked if I started eating before her. I did that often as well. Mrs. Lion didn’t like spanking me, but she found it amusing to catch me breaking the rules.

Over time, this pattern became automatic. Mrs. Lion no longer minded spanking me. She still didn’t enjoy it, but she didn’t dislike it either. She was fine bruising my bottom. It was one of her jobs as my wife. I think that the lesson in this is that she was never under any pressure to do more than catch me and then punish me. None of the emoional stuff in the stories applied. She never scolds me. Our arrangement is simple. If I break a rule, I get ten minutes of paddling. Case closed.

I think that the simplicity of this arrangement is a good way to get started. You aren’t putting your wife in the position of being a disciplining mommy. She’s your partner and is spanking you because you asked her to do it. She may think you’re crazy, but she is fairly likely to give it a shot.

After all the years that Mrs. Lion has been my disciplinary wife, I don’t think she takes spanking me very seriously. We’ve both learned that spanking works. I almost never spill food on my shirt. I rarely forget a chore. When I do, I ride the spanking bench for ten very unpleasant minutes. Easy Peasy.

Listen to this post.


  1. You know my story, but for the benefit of readers who may not…

    My husband first asked if I was into spanking at all and if I wanted to be spanked. At the time, that was a firm no.

    He then asked if I would spank him. I tried it and found it to be very empowering. He fetishizes domestic discipline, so I have played the strict wife role for him. I have also spanked him as part of a larger play to assist him in becoming more self-disciplined regarding his health.

    It was never really sexually exciting for me, but I enjoyed it very much. I now find being a bottom to be much sexier!

    1. Author

      Thanks for providing the back story. My history isn’t very different from yours.

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