Thoughts About Forbidden Sex

Maybe the drought is over. There was life between my legs this morning. Perhaps it will work when Mrs. Lion wants to play with my weenie later. That would be very nice. Today (Monday) is day 12 since my last orgasm. That’s not terribly long, even though it feels like ages to me. I guess my libido was on vacation.

Since I’m not allowed to jerk off, I didn’t explore how seriously horny I was. It might have been a transient boner that happened to be passing through. I hate when that happens. I’ve also noticed that I write more sex scenes when I’m horny. I turn myself on when I write them. This isn’t a good thing. It unbalances my process. A writer can’t be involved with what he is writing. He has to maintain distance. Writing fiction isn’t the same as reading it. When I read a good book, the story becomes a movie unfolding in my mind. When I write, I have to control the flow to make the mental movie work for my readers. I write better fiction when I’m not too horny.

Unlike other non-sexual activities, writing is a direct connection between my mind and what I am doing. I have no idea if other writers feel this way. Do they arouse themselves when they are writing sex scenes? I know that I generally discard libido-driven writing. It almost always goes too far. I’m not writing porn; at least I hope I’m not.

Sometimes when I write a post, I get aroused. Mostly, it’s because I believe that Mrs. Lion might turn my words into action. She is pretty reliable about doing that when I write about spanking. When I write about sexual activities, she usually doesn’t take the hint nearly as often.

She has written about two sexual activities we haven’t done in years. She recently said that she might want vaginal intercourse. The last time we did that was April 22, 2018. The other was having me jerk off. The last time I did that was with her watching in December 2013. Since I am doing stats, the last handjob to orgasm was December 24, 2020. Before that, it was June 20, 2020. All other orgasms have been oral. No, I’m not complaining! I love the way Mrs. Lion sucks me off. (See? I’m horny and writing about getting off!)

The “forbidden” sex has come about for understandable reasons. Mrs. Lion doesn’t like the idea of me jerking off. I am not sure why. Was she this way with her ex? Is supervised masturbation as unwelcome to her as me doing it alone? It makes sense we don’t have vaginal sex. It doesn’t do anything for Mrs. Lion. Oddly, I know I can give her an orgasm with my hand or mouth. Apparently, while she has one, it isn’t pleasant for her. I don’t understand that at all. If my libido goes away, I can’t ejaculate. But Mrs. Lion can have an orgasm and not want sex.

I’m not sure what it would be like to jerk off again. Maybe I can’t do it myself anymore. Perhaps I can’t come inside Mrs. Lion. It’s been three years. Maybe if I got her really going with foreplay and she rides me in cowgirl (she rides reverse cowgirl when she wants me to ejaculate inside her), she will have an orgasm during the ride. I wonder if that might turn out to be fun for her. She used to like lion riding. Even if I don’t come during her ride (I didn’t in the past), she or I could jerk me off—just a thought.