Too Tired For Sex

lion sleeping on his back

Lion wasn’t interested in sex last night. We didn’t do Spankardy because I didn’t have the new rules committed to memory yet. Earlier in the evening he said he was tired. I assumed he was too tired for sex. Too tired for oral sex? I guess so, although later on he said he wasn’t tired anymore. Oh well. There’s always tonight.

The thought occurred to me as I was about to type “Spankardy” that we used to play Zapardy as well. It’s a similar game except it uses the shock collar rather the spanking. We haven’t done that in a while. We haven’t used the shock collar much at all. Maybe we’ll have to fix that. I’m sure he could use a nice zap once in a while.

Our diets are going well. I’ve eaten more fruit in the past few weeks than I have in the past few years. I went to the store yesterday and walked past all my favorite aisles to get to produce. I walked past candy. I walked past the Valentine’s section with candy. Did we pick a stupid time to start a diet? Valentine’s Day, the Super Bowl. What were we thinking? We even got a visit from a cute little Girl Scout selling cookies. Yes, I checked the calorie count. It’s actually not too bad. A serving size is about 150 calories which is what most of our snacks are. The only problem is that a serving size is two or three cookies. Yeah, right! If I could stop at two or three cookies I wouldn’t look like this.

Lion misses going out to eat. We talked about having a cheat day. The problem I had with it is that we don’t want the same thing. I’ve been thinking about a big breakfast with an omelet and bacon. Lion was thinking of dinner. Then we talked about having pork chops or steak on Saturday. We’ve been splitting one regular size pork chop or steak for a while. Our downfall will be the baked potato slathered in butter. Plus, we already built in a cheat day for Super Bowl Sunday. Maybe we should just hold out till then.