How To Get Her To Spank And Punish You

You want me to do what?

Those six words are probably the most frightening response to a question in the English language. There’s no getting around it. When you make an unexpected, even-shocking request, you’re very likely to get that response. Fear of hearing those six words stops a lot of people from ever learning what’s possible in their relationships.

Thanks to books and movies like, “50 Shades of Grey”, if you mention spanking, you may not be greeted with jaw-dropping shock. You may still surprise her. If your intention is to receive disciplinary spankings, having that talk can be incredibly difficult. Mrs. Lion was a conservative, vanilla lioness when I met her. She liked sex but had no real interest in my kind of kinks. Very fortunately she’s both intelligent and open-minded.

It’s difficult for a lot of men to admit that they want to be spanked. It is even more difficult to admit that they want to be punished for failing to obey their wives. You could argue that the spanking conversation has nothing to do with the disciplinary one. Let’s face it, there are a lot of layers to this black and blue cake.

Let’s face it, asking someone who lives with you and who considers you her partner to, at least, partially take charge of you, and painfully punish you, is a big ask. Usually, it’s the advanced state of the male’s fantasies that kill it. You’ve had a lot of time to think about scenarios where your disciplining wife takes you in hand and paddles your bottom. If you’re going to be completely honest with yourself, you know these are hot, boner-producing fantasies. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if those fantasies are the context of your request to be spanked and punished, you probably will lose right from the start.

If you’re serious about wanting to begin a disciplinary relationship, then you have to introduce it in a way that promotes understanding and acceptance from your partner. Let’s take this in logical, digestible steps:

hand spanking across lap
A simple across-her-lap hand spanking is a great introduction to spanking. Be sure to always have a bare bottom for her to use as her target.

First, introduce spanking. Chances are very good she’s aware of recreational, adult spanking. It’s been represented in all the media as either funny or sexy. That doesn’t matter. In any case, it may be kinky but it’s probably comprehensible to your partner. So, it won’t seem too weird if you let her know that you think it might be fun if she spanked you sometimes. You can tell her that when you think about being spanked it turns you on.

She may tell you that you’re crazy. She may also say that she doesn’t want to hurt you. As I recall, Mrs. Lion said both of those things. You can laugh and agree that you are probably crazy, but the idea of having a hot bottom is exciting to you. Ask her if you could try it with her so you can see how it really feels. She may ask you how you expect her to do it? Whatever you do, don’t go to a porn site to show her examples! Instead, suggest that you could lie across her lap, or you could lie on the bed or over an arm of the couch and she could spank your bare bottom.

Don’t suggest using a paddle or a belt. Let her decide how she wants to do it. If she agrees, she will most likely use her bare hand and be very gentle. When she tries it, encourage or. Tell her that it’s a real turn on and that you like it when she spanks you. If you can get her to do this on a regular basis, you can encourage her to hit a little harder each time. Let her know that she isn’t really hurting you and that you like the feeling when she hit you harder.

She’s learning a new skill. It will take her time to get used to the idea that you want her to spank you in a way that you really feel. It took Mrs. Lion quite a while to get to the point where I would turn a little pink. Eventually, I managed to encourage her to try a paddle. I did that after she complained her hand hurt when she spanked me. I offered a reasonable solution to that problem.

a good starter pedal for her
At some point she’ll decide either it hurts her hand too much to spank you or she wants help. That’s the perfect time to introduce her to a spanking paddle. It’s the perfect gift! This paddle is a great first paddle for her to own.
(Click image to go to vendor site.)

As you can see, this process isn’t fast. Fortunately, it’s fun. You may be lucky and your partner discovers she enjoys spanking you. Don’t count on that. Chances are very good that she will accept doing it because she knows you want it and it makes you happy. As you encourage her to be a little more adventurous each time, the spankings will become meaningful. She will learn that she can use quite a bit of force without injuring you. You can even encourage her with a challenge to spank you until you beg her to stop. It’s all fun and games.

If you can get this far, you’ve achieved a lot. Once spanking becomes a regular part of her sexual repertoire, you can ask her about discipline. This is a much more difficult topic. There aren’t very many people in the world who are prepared to punish their partners. After all, marriage is a partnership. Rules and punishments generally apply to children, not married couples. That’s why it’s important to set the correct context when you ask about introducing discipline.

The discipline discussion can start by reviewing your spanking history. You can let her know how much you like the fact that she gives you spankings you can feel for a while afterward. If you are using the challenge, you can tell her how much you enjoy trying to hold out until you can’t any longer and have to ask her to stop. The idea is you are telling how much you like the spanking you introduced some time ago.

Here’s the tricky part. If you go on to say that you want her to be in charge and punish you if you don’t do what she wishes, chances are pretty good shall reject that out of hand. A few lucky souls have wives who will immediately see the benefit of this arrangement. The vast majority won’t.

When I thought about a disciplinary relationship long before I asked Mrs. Lion to try one with me, the fantasies were sexual. I don’t have any destructive habits that corporal punishment might cure. I just thought it would be really hot to have to submit to punishment for breaking rules. When you think about it, that is the essence of a disciplinary relationship. Even people who are in serious domestic discipline relationships, at some level find it exciting that they are subject to this external authority.

I told Mrs. Lion that I thought it would be exciting if she made rules and if I broke any of them, she would spank me as punishment. If you read back in our archives two or three years ago, you can read about the evolution of our disciplinary relationship. Anyway, Mrs. Lion understood that it made me happy to feel this control. Of course, we had been practicing enforced male chastity for a couple of years. She was used to the idea that I liked feeling her control. I think that made it easier to introduce punishment, but I don’t think it’s really necessary for everyone to start this way.

I presented it in a light way. I said that it would take us time to get used to the idea and practice it in a meaningful way. She agreed. She wisely created two rules that she knew I couldn’t help breaking. The idea was that we would get practice. She would learn to observe infractions, and I would learn to accept spankings in retribution. If you go back in our archives, you’ll see that it took us quite a while before I was consistently disciplined for breaking one of those rules.

Mrs. Lion came to enjoy catching me breaking a rule. She never learned to enjoy spanking me. But she does it because she knows it’s part of what makes me happy. Again, I refer you to our archives where you can read about the trials and tribulations of introducing a disciplinary relationship.

In the beginning it was more of a game than anything else. Catch me breaking a rule and give me a red bottom. If I don’t want a red bottom, don’t break a rule. As Mrs. Lion improved her observational skills, I got spanked for every single infraction. She learned to punish me whether or not I was in the mood for it. In the beginning it was a kind of game. She reasoned that if it was for me, then I should be able to postpone punishment if I didn’t feel like getting it on any particular night.

That was a very healthy sign. The concept of rules for me with consequences if I break them, became embedded in our marriage. We talked about it and we both agreed that we would become more serious in terms of rules and punishments. Mrs. Lion would make new rules that had serious value to her. For example, I often interrupt her. She hates that. She decided to make that a punishable offense. This was the first non-trivial rule.

It’s taken a long time for her to not only observe me breaking it, but also punish me if I do. For months, she would point out that I interrupted her. However, no punishment followed. The reason, I think, was that punishing me for interrupting wasn’t doing something because I wanted it. It was doing something because she wanted me to change. That’s a big leap. I suspect it is for almost everyone who tries this. That’s why starting off with rather trivial, easy-to-break rules is a good way to introduce a disciplinary relationship.

I’ve been referring you back to our archives. The reason I do this is because we’ve been recording our progress on a daily basis. You can read about what failed and what worked for us. If your partner is interested, she can read that too. The point is that going from vanilla to disciplinary is a long process. It’s almost always introduced by the disciplined partner. It takes conscious planning and a cultivated evolution to succeed.

I hope this post will help you create your discipline garden.