I am writing this on Sunday afternoon, a little while before the Superbowl. Mrs. Lion decided we would play spankball. Her post yesterday said I would get three swats for each point scored by Tampa Bay and two for each by KC. It would be her way of letting me know which team she wants to see score (Tampa Bay). [Mrs. Lion — Actually it’s because I’ll be mad that Tampa Bay scored.] She also decided to wait until the end of the game and give me all of the swats for the score at once. That way, I won’t have time to recover between spanks. The effect will be maximized.
We experimented with ways to differentiate between play spankings and punishments. It seemed that if play spankings were no different than punishments, I would either be unfairly hurt or punishment spankings would be minimized. Mrs. Lion tried making play spankings milder. That didn’t work. She tried building up the force more slowly and using her hand in the beginning. That also didn’t seem to do it.
I suggested that there is probably no difference between a spanking administered for breaking a rule and one given “just because.” There are plenty of BDSM activities other than spanking that hurt. That doesn’t stop them from being hot. The issue with spanking is that it is used for BDSM and punishment. For a while, Mrs. Lion only spanked me for punishment. That avoided any confusion on my part. It also stopped an activity we both like. The current thinking (at least mine) is that a spanking is a spanking. Whether it’s for not setting up the coffee pot or for play, it’s the same thing. Mrs. Lion uses a paddle to make my bottom hurt and keep hurting for a day or two.
It isn’t rocket science. It’s an activity that has proven effective sometimes to turn me on and other times teach me to correct my behavior. Neither of us has any trouble differentiating between the two. There’s no reason to change how it is administered. In fact, we learned something new the last time I was punished: Mrs. Lion used a timer to establish the minimum duration of my spanking. It was very effective. I felt the spanking for three days. That’s the desired outcome. This is true whether the spanking is for fun or punishment.
I did a little research. There is a lot of material about spanking on the web. Most of it is garbage. However, there are a few sites with what seems to me to be good advice. One thing I read that we learned through experience is that there are two phases to a spanking. The first is preparation. It’s almost impossible for me to hold still if the spanking starts with very hard swats. That seems to be true of most people. The experts advocate “warming up” the person being spanked before the actual punishment. One of my favorite sources of knowledge is the old Disciplinary Wive’s Club website. It teaches that a fairly long and painful warmup is needed before announcing that the punishment is starting.
The concept of informing the person being spanked when the warmup is finished is very powerful. I can imagine enduring several minutes of painful spanking only to be informed that the actual punishment hasn’t started. While Mrs. Lion doesn’t announce this–too bad, I think it would be very effective–I can feel a difference when she begins the second phase. Being told that worse is coming is very powerful.
Based on my experience on the receiving end, I think the second phase is the most effective. I think Mrs. Lion has nailed the warmup. Maybe the clock needs to start on the actual punishment phase. Perhaps starting a timer when she would normally begin the harder swats would be most effective. I know that when she begins those, I truly feel her displeasure (or authority). The so-called play spankings do more than satisfy a sexual need. If strict enough, they let me know who is in charge and that I have to stay in position and take the pain. That’s why there is always a good reason for any spanking.
[Mrs. Lion — As I was reading Lion’s explanation of when the real punishment begins (I don’t consciously spank harder at a certain point) I was thinking I should “warm up” with the swats earned for Kansas City points and start the punishment when I get to the Tampa Bay points. Not because I think TB will win and therefore have more swats, but because those points will annoy me the most and thus be harder.]
End note: The final score was 31 to 9. I got 18 regular swats and 93 hard ones. OW!