By:
In: Lion's Journal

I must have an overactive imagination. If I were a reader of my blog, I would be curious about the people who spend all that time writing about their sex lives. After all, the Lions have written over 2 million words in more than 5,000 posts. That’s daily newspaper-level journalism. Since nobody has asked, I decided to do the ultimately egotistical thing and interview myself.

Lion, how much time do put into this blog?

Good question! (I ask myself the best questions) I spend about an hour a day writing my post and another two or three hours a week doing other chores around the website.

That seems like a lot of time. Don’t you have a life?

That’s rude! No wonder nobody asks me that. We don’t have a very active social life. Mrs. Lion and I keep to ourselves. There are other, more productive ways I could spend the time and energy I put in here. But I don’t. In the beginning, eight years ago, I had fantasies of developing some sort of online community. That dream faded quickly. Now, I write because I like writing. I also use the blog as a way to communicate with Mrs.  Lion.

Wait a minute. She sleeps next to you. Isn’t it easier to just talk with her?

I suppose. The posts here give us a way to propose things thoughtfully and tell each other what we feel about topics that might otherwise be overlooked. We also send emails to one another during the day. They tend to be the “We need more mild, dear” sort of things: bigger ideas, particularly risky, sexy stuff, work best in the blog.

Like what?

I have (stupidly?) encouraged Mrs. Lion to learn to deliver truly serious adult spankings. I give her feedback about how she is doing. I also propose new ideas for her to consider. One of the most valuable benefits of this communication is that it is clear and in writing. If I’m getting too weird or misreporting how we are doing, Mrs. Lion and our readers will sometimes call me out. It’s easy to go back and read what we wrote before. For whatever reason, we use our posts to keep us on track.

Why write every day? You can’t have that much to say.

So far, I am rarely at a loss for topics. Knowing that I committed to writing a daily post forces me to think about what’s happening in our lives. I have to go out into the Interweb and see what others are writing about. Writing daily posts demands that I actively think about what we are doing and what we might want to change or improve. Writing daily posts is an excellent way to avoid slipping into sexual entropy.

The blog has also helped me improve my writing skills. I think my prose has improved over the years. Writing the blog also encouraged me to write fiction.

Speaking of that, how is your book doing?

Did you have to ask that? (Of course, I did. I’m talking to myself.) Sales are horrible. It isn’t so much that Fan Mail is crap. I think it is a good read for its genre. I have no tools to promote it.  I’ve been working on a second book. I’m trying to use what I learned in writing the first one to improve my style. Given the lousy sales of Fan Mail, I am hoping to find a way to get the new book published by a real publisher. To do that, I need to find an agent. I had no luck with the first book. By the way, you can buy the Kindle edition of Fan Mail for only 99 cents. The paperback and hardcover versions are more expensive, but the price is the cheapest I can set. Spend a buck and help my ego! Click here to order or sample.

Let’s talk about sex. You seem to enjoy that.

It’s a lot less depressing than book sales. This blog has recorded every sexual activity we have had since 2014. I love sex, and I enjoy sharing.

Why do you publish pictures of your genitals and ass? You know, they aren’t unique.

They aren’t? Are you trying to depress me? There is a kind of naughty excitement exposing my nether regions to the public. No, I wouldn’t be flashing in subway cars if I didn’t have the blog. Some of the images are legitimate examples of the subject of the post. For example, it doesn’t make sense to show a chastity device that isn’t locked onto a penis. Since my penis doesn’t require a model release, it is a perfect subject for those shots.

In our early years, there were more gratuitous shots that were more for my titillation than for reader education. More recently, I reserve exposure to illustrating posts. For example, images of the results of my spankings provide an idea of how Mrs. Lion is doing in the punishment department. Some of our loyal readers enjoy seeing this.

There are very few sex bloggers who don’t end up flashing their readers. What can I say?

How are things going outside of the stuff  you write about here?

It’s a little more difficult. I was furloughed in April 2020 due to COVID. I haven’t been called back. I don’t think I will be. Fortunately, unemployment insurance has helped. Mrs. Lion is working so that we manage. I’m concerned about what will happen in September when unemployment runs out. It won’t affect the blog right away, but we may disappear if things get very tight. There are costs involved with our website.

Naturally, these worries affect all areas of our lives. I’m optimistic that we will figure out how to keep going.

Are you getting tired of interviewing yourself?

Oh no. I could go on for hours, but I won’t.

Last question. What is the one thing you believe your readers would ask if they gave a shit?

I think it would be, Do you really do all that stuff you write about?

And your answer…

Yup. We really do!

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Late yesterday afternoon, Lion asked if I wanted to play with his weenie. I said I would, but I had to think about dinner. It was not exactly a “no.” I mean, it was a no, but not in the exact word. I’m not sure if it follows the rules of what we’re trying to do. I didn’t intentionally not say no. Maybe in the back of my mind, I was trying to soften the blow. I really did have to think about dinner. I don’t think I would have wanted to play with him right that second anyway.

We didn’t talk about it later. Lion was snoozing a lot. We’re both having trouble sleeping again. The dog has been waking me up early. This morning I was able to go back to sleep until a little after 9. Lion was up and writing a post. I’ve promised him another test run on the spanking bench today. This time I’ll find a larger paddle to start with. And I’ll try to remember to set a timer. It won’t be a fair test without the timer.

The other test we need to perform today is to see if we can get the dog in the camper and the truck. If she can’t or won’t go in, we can’t leave for our camping trip on Friday. I fear that even if she makes it in the camper or truck, she may not be able to do it at some point when we’re gone. Then what? We have a ramp, but she growled at me when I tried to get her to use it a few weeks ago.

I think, by the time we’ve dealt with the dog, we’ll be ready for the “normalcy” of testing the spanking bench. Normalcy? In what universe is testing a spanking bench normal? Ours. At least it is since we got it. Before that, normalcy was spanking on a yoga pillow on the bed. I guess in that sense, we really are the center of the universe.

By:
In: Writing

I am trying to become a writer. Yes, I know that this is writing, but I’m talking about fiction, the kind people buy. My first effort was a start, but one that didn’t interest any literary agents. I understand. Even if my work is genuinely good, it’s still a random manuscript thrown over the transom. There’s little chance it will be noticed.

What I’m doing is futile by all accounts, like buying a lottery ticket and counting on it winning. Sure, somebody will win. The odds are overwhelming that it won’t be me. Still, I can’t win if I don’t buy a ticket. I spend my days trying to tell a story.

I entered my first book in BookLife’s annual contest. It’s a chance for a professional to critique my writing. The writing is graded on a scale from 1 to 10. This is my report card:

Plot: The plot here will ultimately gratify readers who are especially drawn to romance: girl meets the perfect man, girl makes tons of money. While there is trouble, tension, and a somewhat compelling mystery element, the romance lasts, and the money continues to pour in.

Prose/Style: The prose is rather stilted, with a lack of variety in the sentence structures. Verb tenses switch back and forth between past and present, and the book would benefit from a thorough edit.

Originality: While generally formulaic in its storytelling and concept, this novel introduces a unique plot element concerning the heroine’s professional circumstances.

Character Development/Execution: These characters would be better served by appealing to the reader as authentic and relatable, while the novel’s timeline might also be tweaked to allow events to feel more organic–most significantly, the romance between the protagonists, which comes across as rushed.

Score:

          • Plot/Idea: 5
          • Originality: 4
          • Prose: 5
          • Character/Execution: 4
          • Overall: 4.50

The anonymous reader is a staff reviewer from Publishers Weekly. I can’t argue with the assessment. I wrote the book quickly. I also have no training as a professional writer. My education is scientific. Yup, I need an editor. The problem is that unless I get a publisher, a professional editor is way beyond my ability to hire one.

What does this have to do with male chastity? Nothing. Hey, it’s my blog. I can go off topic if I want.

My second effort is very different from the first. I’m trying to tell a very contemporary story. I’m also trying to get educated on the elements of writing fiction. While it was fun to write the first book, Fan Mail, the second is painful and depressing. I see the glaring flaws in my ability to tell a story. Depressing.

I’m lucky that I’m an optimist by nature. There’s an old joke that comes to mind when I think about quitting:

An old man prays, “God, I have been a good man. I have worked hard and helped the poor. I would like to spend my last days in comfort. Please let me win the lottery.”

A week goes by and he doesn’t win. He prays again, “God, why do you ignore me? I’ve been a good man. Please, please let me win.”

This is repeated week after week for months. Finally, after the man repeats his prayer yet again and says, “God, why do you ignore me? Why can’t you make me a lottery winner? Why? Why?” A deep voice from the sky says, “First you have to buy a ticket.”

I’m not going to get a literary agent simply by wishing for one. I need to buy a ticket. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt if someone out in the blogosphere can introduce me to one. Meanwhile, depressed or not, I’m going to write. The world can use one more bad author.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

We talked about Lion asking for sex and my denying it so it would become ordinary. It would take away the power of rejection. I’m not exactly sure how it works. I asked if I reject him once and then accept the next time, figuring he’d ask twice a night. He said no. I should reject him both times. If I reject him every time he asks, I’m wondering when we’d have sex. As of this morning, I was trying to figure out if we’d started yet. This afternoon, Lion said he wasn’t sure how to start. So here we are. Neither of us knows what’s going on, but still willing to try.

I don’t think we’ve had such a hard time doing anything. Even when I was learning to spank Lion, as ineffectual as it was, I started and kept on going. I was deathly afraid I was going to hurt him, but I did it. The more I didn’t hurt him, the more I realized I wasn’t going to hurt him. Ironically, now he wants me to hurt him. Yes, he’ll say he doesn’t want it, but that’s only when it’s happening.

I’m sure it will hurt him when I reject him. That’s why I suggested I do it with a kiss or some sort of touch. I think if I soften the blow it will make him more likely to try again. That’s my theory at least. I’m not sure it will work, but we’re pretty good with experiments. Most of what we do has been experimental at one point or another. Who knew we’d still be maintaining a version of male chastity?

Lion needs to ease into it. Maybe he doesn’t need to ask twice a day. Maybe I don’t need to reject him every time. If he’s sure I’m going to reject him, why would he keep trying? Shouldn’t I mix it up a bit? We’re pretty good at figuring thins out. It just might take us some time.