It’s no secret that I’m spanked by my wife. We have a domestic discipline relationship. It didn’t start out that way. In fact, even after we decided to add spanking as a punishment for “rules” I wouldn’t say that we had made a decision to practice this. It didn’t exactly sneak up on us. It was more evolutionary. The changes were slow and subtle.
This all came to mind when I read a post by Julie, a prominent spanking blogger. She’s been writing about spanking her husband for many years. In recent years, there have been occasional digressions when she gets spanked by him. All of the spankings were considered scenes, BDSM play, not lifestyle discipline. In fact, a couple of years ago we exchanged emails and Julie made a point of the fact that her sessions with her husband were because he likes to be spanked and humiliated. They were unrelated to behavioral issues of any sort.
Her most recent writing is an announcement that she’s become a spanked wife. She has asked her husband to punish her as he sees fit. That’s what got me thinking. Mrs. Lion is my disciplining wife. It’s impossible to deny that I’m a spanked husband. Mrs. Lion spanks me the same way Julie spanks her husband. The difference is that Mrs. Lion can spank me at any time and for any reason, she feels it is necessary.
Like me and like most other spanked spouses, Julie initiated the domestic discipline. This is exactly the same as enforced male chastity. The male partner who wants to be locked in a chastity device approaches his partner to become a keyholder. Similarly, a prospective spanked husband or wife approaches their spouses with the request to be disciplined.
I suspect that the domestic discipline practiced in our house and now in Julie’s as well is considerably different than the original, classic view of spousal discipline. Traditionally, domestic discipline is something practiced by couples belonging to various religious groups who believe there is a biblical mandate for husbands to take their wives “in hand”. These people have developed a large body of practices supporting this belief. They are adamant that there is no sexual content in this spousal disciplinary relationship.
The “New Age” DD that we practice starts with a sexual interest in spanking. I’m sexually aroused by the idea of being spanked. I’m also aroused by feeling Mrs. Lion’s authority. It’s really hot! It doesn’t stop there. I get a sense of stability and comfort knowing that Mrs. Lion will punish me if I do something that she doesn’t like.
The comfort isn’t just from feeling the authority of my mate. It’s in my knowledge that there is nothing going on under the surface. If Mrs. Lion is unhappy with something I do, she will let me know in a very painful way; at least that is my hope. I feel a sense of security knowing that we both have a clean slate at all times. This wasn’t always the case. Mrs. Lion will tend to suppress negative feelings until they leak out in a destructive way. Hopefully, that won’t happen now because she has an outlet that she knows works for both of us.
I’m not claiming anyone else shares the way I feel about it. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that people practicing DD for any amount of time are clearly getting a benefit from it. Part of the benefit may be the sexual arousal that results from spanking or being spanked. There’s nothing wrong with that. Part of it is the ability to exercise authority in a way that both partners understand. I’m not sure Mrs. Lion knows exactly why DD works for her. I know why I think it does, but that’s certainly not necessarily the right answer. However, she’s discovered that when we suspended DD because of my surgery, she missed it. She hasn’t articulated why. It doesn’t matter. It’s just that she did.
Unlike the religious proponents of DD, I don’t see any problem with feeling sexually aroused by our power exchange. It’s actually a good thing. The fact that there is a sexual pleasure at some level guarantees that I will be a very willing subject when I need to be punished. That doesn’t mean the punishment isn’t effective. We’ve learned that it is. I’ve learned that I don’t like being spanked. I like the idea and it gives me an erection to think about. The act itself is painful and very unpleasant. I work hard to avoid it.
In this respect, I think Julie and I are very much alike. We are turned on by the act itself as well as the humiliation surrounding it. There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t bother Mrs. Lion that I feel this way. When we first started, if I told her that I was no longer turned on by it, I’m pretty sure she would stop being my disciplining wife. I am very sure that she won’t stop now no matter how I feel.
Anyway, good luck, Julie. I hope you find as much goodness in a disciplinary relationship as I have.