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In: Oral Sex, Spanking games
lion sleeping on his back

Lion wasn’t interested in sex last night. We didn’t do Spankardy because I didn’t have the new rules committed to memory yet. Earlier in the evening he said he was tired. I assumed he was too tired for sex. Too tired for oral sex? I guess so, although later on he said he wasn’t tired anymore. Oh well. There’s always tonight.

The thought occurred to me as I was about to type “Spankardy” that we used to play Zapardy as well. It’s a similar game except it uses the shock collar rather the spanking. We haven’t done that in a while. We haven’t used the shock collar much at all. Maybe we’ll have to fix that. I’m sure he could use a nice zap once in a while.

Our diets are going well. I’ve eaten more fruit in the past few weeks than I have in the past few years. I went to the store yesterday and walked past all my favorite aisles to get to produce. I walked past candy. I walked past the Valentine’s section with candy. Did we pick a stupid time to start a diet? Valentine’s Day, the Super Bowl. What were we thinking? We even got a visit from a cute little Girl Scout selling cookies. Yes, I checked the calorie count. It’s actually not too bad. A serving size is about 150 calories which is what most of our snacks are. The only problem is that a serving size is two or three cookies. Yeah, right! If I could stop at two or three cookies I wouldn’t look like this.

Lion misses going out to eat. We talked about having a cheat day. The problem I had with it is that we don’t want the same thing. I’ve been thinking about a big breakfast with an omelet and bacon. Lion was thinking of dinner. Then we talked about having pork chops or steak on Saturday. We’ve been splitting one regular size pork chop or steak for a while. Our downfall will be the baked potato slathered in butter. Plus, we already built in a cheat day for Super Bowl Sunday. Maybe we should just hold out till then.

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In: Games

It is another typical day in the Pacific Northwest. The temperature hovers in the 40s with an occasional dip below freezing. It’s spring here nine months of the year. We don’t get as much rain as people think. Our annual precipitation is about the same as in New York City. The difference is that ours comes in smaller, more frequent doses. When we first moved here, the nine months of cloudy weather bothered me. I have come to like it. For one thing, the sun bothers my eyes. For another, our weather gets much colder in winter or hotter in late spring (we have three months of summer sun each year) when the clouds dissipate. We are very far north, farther than northern Maine. The only reason we have such mild winters is that the Pacific Ocean and our insulating cloud cover keep us warm.

We haven’t been active. Monday night, there was no sexual activity. I figured that Mrs. Lion was concerned about her Tuesday meeting in Seattle. Whatever the reason, we watched TV and went to sleep. In her post yesterday (“Spankardy“), she promised to revive Spankardy. We tried various rules for the game over the last few years. I’m not sure that we found the right set yet. I’ll offer a suggestion to get us started again.

The reason it’s hard to work this out is that there are a few different options/opportunities during play:

  1. Answer a question correctly
  2. Answer incorrectly
  3. Don’t answer at all
  4. Daily double bet
  5. Final Jeopardy

Those are the possibilities during the game. Mrs. Lion likes to deliver all of the swats after the show is over. To help her keep track of swats during the game, she has a counter that can add and subtract. Initially, I only got swats for missing questions. I could avoid being spanked by staying silent. We tried various ways to fix that. None were great. Here’s my newest suggestion:

  1. Answer a question correctly -1 swat
  2. Answer a question incorrectly +10 swats
  3. Don’t answer at all +3 swats
  4. Daily double bet Can bet up to all swats earned so far. Get it wrong, double the bet added to the previous total. Get it right, subtract the bet from the total.
  5. Final Jeopardy Must bet at least 1/2 total. Get it right, subtract from total. Get it wrong, double bet added to total.

We can make the game more “exciting” by doubling the values for right, wrong, and skipped questions during Double Jeapordy.

This may seem too complicated for playtime. I don’t think it is if Mrs. Lion keeps a cheat sheet. I may be sorry I suggested this. There are a total of sixty questions before Final Jeopardy. If I don’t answer any, I would get ninety swats in the first round and 180 during Double Jeopardy. That would put me at 270 for the Final. If I bet the minimum (135) during Final and got it wrong, I would be at 540 swats for the game. It’s good to know trivia around here.